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begu · Dec 7, 2009, 03:55 PM

Hello, I'm a 16 year old boy with a problem. I am in love with my best friend. We have known each other for just two years but over the past year she has become my closest girl friend. But I don't want to be 'just friends' with her. I can rarely stop thinking about her and every night I go to bed dreaming that one day she will feel the same about me. The problem is I don't get girls really and I wouldn't call myself a ladies man. She on the other hand has had many boy friends. I met her because she was going out with one of my best friends who later cheated on her. This further angers me... I can't stop thinking that no other boy is good enough for her. She deserves more than someone purely after sex. I love her and don't know what to do? Do I sacrifice one of my best friends for the chance she may like me even one tiny bit or do I just wait and hope someday my dream comes true?

s_cianci · Dec 7, 2009, 04:57 PM

I've always believed that friendship is an important part of a relationship. You've obviously already crossed that threshold with this girl. But I wouldn't push for too much too fast. Continue to be friends with her. Time will tell if there's to be anything more between you or not.

Devorameira · Dec 7, 2009, 05:13 PM

Think it all through before you make a move. Are you willing to risk losing everything? By trying to take this to the next level, you risk your friendship, and it can never go back to the way it is. You might think it's okay if you can't have her as someone special, you're perfectly happy going back to being best friends, but that's not the way it'll happen. If she says no, if she's shocked, anything, your closeness is, for the most part, gone. This can be a very tricky situation.

Even if you do get together, this can spell utter doom for the friendship. You might get together, but what if you break up later on? Even if it's mutual, you would be seeing your former lover in the arms of other people. How would that make you feel? Be mindful of the future.

If you’re willing to risk friendship in hope of a romantic relationship, go for it. Tell her exactly what you feel in your heart. Good luck! :o

ninjajr92 · Dec 7, 2009, 08:37 PM

Friendship can be destroyed easily by a relationship. However, if you don't make a move there is a very slim chance of anything happening between you guys. You sound like a great guy and she would have to be a fool not to date you. BUT keep in mind, are you willing to risk friendship? You have to sit down and think about this one clearly. Good luck! I'm here for any further questions about this discussion. =]

begu · Dec 9, 2009, 02:02 PM

But how do I tell her?

jaime90 · Dec 10, 2009, 02:55 PM

Friendship is the best foundation you could build a relationship on- after all, do you want to be in a relationship, engaged, or married to your best friend, or a stranger? Friendship should start BEFORE the relationship, not after, so you have a good start. Now, you need to tell her how you feel. It is only natural to be nervous about telling her, but by expressing your feelings you are practicing honesty and trust that come with a future relationship. When you do tell her how you feel, and ask her how she feels, remember that you can survive a 'no,' or a rejection. It will hurt, but you will, by no means, die from it. Hopefully though, she doesn't turn you down! It is a big leap to ask her, and you are risking a lot. But your best bet is to be honest and open with her, tell her what is on your heart, and then ask her how she feels about beginning a relationship with you. If she agrees to begin a relationship, make sure that you take things very slow in transitioning from friends to girlfriend/boyfriend. VERY slow, there's no need to rush.

ninjajr92 · Dec 12, 2009, 10:01 PM

Simply tell her how you feel in person. If you honestly would like to be more than just friends, then the best thing to do is to be honest. Only then will you get what you want and the best will happen. =]