[paxe]

Work on yourself and apply NC ASAP. It's only a setback but try to work on yourself and make yourself feel good. Go the gym to get that frustration out.

[azif]

I have the urge to tell her I still love her and miss her.

Tried to go out with a friend last night but just couldn't be stuffed. So left early.
I'm not sure whether it feels like my ex and I are still together or something but I don't feel like meeting someone new.

Can't go running anymore for a month or so. Gave myself shinsplints.

Should I just stop worrying about everyrthing and throw myself into work until I'm ready. Nothing seems to matter anymore

[paxe]

Be patient! Everything takes time. It's normal that you miss her and that you do want to break NC, but DON'T BREAK IT!

Do the things that are fun to you and don't go and try to date somebody else. Take care of yourself first and foremost and do a lot of sport. Day by day, things will get better and life will come back to normal. Trust me.

[glenboy123]

Another question

Have a booking for the best restaurant in Australia (had been waitlisted for ages) next weekend

Do we go as friends? assuming i ask her and she says yes :S

My parents were going to be paying for it as a graduation present. her parents got me something so mine feel obliged to either pay for this or get her something :S

This is probably going to sound harsh but:

You should have gotten your s### together, smartened yourself up and start acting like a man and gone to that restaurant. You've obviously been looking forward to it so why the hell should you have been made to feel like crap and avoid going? You haven't just let yourself down, you've let other people down who have also been looking forward to it, your folks even? Are you going to spend the rest of your natural life avoiding certain places through fear of meeting your ex? If you allow yourself to start developing that type of mentality then pretty soon you will be too scarred to even set foot out of your own front door. I've been in that situation and believe me, you DO NOT want to start down that road because it ain't nice. You allow yourself to be scarred of the outside world and before you know it, you also have feelings of hate and anger and loathing towards your ex which can end up being more destructive than the initial feelings from the break-up. You're a man. Project your strength and show no fear, no matter how hard it is to face.

Sooner or later you may find yourself in the situation where you meet your ex again. Are you going to run away? A part of the healing process is also about confronting your fears, because that's what you have right now - fear. Fear of seeing your ex. Do not put your life on hold because of someone else's actions or possible reactions. The priority right now is getting YOU ship shape. If other people cannot handle you being in a certain place then that's THEIR problem not yours. Do not allow your life to be dictated by the reaction of others.

Right now you have absolutely zero confidence. You start acting like a man and you'll get your confidence back and eventually you'll start to feel like a million bucks.

Trust me, it'll work.

[azif]

I think I still love her. I just want to tell her. I'm not sure if deep down I feel it's over maybe my mind is just trickingitself like she's on a vacation and shell be back.
It's three months now should I find a counsellor
Nothing is forever. Everything is meaningless
Or at best insignificant

[amicon]

I know it's not a hard and fast rule but some people believe it takes a month for each year together to get over someone. Just a speculation.
Are you eating right and sleeping OK?
As for seeing a therapist,maybe you should?
I do feel that you need to realise that it's over and that you deserve to heal.

[paxe]

Are you healing actively? Did you start new activities, go to the gym everyday, be more social, meet new people, volunteer?

[azif]

I'm eating OK. Exercising a reasonable amount. Not sleeping right though. I'll give it another month before I get more help. Past my exam in the end. So I guess I can survive on my own. Thank god.

Need to get out more and achieve a few things that I wanted. But it's hard to get motivated. If I hang out with friends it's normally one of two of my old friends.

Saw the ex tonight while we were celebrating passes. Couldn't leave it at just how are you etc etc
Spoke to her alone. She asjed what I wanted. Said wanted her back but realized that wasn't going to happen. Which of course she just said yes too

Lifes okay but just not the same without her. Any advice on how to be happy? Books?

[amicon]

Well done for passing your exam. And talking to the ex didn't floor you,that's good too. Maybe you should see your doctor sooner rather than later if you're still not sleeping right?
Check out Amazon for books,there are loads.
Take care.

[paxe]

Actually it's really great that you are taking care of yourself and passing exams. It takes time to get better, but you do get better. Read articles on Google they help a lot (write break up in google).

[azif]

Was expecting to see her today at a do. Guess it's better that I didn't. Heard a song on the radio on the way home and just broke down. Want to call and tell her I love and miss her even though it's futile.

[amicon]

Calling her is not a great idea,as I think you know.
What else is going on in your life?
Have you made new friends?
It is OK to still miss someone,but I hope you are moving on with your life.

[azif]

Work all week an now I got to study all weekend. Don't really have much time for anything. Which I guess can be good. Hanging out with old friends a bit more.
Don't think I want to move forward. Plan is now to just work. Qualify. Work. Die

[amicon]

I seem to remember you mentioned therapy a while ago.
Have you done anything about that?

[azif]

No. I don't think there's much point anymore. I know what I should do or at least think I do. It just feels like it's better to be alone and never rely on anybody for anything more than you need. Just got to be content with my lot.

We're just trillions of atoms that have devloped self consciousness. There's no point. We live for maybe 100 years or less and then dissintegrate.

Sorry for the self pity. Hate being a hypocrite. It's nice people listen. But I don't want to wnt people to listen and yet I can't help but want it

[amicon]

I would still advice you to go see a therapist.
You need to get some respective on your situation.

[hopeflies]

Hi azif - I may not be able to help like the others but I just wanted to let you know that I understand how you feel and I know how hard this can be. I am going through a break up myself so I can completely relate.

I understand that everything seems grim at the moment and you just want to be alone but maybe talking to someone who is completely unbiased (such as a therapist) might help you with some strategies to pull yourself out of this slump and re-focus your energies.

It really helps me to talk for an hour to someone where I don't have to worry about what I am saying. I also feel like I have exhausted talking about my ex with my friends and family - so having my therapist is a good outlet! Plus I pay him to listen to me - so he has to! Haha

As a student, there may be free counselling at your uni - you should check into it!

It will get better – I promise! (I have to keep reminding myself that too! – but from experience - it really does)

[azif]

I'm not sure if is call it a slump. Some things in my life are going well (but I'm self destructing a little). I guess it's an emotional slump though I feel I've been in one half my life. It was just more bearable when I thought there was someone with me.

It doesn't feel like I'm the only one going through this. I read the rest of this forum too and get perspective. What it does feel like is this is how life is. Nothing is permanent. All you have is yourself. So might as well get used to it.

But then again it can't hurt I guess speaking to someone face to face. See when I find some time. Might even score some prozac out of it. Jokes.

[amicon]

Well hehe,but seriously I think it would do you good.
Stiff upper lip and going it alone isn't the only option. :-)

[azif]

Threads merged

Would you, should you?
And if so how? Anonymously? Or just a small note?