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Lynn16 · Dec 9, 2009, 10:59 AM

Im so confused... my boyfriend was my best friend for a long time before we dated. Its been over a year that we'v been together. We had broken up for a week about a month ago. (he's the one who decided to leave and he's the one who asked me to come back) but he won't see me unless were with friends, and he won't have sex with me. He's fine with playing, things like BJ's and fingering. All that stuff, but not sex. What's going on? I'm so lost

amicon · Dec 9, 2009, 11:14 AM

I think you need to ask him that as all else would be speculation. How old are you?

Alty · Dec 9, 2009, 11:24 AM

Sounds like you're in the friends with benefits zone, only he's the one getting the benefits.

Justwantfair · Dec 9, 2009, 12:07 PM

If you are sixteen, there are other things to worry about.

Maybe he figured that out.

He doesn't want to be a father?

Mistique · Dec 9, 2009, 12:13 PM

If I was you; I would have taken the first break up and walk. I would have never went back to him after he broke up with me. What was the reason he broke up with you in the first place? I have been dumped only once but I knew never to go back to that guy EVER. There is a reason why you two broke up and there is a reason why he wants you back. Why does sex play such an important role? What about being friends and working on the relationship - do you want to be used?

I wouldn't give him any action if it was me - he would have to earn it and earn my trust/respect back after dumping me. The best thing you can do is talk to him.

talaniman · Dec 9, 2009, 02:26 PM

Surely you see he is using you just for sex. Yes, all the things your doing is sex, but he doesn't want you pregnant.

Blowjobs can't get you pregnant but he gets his rocks off, right?

Gemini54 · Dec 9, 2009, 04:09 PM

So ask him what's going on. If he doesn't want to be in relationship with you, and just wants to be friends that's fine.

But. And it's a big but. No BJ's, no fingering, no benefits.

Draw some boundaries. Don't let him use you.

talaniman · Dec 9, 2009, 05:27 PM

Why does he get the privileges of a boyfriend, while being just a friend.

Friends don't blow there friends, so why let him make a slut out of you??

Do you need sex that bad??

ohsohappy · Dec 9, 2009, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Why does he get the privileges of a boyfriend, while being just a friend.

Friends don't blow there friends, so why let him make a slut out of you???

Do you need sex that bad???

It won't let me rep you Tal, but I definitely agree.

jmjoseph · Dec 9, 2009, 06:27 PM

So, what he has figured out is that he can still have you provide services for him, and not have to worry about being tied down. You two are "just friends", so why couldn't he date?

Tell him no thanks, and go find some other guy.

But don't be having sex unless you want to have a child. That's right. It happens every day. Be ready to be on here asking about how to tell your parents about you being pregnant with your "friends" baby.

Go enjoy being a teenager. But be careful of the consequences.

Alty · Dec 9, 2009, 06:31 PM

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

So, what he has figured out is that he can still have you provide services for him, and not have to worry about being tied down. You two are "just friends", so why couldn't he date?

Tell him no thanks, and go find some other guy.

But don't be having sex unless you want to have a child. That's right. It happens every day. Be ready to be on here asking about how to tell your parents about you being pregnant with your "friends" baby.

Go enjoy being a teenager. But be careful of the consequences.

If that advice would only sink in then the world would be a better place.

Stick to kissing and holding hands, until you're ready to be a mom.

jaime90 · Dec 10, 2009, 02:42 PM

It's a good idea to save sex, it makes things way more complicated than need be.

Also, don't pressure him into doing ANYTHING. Before you start another relationship, you should make your views on sex and sexual activity very clear BEFORE a relationship starts. This way you know you are both on the same page.

Mistique · Dec 10, 2009, 08:33 PM

Be on the birth control, use condoms - be protected at all times with anyone and everyone you consider a partner. Being a mom isn't as easy as everyone thinks at first! Even now it isn't easy because they will be a teen like you! It is around the clock job and a life job!

I made sure my first partner felt the same way I felt about him - whether it was now or forever is your choice.

I waited for Mr. Right and I got him.

Don't let anyone treat you like a porn star! Be a porn star when you have scored the "right" guy!