[rubberband]

My girlfriend who I loved for over 3 years does not seem to want me back. Lately we have been arguing a lot and the last time I saw her (a couple days ago) I walked out on her because I felt if I stayed there any longer it would have gotten worse. She pulled my arm to try and have me stay and calm me down but I walked out still.
The next day after I cleared my head I was about to talk to her through MSN when I find that she has added her Ex on Facebook. I was so upset that I called her really bad things like whore and slut... I know it was so bad but this was not the first time she's been up to no good (I forgave her for seeing other guys behind my back cause she swore to me that she never cheated on me).
Anyway she told me that she is leaving me and that she can't take it anymore. I have been such a wreck the past few months I had no job and I was kicked out of school, but for over a year she supported me more than I could ever imagine. She told me I never appreciate anything she did for me and I actually listened to her. Well I got a job now and Im going back to school.
Today I bought flowers for her and poured my heart out telling her everything is going to change now I want her to be happy but I want to be the cause of her happiness.
She told me she needs time to think about it and she been happy lately by herself because she can actually do things that she likes. I asked her if she found someone else and she said no. I believe her.
I suppose what Im saying is that I am really sorry for giving her such a hard time to make her lose a lot of feelings for me and that I never paid attention to her. I was too busy being depressed and spending time with my friends smoking up. I changed and I want her to see the better side of me just like when we first went out because she deserves it. Should I just move on or wait it out and give her the space? Even though she says the feelings not there anymore she tells me she just needs time. I can feel she still has something deep inside or am I just being over my head? I love her, I always protected her from other things but I couldn't protect her from myself as an arrogant sob. Please don't think of me as a bad person Im really kind to my friends and family Ive just been through a lot.

[amicon]

You leave her alone and concentrate on your job and school and continue sorting your own life out( well done for getting that straightened out.)
Selfmedicating depression by smoking pot is not a good idea so if you're still doing that seek help to stop smoking.

[Devorameira]

I agree with amicon. You need to move on.

You indicated that you've had problems with yourself in the past and have acknowledged them, so you know you need to change. Trying to get her back right now won't fix you up in the long haul. You need to continue on your road to self-improvement and forget about her for now.

I'm sure that you've said and done some really lousy things to her in the past and have apologized and told her that you'd change, but haven't. That's all she can see right now - an empty promise. Make some real long lasting changes in your life and just maybe someday she'll notice. If she doesn't you still haven't lost, because you will have become a much better person and have more to offer a lady. :)

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The part that sucks about love is that you DO get to choose who you love, but you DON'T get to choose who loves you back. - Unknown

[talaniman]

Leave her alone guy, as apologies for bad behavior fell on deaf ears after the name calling. Rightfully so. You have enough things to worry about getting your own act together and need to do so. Let the dust settle and everyone has time to cool off, and think with a clear head, and not out of anger, or frustration.

You have done quit enough acting out on impulse.

[rubberband]

Yeah you guys are right. I can't go back to her the way I am now even if she forgives me. I need my own time to change and maybe one day if she was waiting or still interested Ill be ready to accept her as a better man. Im going back to university for winter term and Im going to keep my job part time to have stable income. Mentally, I need to reflect, meditate, heal my own stress. If she moved on by then, then it was meant to be as long as she is happy.

[ohsohappy]

Yep, move on. Don't bother, you're not getting yourself anywhere but more miserable. The relationship has run it's course, stop trying to get back on. You'll be fine. :) Good luck.

[rubberband]

You know what guys, you guys are right about focusing on improving myself. But I don't agree that I have to move on. I know I caused her pain and I am letting her decide what she wants to do. But I believe I do not have to sacrifice our relationship yet just to change. That would be as if I abandoned her. I will improve while I wait because she told me she needs time. Waiting is the least I can do for her. I hope she will come back because I really care about her and I do not want to end our story like this. If she returns, then we have just made a really big accomplishment together and a strong foundation we can look back at. If she moves on, then it was never meant to be but at least I tried my best.

[friend4u178]

You move on to stop yourself wallowing with False hope , that just slows down the healing process.

If she does decide to come back once you've moved on you'll then be able to decide whether it's right to get back together with your head and not your heart .