[ehwardsj]

I am 37 years ols and have been with my wife for 15 years, in which we have a twelve year old and a 2 and 1/2 year old. A few years ago we were summoned with a request for paternity on a boy born in 1994. I had a one night stand and apparently conceived a child. The mother of this boy waited 12 years to tell me the kid existed and automatically in the state of Florida was awarded 2 1/2 years back child support based on the pay I was making at the time she filed (which was way more than I ever made before or will ever make again) I was laid off after one year of paying 450.00 a month and continued paying $450 a month until this month because I finally was awarded a reduction. The child gets money from the guy who he calls dad who he was told was his dad all these years and that is who he goes and visits. His mom has remarried once again and is about what she can get and from who. The only thing they want is financial no visitation was ordered, and she agreed for us to give her $10,000 to relinquish my rights and she put that in writing, and then when we went to court she said $5000 lump sum. She is putting a price on this child and I have two children who are going without why she gets everyhting please help.

[Fr_Chuck]

I don't believe any court will even allow it, Also in most states including Florida, even if you give up your rights, you can still be obligated to pay child support.

Next of course HER support order does not say anything about visits, that is what you have to file for. Why have you not filed for visits so far when you went back for a reduction.

And the reduction should have went back to the date your pay changed,

May I guess ( you don't have an attorney and are trying to do this yourself?? ) My guess your attempting to save a few 1000 dollars has cost you a lot more in payments most likely.

But I don't believe this is even legal, to pay for your rights to be given away, and my opinion the judge would not even allow it anyway.

[ScottGem]

As noted you can't give up your rights, only a court can terminate rights. Courts are very reluctant to do so, and they will never do so just to let a parent out of paying support.

If you had read the sticky note at the top of this forum that addresses this issue you would have known that.

I also think you are getting incorrect advice about the law. Child support starts from when the custodial parent files for support. There is no automatic retroactive support. Its possible she filed 2.5 years before they could find you so support was back dated to when she filed.

It also sounds like you didn't fight this in court. Support would only be ordered on income data supplied by the plaintiff, if you didn't produce your own records. Did you ever go to court and show your tax returns? Did you ever bother to file for visitation? As soon as you were declared the legal parent by the paternity test, you should have done so.

Could it be the person the child calls daddy adopted him? Do you have anything in writing that shows she offered to let you out of support for a lump sum.

If you go into court and show proof that she tried to get a lump sum to relinquish rights, the courts may not look favorably on her.

[Synnen]

Trying to get/give a lump sum for terminating parental rights is called "baby selling" (even if the child is 12!).

Pretty much the ONLY way you are going to get out of child support is if she has someone else who wants to adopt the child.

Start going after visitation. Get involved in your child's life. Make life interesting for her.

It's a VERY expensive way to learn to keep your pants on, though... If you don't currently have a lawyer, GET ONE. You will lose every time in court without one.