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godess75 · Dec 7, 2009, 09:57 AM

My Son and his Common law wife were in an 18 year relationship.Very unhealthy one,they share an 8 year old son.They fought continuously and disrespected each other,was obvlious there was no love there.Now that it is over,she has left,it has come out that A) he was taking sex from her without her consent and belittling her and namecalling her B)he found out she was online having an affair for a year and has proof of such i.e pics,emails,he had a private investagator involved.He is so furious he wants to take sole custody as she was out messing around,she says he forced her out with the way he treated her,now he is going to take her to court with all his pics and proof and take sole custody based on the fact she was lying and cheating for so so long,can he win?

excon · Dec 7, 2009, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by godess75

and take sole custody based on the fact she was lying and cheating for so so long,can he win?

Hello g:

Nahhh. The courts aren't interested in helping your son get even... Custody will be awarded based upon the best interests of the child. Frankly, using his son as a weapon won't show the judge that HE'S the better parent.

excon

this8384 · Dec 7, 2009, 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by godess75

My Son and his Common law wife were in an 18 year relationship.Very unhealthy one,they share an 8 year old son.They fought continuously and disrespected eachother,was obvlious there was no love there.Now that it is over,she has left,it has come out that A) he was taking sex from her without her consent and belittling her and namecalling her B)he found out she was online having an affair for a year and has proof of such i.e pics,emails,he had a private investagator involved.He is so furious he wants to take sole custody as she was out messing around,she says he forced her out with the way he treated her,now he is going to take her to court with all his pics and proof and take sole custody based on the fact she was lying and cheating for so so long,can he win?

As excon said, the courts don't care about adultery. They've heard it all - he cheated on me, she cheated on me, we cheated on each other, etc. It doesn't matter. Someone can have the worst morals in the world and still be an amazing parent. Your son will not win sole custody because his wife cheated.

I don't understand the "he was taking sex from her without her consent." Are you saying he raped her and she stayed with him? Why didn't she report it?

cdad · Dec 7, 2009, 03:41 PM

What state is this ? Most states don't have common law anymore nor do you have to have actual grounds for divorce. Also I agree with the others and unless its relevant to the courts bringing up that stuff isn't going to gain him any points at all. Some states do allow it but she may have grounds for retort as in alienation of affection. DO NOT allow him to use the child as a pawn not say anything bad about the mother in front of the child. If he can't control his temper then he's in for big surprises. Also this line bothers me the most out of your entire statement.
( quote ) A) he was taking sex from her without her consent ( end quote )

That's what most civil people call rape. At least by its legal definition. Since he has admitted doing that he may have his head served on a platter by a judge and face possible prison time.