[criffy]

I had a relationship with a co-worker for about a year (I know bad idea). He broke things off and immediately started seeing another co-worker, in fact my woman's intuition tells me there was some overlap. They work very closely together, he works on her projects.

About a month after he broke things off, he calls and starts saying he valued our friendship and wants to be friends. I had been keeping my distance from him, trying to de-attach myself and move on. When he said that I asked "That's why you're calling me?" His reply was "no, there's something else, I wanted you to hear it from me before you heard it from anyone else, you've suspected it and there is something going on between me and what's her name." I was floored. I called him a not so nice name and then told him to never speak to me again and hung up. He texted me and said that he was really, really sorry and that he didn't expect me to ever forgive him. That last part still haunts me and it's been almost 3 months since that text.

So anyway, work is hell, I have to see them in the office every day. I don't speak to either one. Oh yeah, she broke up with her live in BF to be with him too. I'm really struggling with how to deal with the situation. His friend told me he hopes that I find "peace" with my ex. What the hell does that mean?

I am really trying to move on, but seeing them is a constant reminder of someone doing a really ty thing to me (lying, cheating, deceiving). For some reason, and I can't explain it, I feel like he would want to be friends someday. I can't even consider the possibility. I believe friendship is based on action, and he certainly didn't act like a friend to me, am I just being stubborn or letting pride get in the way? I have remained friends with all my previous boyfriends. Any tips on how to deal with this situation would be appreciated. I am looking for a new job, but also want to make sure that I am not running away...

[friend4u178]

I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you feel , not a good idea to be friends while there are still some feelings there.

Maybe down the track and that's only if you think you can forgive him , if not it's his loss.
Good Luck!

[Fr_Chuck]

I am going to book mark this post as an example to the 1000's of people who come here wanting to date, or have affairs or more with people they work with.

This is exactly why it is a bad idea

[Yosomoton213]

You have no obligation to this man to be your friend. He sees you as a good woman. However, he lied and deceived you. Definitely not traits to have even in a "friend". I am in the same position as you, with my ex constantly hounding me to be friends. They want to keep you around, because we didn't really mess up the relationship, they did by cheating and lying to us. It might be a way to make them feel less guilty, or some people even like "collecting" their exes for power or self-satisfaction. It is a sick thing.

As for finding a new job, it's not running away. You have to look after yourself first. And, you have learned a valuable lesson to use extreme caution when pursuing workplace relationships.

[Yosomoton213]

And honestly, if he cheated on you, and the woman cheated on her boyfriend, chances are their relationship isn't on steady ground either. Consider yourself lucky that you got out.