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domsmommy · Dec 6, 2009, 04:52 PM

Me and my sons father have been separated since march of 09. Since then he has seen him less then 10 times. He was physically mentally and emotionally abusive to me for even up to a few months after the separation. I left because he physically hurt me right in front of our at the time 8 month old (now 16 months old) baby. I found out that he was fooling around behind my back and he now has multiple domestic violence charges from her and drug possession and theft and many others that were harmful to others. He now only sees the baby once a month to every other month. Whenever I ask him why he doesn't see him he says he's got too much going on and I know its because of his relationship with this other female that he now abuses. She has called me a few times and told me about a few abusive things he has done to my son. Well in June of 09 I found out that he was going to pick up my son and run away to another state with him. At the time I was still homeless from the break up back in April. So in June I signed guardianship over to a mutual family friend so that we would still both beable to see the baby. He doesn't really see him. In July the guardianship was granted. I moved to nc after I got a phone call from him threatening my life and I called the police and all they did was told him never to call my phone again. But I knew he meant it. I moved and now live with my soon to be husband. He is a lance corpral in the United States Marine Corps, we have a 3 bedroom house, and plenty of room and love for my son.

This all happened in the state of nh and like I said before I now live in nc. I talk to my son on the phone every day. I go home every holiday to visit him. I want soul custody of my son and I want to move him to nc with me. I just want to know my chances.

ScottGem · Dec 6, 2009, 04:59 PM

I would say you stand a good chance of getting sole physical custody or maybe restricted visitation for him. With his history of domestic violence and drug use I doubt if he can contest custody.

I would strongly suggest getting a lawyer. You will probably have to file in NH.

domsmommy · Dec 6, 2009, 05:01 PM

You I am just worried that they will look down on me for moving out of state even if it was in fear of my own life I honestly believe he has a chance at a better and happier life down here with me since he already knows my fiancé better then his own father

ScottGem · Dec 6, 2009, 05:13 PM

If you had moved WITH the child and without permission of the father, that would be looked on negatively. But since you left the child with someone you trusted and you explain to the court that yoyu moved because you feared for your life and to establish a home you could bring the child to, I doubt if it would be an issue,

cdad · Dec 6, 2009, 05:23 PM

What has me wondering is that it seems that you have already given up your child and if your not careful he can get full custody no problem at this point. Another thing is that you didn't mention child support anywhere. Have you been paying child support ?

domsmommy · Dec 6, 2009, 07:39 PM

I do what I can from April to August I gave them money every week but not in the last couple of months because I haven't had a job but when I do have the extra money I have bought a few things he needed but his dad on the other hand has not bought anything nothing at all other then 1 toy and 2 outfits but those were his birthday presents I have still bought most of his shoes and cups and some cloths and I have bought diapers and wipes and before they got wick I used to help with formula... one time the friend that my son lives with called me and told me that she didn't have any money and my son needed formula but it was at the end of the week I didn't have the money so I called his dad and he said he wouldn't give me the money because he had formula at his house so I asked if I could have that and he said no and told me to find my own way to take care MY kid and so I had to over draw my bank account

asking · Dec 6, 2009, 08:04 PM

Keep a record of everything he says and does that is relevant. Write down times and dates. If someone else tells you something, say who it was and on what day they said. I know this is a lot of work, but it will help you.

And find a lawyer soon. You need legal help to make sure this gets sorted out. I agree with Scott Gem that you SHOULD be able to have your son back with you, but things don't always go right when there is an abusive spouse involved.

And if you don't think the lawyer is taking you seriously about your ex, find another one. I had a abusive ex husband and met with a lawyer who just didn't get it. She kept joking that he was a "pussycat," which he was not. I found someone else.

basketballlover · Dec 6, 2009, 08:55 PM

You have a very good chance of winning. The courts always look at the safety of the child and it sounds like you would provide a very stable environment. The father, with his past, doesn't really stand a chance.

cdad · Dec 6, 2009, 09:10 PM

Originally Posted by basketballlover

you have a very good chance of winning. the courts always look at the safety of the child and it sounds like you would provide a very stable environment. the father, with his past, doesnt really stand a chance.

You can't predict the OP's chances at this time because they don't have current custody of the child. You need to be more careful because this is a law board and its very hard to predict any outcome. In a case like this its still a coin flip as far as the law is concerned.