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dverg651 · Dec 6, 2009, 09:02 AM

I have this potential great girl to be with. She has all the qualities that I like and that I can appreciate, the problem is that her last ex boyfriend messed her so bad, that she says she has no heart for guys, but she has told me that she does have feelings for me, but she doesn't want a boyfriend and that she wants to focus on her

redhed35 · Dec 6, 2009, 09:04 AM

Ill try and translate for you...

She's not that into you.

She does not want a relationship.

She wants to be single.

She is still hurt over her last relationship.

My advice,move on... give her lots of time and in the meantime you go out and enjoy your life,don't wait for her,she may never choose you.

amicon · Dec 6, 2009, 09:18 AM

She's still not over her ex, she doesn't want a relationship right now and she's honest with you by letting you know this rather then leading you on.
It's just not happening so date others and make new friends.

Devorameira · Dec 6, 2009, 11:54 AM

I think she's still in a lot of pain from her last relationship. Right now she doesn't want or need another romantic partner. It'd be best for you to back off and let her go through the recovery process on her own.

9Lives · Dec 6, 2009, 12:11 PM

EVERYTHING everyone is saying is true true true... leave her alone

itried · Dec 6, 2009, 01:48 PM

Here's another perspective,

She may in fact have feelings for you but the timing just isn't right for her right now. This is a natural feeling that comes to people after breakups and is actually quite common. Trying to force a relationship with someone who isn't in the proper frame of mind to commit to all the crap that comes with a relationship will end in a disaster. Maybe she doesn't want to be with you because she knows that she may in fact end up ditching you because the burden and responsibility of being with someone is not something she wants to deal with at the present time and she'd rather be with someone who she doesn't have to feel responsible for (i.e. a person she doesn't have feelings for).

If I were you, I'd just give her space and not try to force yourself on her. Your feelings for her are irrelevant. Just let life take it's course and maybe in the future the two of you may get another crack at it.

Speaking from experience, in the past I would avoid relationships with girls that I actually really, really liked based solely on the fact that I wasn't in the mindset to be in a relationship. Instead I would spend time with girls I didn't want anything but a casual, carefree, non-committal relationship from. This could be where she is coming from so just let her do what she feels is best for her.

This is all just conjecture, anyway. Just respect her wishes and focus on yourself and what's best for you, going forward.

friend4u178 · Dec 6, 2009, 03:17 PM

It's her way of telling you she isn't as into you as you are to her , saying it this way she's just letting you down lightly not wanting to hurt your feelings.

sabrewolfe · Dec 6, 2009, 04:33 PM

She wants to focus on herself, not you or anyone else. Move on.

Stringer · Dec 6, 2009, 05:59 PM

Agreed, a big 'warning sign!' That's what this is in reality for whatever reason, old hurts or not into you... both say 'leave it alone now.'

Stringer

jmw0713 · Dec 7, 2009, 01:58 PM

Don't waste your time if you want anything more than friends.

slapshot_oi · Dec 7, 2009, 03:29 PM

Stay away from her. Even if she does date you, you'll just be a rebound.

I agree with everyone, she's probably not into you. And the reason why this girl may not be into you is because you don't resemble her ex in any way, shape, or form. So, you can find consolation in the high probability that her judgement is biased.