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Stinker10 · Dec 6, 2009, 05:08 AM

I'm deeply in love with a woman. We're both in unhappy relationships. We have NOT cheated sexually on our partners - and would not do so until those relationships were totally consigned to history. We planned to leave our partners anyway before we met. We get on so well. I think she's the most beautiful and lovely woman in the world, she tells me she fancies me loads. We feel so natural chatting together. Some months ago we said we would be together soon. Now she has pulled back. She says she loves me lots and we get on so well. But she says the time is wrong. She initially started ignoring my texts, now she replies. She stopped seeing me for a time, now we meet up for a drink and chat every couple of weeks. Whenever we see each other, we break into huge sincere smiles and the conversation flows. When I ask her what the problem is with us getting together, she says, 'I'm not saying no, just not at the moment. Who knows what the future holds.' When I ask her to tell me how she really feels, she won't tell me she is going to be with me, she won't say she isn't. I feel sure she feels the same about me as I do about her, but how do I persuade her to move on with our relationship? I know some people will say get over her or she's stringing me along - but when you're in love and you believe that person loves you too, you don't want to see the relationship destroyed, particularly without a logical explanation.

amicon · Dec 6, 2009, 05:32 AM

If your own relationship is unhappy how come you don't end it? You've both been cheating emotionally on your partners. Logically speaking her feelings have changed and you need to accept that. You can't force feelings. Sort your own relationship out,leave if you think you should then heal from the breakup before you get involved with someone else.

redhed35 · Dec 6, 2009, 06:56 AM

Had to spread the rep amicon...

Here's some logic for you.

1. your both cheating,weather you like it or not.

2. you both being unfair to your partners.

3. she's not leaving... if this connection was so strong,she would have done it by now.

4. I suspect she likes the thrill of meeting and talking to you,you boost her ego.

5. you all ready know the answer to this,as stated in the last 3 lines of your post.