[rediswow]

About a year and a half ago I went through a break up with my ex, and my friend was there through the whole thing. A couple months later he want through his own break up and I made sure I was there for him. Are friendship got stronger and we got closer. He is my one and only true friend. A month later something's were said to me from other people and I read something's that were sent from him to someone else. I'm not big on lies from what my ex did and he knew that so I outed him and stopped talking to him. A couple months went by and I started to really miss him, I didn't have my shoulder to cry on anymore. I wanted him back (or at least a closer, some questions answered) So I contacted him and we talked it out it was all a misunderstanding. We are now talking everyday and joking around like we use to, but something changed. My feelings for him are stronger. I always say to myself I wish all guys could be like him, but I just want him. I'm afraid that if I tell him and he doesn't feel the same that it will change are friendship and I don't want to lose him, and I am not sure if its to soon to tell him when we just started talking again. Can anyone help me? We talk all day every day through the computer or the phone. We hang out when ever we get a chance. He's 22 I'm 19, We use to work together but now he's back in school and I take online classes. We have a ton in common. He's always there for me. I'm afraid to tell him because I don't want to lose him.

[talaniman]

Then don't tell him anything at all. Maybe backing off and being sure of your own feelings may help, even expanding your social life can help you reach a conclusion.

Just a question, you do have a social life that makes you happy without him don't you?

If not then you really need to know the attractions, and feelings you have are to focused on him, because that's the only outlet you have, and have come to depend on him to be happy with yourself, and your life.

That's why I asked the question. So you can evaluate your circumstances in a honest way.

[jaime90]

The last thing you want is to realize in a couple of months that this guy was just the rebound- he was there for you and you 'fell in love.' Take things a little slower and think realistically- not with your feelings.

If your closeness with this guy is based solely on talking to each other a lot, hanging out all the time, and having a lot in common, your relationship will not work. You need to go into it with true, committed, love... Not the feeling love, the choice to love. (those "in love" feelings do not usually last more than 2 years, and neither will your relationship unless you base it on commitment, not 'feelings and emotions'.)

There is nothing wrong with loving your best friend (that's a good foundation to build a relationship on.) But another good foundation is guarding yourself from going too fast. Slow down. If you're in doubt about how he feels, ask him. Communicate. Practice these things that are vital to a healthy relationship. For the time being, be his friend and learn as much as you can about him. If in a couple months you both discover you have feelings for each other, you can take another step- but until you know if he feels the same (you can find out by ASKING him,) you should keep it at friendship level.