[Alty]

A few things you should know if you have a boy, or a man. ;)

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

[Unknown008]

Wow! I'm speechless...

[Just Dahlia]

And it's all so true!:)
Especially the last line!:rolleyes:

[Unknown008]

Be kind to your mama! :)

I would have loved to have a water bed! But not break it :eek:
I didn't know what was Clorox... had to Google.

I prefer not to mention the others most of which I didn't have the 'ingredients' to make them possible.

[Catsmine]

#13 was on Mythbusters. They ended up using cornstarch. With cornstarch, you CAN!

[Synnen]

Betcha #14 was the same whether it was jello or corn starch, though.

[excon]

Hi alty:

I loved it.

excon

[spitvenom]

My parents didn't get ceiling fans until I moved out :(

[earl237]

Brings back memories of my younger days!

[jmjoseph]

With my two boys I can relate.

Here are a few more from first hand experience( in the last month).

It takes 16 days for a US quarter to pass through a seven year old "magician", top to bottom.
Turtles don't like M&Ms.
Kittens don't like rectal exams done with a Q-tip.
As I sit here with blue polka dotted Fruit of the Looms, kids don't check their pockets for ink pens.
Tractors don't run on water.

And mothers are special, and I can't wait for one in particular to get in from Europe.

[KC13]

80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Hogwash! Most men know that the store-brand bleach is cheaper.

[jmjoseph]

Hogwash! Most men know that the store-brand bleach is cheaper.

I thought that stuff was half water.

We need something that will take out Georgia Red Clay Georgia Red Clay | Georgia NRCS

No, our carpet isn't white.

[KC13]

We need something that will take out Georgia Red Clay.

A Bobcat or 'dozer should do the trick.

[jmjoseph]

A Bobcat or 'dozer should do the trick.

I wish I had a bulldozer.

Dear Santa, If you are a member...

[adam_89]

That was some pretty crazy stuff. Some of the things I threw in the fan when I was little... I still do it at my house when I am bored and nobody is around. Something little like a sock. I really was considering trying the clorox and brake fluid thing. Has anyone heard of the works bomb?

[J_9]

From experience...

1) Ceiling fans make great launchers for paper airplanes
2) The dog's water bowl is a great place to rinse your feet in the summer after the grass is cut.
3) Vomiting out of your window onto your sister's car so your parents don't know you are wasted WILL ruin the paint job.
4) Giving a cat toothpaste will make them foam at the mouth.

[KC13]

Has anyone heard of the works bomb?

Don't go there... big bro'... stick to potato cannons... :D

[albear]

When I read number 8, my thoughts were, no idea what clorox is but I must try that.

Then I read 25 :(

[Alty]

From experience....

1) Ceiling fans make great launchers for paper airplanes
2) The dog's water bowl is a great place to rinse your feet in the summer after the grass is cut.
3) Vomiting out of your window onto your sister's car so your parents don't know you are wasted WILL ruin the paint job.
4) Giving a cat toothpaste will make them foam at the mouth.

5) Venus fly traps do not like broccoli any more then you do.
6) Putting sand in the fish tank, so that Goldie will feel like he's in the ocean, doesn't work.
7) Towels cannot be flushed down a regular household toilet.
8) Jumping on the bed while the ceiling fan is on is a bad idea.
9) A dog wearing a cape cannot fly, neither can a rabbit. ;)
10) Hiding in the dryer and jumping out at your mother when she comes in to do laundry will get you a black eye.
11) Peeing on the outdoor plants during the summer is not acceptable.

[Unknown008]

11) Peeing on the outdoor plants during the summer is not acceptable.

I always thought that they got more nutrients from the nitrogen in the pee? :p