[jaime90]

Since my fiancé is in the military, I have experienced being alone for a year without him, I know how to handle a long-distance relationship, and how to survive on my own without him around for months at a time.

But since he has been home for the past year or so, and we have grown closer together, and I find it hard to let him go. A year ago I was fine for 2 weeks without him while he was in California, and now, I miss him terribly after he is gone for 2 days.

I know I can handle a military lifestyle since I have done so in the past (3 months of letter writing 3 months of no contact, and 6 months of long-distance with 2 phone calls a week) and have been with my one and only for 3 years- 2 of which he has spent in the military.

We are soon to be married and our pastor is suggesting that he move out of our apartment and sleep somewhere else at night in order to protect us from temptations- we've already opened the door so temptation is a big deal, and to keep our integrity as Christians as pure as possible. Our pastor will not marry us, unless my fiancé is no longer living, or sleeping in the apartment. He has found a friend across town who is letting him sleep at his place at night.

I am having problems seeing him leave at night. I have always been very introverted and sensitive. This makes me feel abandoned, lonely, and very scared to be by myself in an apartment, (I grew up with 4 siblings, and have shared a room with my twin sister up until a year ago when I moved out, and even then, I was staying with my aunt and uncle, so sleeping alone in an apartment is a new concept to me.)

My fiancé reassures me before he leaves that he is not "leaving" me, I am not abandoned, and him leaving does not mean that he doesn't love me. I can handle him leaving, but not without these feelings, even though he makes it a point to tell me otherwise. Is there any way I can let go of these feelings of being abandoned at night?

[redhed35]

Hey jamie... would it be possible to get a room mate? Maybe for a while?

[jaime90]

My sister actually stayed for a couple weeks and it helped me fall asleep better. I don't have many female friends though is the problem, and certainly none that are ready to move out. I'm only 19, so most of my friends aren't in the market for finding a roommate. I like the idea though!

[redhed35]

Perhaps there is someone in your church that could help... maybe your pastor could help match make a room mate for you,someone with similar interests... or an ad in your church?

[jaime90]

A good idea for sure. I'll look into it.