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LDEVRIES · Nov 21, 2009, 08:27 PM

My 19 month old son seems to cry and whine a lot. He's our only child and I feel like he doesn't know how to play independently. Most days are pretty revolved around playing, he's definitely not attention starved but he almost acts like he is. How do my husband and I get a little time for making dinner, laundry etc... without having a whiny kid at our feet all the time?

QLP · Nov 28, 2009, 05:53 PM

Try giving him a specific activity to do that really interests him and be really involved in getting him started then tell him you have to go make dinner but you would really like to see/hear about what he has been doing afterwards. e.g sit playing with toy cars with him then tell him he needs to carry on by himself a while and all the cars want a turn at being driven and then need to be parked up together - depends on what he likes but the idea is to give him some direction in what to do. Of course if he finds himself doing his own thing happily and enjoying it rather than following your suggestion that's fine.

When he wants to tell you or show you what he has been doing take a real interest in it and give as much attention as possible then gently lead him back into continuing alone if you need more time for your jobs. He might not play alone long at first but if you are really patient and keep encouraging him it should improve in time.

Also, if there are jobs to be done think about letting him help. Children of that age can help put laundry in the machine with supervision, can find things for you while you cook such as a big spoon for stirring, a cloth for wiping, some vegetable for peeling etc - this way he will feel involved and will be learning while you are telling him what you need and why.

Hope this helps.

rosemcs · Nov 29, 2009, 09:23 PM

I put on a little video such as Elmo, Baby Van Gough, or an Alphabet Song. It keeps mine occupied, if even for 20 minutes. So I can get a few chores done... like emptying the dishwasher w/o her being near it.

Maybe you and your husband can take turns taking her on an errand or playing with her so someone can get something done... if even in short intervals. The easiest is to really develop a schedule so that you can count on each other to get the domestic chores done in time. It really is teamwork!

Another idea is to hire a little neighborhood friend that could come in the home for an hour everyday and play (distract) the baby while you are there.