|
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Nov 28, 2009, 03:37 PM
|
|
How am I meant to cope?
The only person I have in my life (mum) is terminally ill and dying. I suffer from depression and am trying to support my mum but don't feel like I am doing a very good job of it. I get resentful, angry and bitter. I have no personal support myself, no friends, no family. I have never worked due to past and present problems, I am 40 years old. I have no motivation, no self esteem and feel like a complete waste of space. I live in a room and feel totally alone and isolated. I no longer drink or smoke. How can I change my life for the better, where can I go to meet people when I don't even have the motivation to get out of bed unless I have an appointment to go to? Everything I have tried (library, gym, courses) holds no interest for me. How DO you motivate yourself?
|
|
|
Senior Member
|
|
Nov 28, 2009, 04:28 PM
|
|
How can you change your life for the better..
I no longer drink or smoke.
^^^You've already made a good start with that. Those are habits that are very hard to drop so this should be cake for you.
If you are looking for motivation I think this is a great example of how to get it http://www.ee.bgu.ac.il/~avivze/Motivation.pdf
Have you tried counseling and do you care for your mom on your own or do you have help with her?
|
|
|
Ultra Member
|
|
Nov 28, 2009, 05:32 PM
|
|
You are obviously depressed, but you have reason to be with everything that's been going on in your life. Your life has been a nightmare lately. With depression it's normal to have a loss of interest in normal activities. When you're depressed it seems to delete all of the motivation you ever had.
Don't let it get any worse - You really should talk to a doctor. You may need some therapy and anti-depressants. They can get you feeling better and back on tract.
Good luck!
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Nov 29, 2009, 05:20 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by Devorameira
You are obviously depressed, but you have reason to be with everything that's been going on in your life. Your life has been a nightmare lately. With depression it's normal to have a loss of interest in normal activities. When you're depressed it seems to delete all of the motivation you ever had.
Don't let it get any worse - You really should talk to a doctor. You may need some therapy and anti-depressants. They can get you feeling better and back on tract.
Good luck!
I was on anti depressants (numerous different ones) for ten years, they helped in the beginning but after ten years they turned me into a 'zombie'. They become addictive and I ended up reliant on them and what a struggle it was to get off them. All they actually do is mask the problem which is all very good for the Dr as it makes their job easier but no good to me! If I wanted to wear a mask then I would join the circus. I am in counselling and it feels like I can talk till I am 'blue in the face' but what good is this when it doesn't change anything in my life.
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Nov 29, 2009, 05:25 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by nymphetamine
How can you change your life for the better..
^^^You've already made a good start with that. Those are habits that are very hard to drop so this should be cake for you.
If you are looking for motivation I think this is a great example of how to get it http://www.ee.bgu.ac.il/~avivze/Motivation.pdf
Have you tried counseling and do you care for your mom on your own or do you have help with her?
I am in counselling, talking does not change anything! I don't have any help with mum because there is no-one. My brother emigrated to Canada and told me to "look after mum, I have gone" Mum won't let me get social services involved.
|
|
|
Senior Member
|
|
Nov 30, 2009, 08:44 AM
|
|
Talking may not change things but at least you are able to get some things off your chest when you do. You have to be the one willing to go through the steps to make the change happen
Speak to your mom exactly about how you are feeling. Maybe after hearing what you have to say she would agree to letting you get help from else where.
There are places she can go. Like a nursing home maybe. They are not all bad as the media likes to blow them up to be.
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Nov 30, 2009, 10:00 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by nymphetamine
Talking may not change things but at least you are able to get some things off your chest when you do. You have to be the one willing to go through the steps to make the change happen
Speak to your mom exactly about how you are feeling. Maybe after hearing what you have to say she would agree to letting you get help from else where.
There are places she can go. like a nursing home maybe. They are not all bad as the media likes to blow them up to be.
I have spoken to mum on onumerous occasions about home help and nursing homes. She says she doesn't want 'strangers' in her house and that she doesn't want to go into a home because they will take all her money off her and that she won't be in control of her own pain relief medication (which I can totally empathize with). This puts an awful lot of pressure on me to try to support her. It wouldn't be so bad if I had some kind of personal support myself but I have none whatsoever and the added difficulty of depression makes things unberabally difficult.
|
|
Question Tools |
Search this Question |
|
|
Add your answer here.
Check out some similar questions!
Are we meant to be
[ 14 Answers ]
My boyfriend is very self centered, he is always talking about himself and he doesn't take others feelings into consideration before he says things, sometimes saying hurtful things. I have been dating him for 10 months now, he is 21 I am 27. So there's an age difference too. He is very critical of...
What am I meant to do?
[ 6 Answers ]
hey, my x and I have been broken up for about 7 months now (she broke up with me) and its been kind of confusing. Since then we have been on and off. Her saying she loves and so on. But can't be back together. To fill you in on some details a few of her friends have died this past year. I...
Meant to be?
[ 1 Answers ]
I really like this guy that goes to a diff. school. He told my best friend he liked me, but wanted to get to know me better before he asked me out. But we never talk. Sometime in October he told her that he would ask me out if we went to the same school! He says I'm really "hott" and stuff, but I...
He's been meant to me
[ 3 Answers ]
I need all the advice I can get. This guy I'm going to call nick is driving me insane. I love him and he doesn't even like me. He knows how I feel and doesn't seem to care. I have tried to talk to him about it but he has seemed kind of distant lately. So I don't know what to do. He is also being a...
View more questions
Search
|