[datinganew]

Technically she's a woman but I say girl because of the games she's playing.

I know trying to understand woman (and men) in general is a futile effort but humor me. :P

I was seeing this woman for about 2 1/2 months. We had been chatting online for about 6 months previous to meeting in person so I thought I knew her pretty well. We live in different cities so I'd drive up to her place every weekend and sometimes during the week. I'm an honest normal guy and her trust in me was strong enough that she felt comfortable with me around her 2 year old son.

A few weeks back I was over at her place and I took a joke the wrong way and got a little upset. No argument, just my feelings were a little hurt. She got upset at me for being upset saying it was just a joke. She's partially right in that I should have been able to take the joke and I'm partially right for being allowed to make a mistake and take things the wrong way at times. I apologized for getting upset... she didn't. Whatever.. issue over.

I thought it was over but I guess it upset her and she starts to pull away. I sense this after suggesting plans and her being suddenly too busy for anything. Through texting I ask her if we're OK. I ask her if I can come up, she says no and then says that we'll talk later on MSN.

Having a feeling that the talk is coming I decide that I want to hear this in person. I figured our relationship and friendship warranted me this respect. So I drive up anyway.

I get there and text her that I'm here to talk. She says I'm freaking her out and to leave so I drive home.

I know it was a mistake to drive up after she specifically told me no. I didn't respect her space. At the same time though I thought I deserved to get the talk in person.

I let a few days pass and then end up getting the talk on MSN. She says she doesn't trust me and that she can't deal with someone who's sensitive like I am. It's not specifically stated but it's quite clear that "we" are done.

I haven't talked to her since that day and it's been a little over a week. I hear through mutual friends that she refers to me as her stalker and she's since moved on with another guy and then had that dissolve. I think this harsh stalker label is unfair but I take it seriously and it confirms my resolve to not communicate with her.

Yesterday I get 2 texts and an email saying that she misses talking to me and asking if I'm OK.

W T F?

Continuing the relathionship is laughable.. but even a friendship at this point? How could she possibly want to be friends with me if she thinks I'm a stalker?

[InfoJunkie4Life]

People can be harsh, and no species is known more for changing their mind than women. She had a problem with you. It may not be apparent, and you may never find out, but she rejected you. The stalker thing was just a little over the top.

Normally I would say that she knows she screwed up and is trying to reach out, but if that is her honest belief, where's the apology. I know apologies can be hard so don't write off this theory either.

What I personally think, from experience, is that she used a couple of little things, that shouldn't have been a big deal, in order to push you away. She had other reasons to not want to be with you, and thus has used something else to try to cover up what she really intended.

[Jake2008]

She was a busy girl during the time she was with you. My impression is that, it has only been a week since you had 'the talk', and she was probably looking for an excuse to dump you, and move on to the new boyfriend.

Maybe she had both of you dangling at the same time, and you showing up, who's to say he wasn't there or was on his way over.

She is a player, and you have been played. My advice to you is to consider the 'stalking' comment a joke, because it really is, and don't contact her.

[jaime90]

This isn't exactly a matter of figuring out this woman- you have already done most of the figuring of her out- and apparently it wasn't that difficult.
You know why she was upset that you over reacted about the joke: because the problem isn't her, it was you- you couldn't take the joke.

You know why she was angry about you showing up after she said no: because she said no, and you disregarded her feelings on the matter.

You know why she broke it off: she doesn't trust you and she believes you to be too sensitive.

The only thing you need to figure out is why she would text you after you broke up. This doesn't need any figuring out. If you don't want a relationship with her, there won't be. This one is not up to her, it's up to you. I suggest not contacting her. She said she wanted a break-up so do what she originally said and don't contact her. Like I said, this part isn't about you trying to figure her out and why she would do this, it's about you finding out what YOU want, and acting on that. Do you want to talk to her again, or not? It's up to you.