[vyperbyte]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year now and its been rough. Several times I have caught her flirting with other guys online and at one point was even in a relationship with a guy and the way I found out was she got drunk and while we were having sex she said that I'm the only one for her and she should stop looking for someone else. And within a few days I had all the details and even confronted the guy who she told that I was just her roommate. He said he wanted nothing to do with that after finding out she had lied to him. She told me that was it for her "cheating" and wouldn't do it again. Since then I have confronted her about 2 other occasions about her flirting with guys. Oh and on a side note she tells them I'm her friend and when I tell her to tell them the truth she says she won't because its none of their business.

Well a couple of months ago she went to Job Corp in Jersey (I live in NY where she was living with me in my parent's house... even longer story) I have been worried sick that she might cheat on me there. I found out tonight that she might have because last weekend when she came over (the second time since she's been gone) I put a keylogger on my computer while she was using it to get her email password because I had high suspicions (she wouldn't say I love you to me on the phone if she was with her friends and just other things that would seem suspicious). In doing so I was able to get her password for he email and I went and checked it, in her sent messages she has an email she sent to this guy who I knew, that's how she met him but I don't talk to him often since he was my ex girlfriend's stalker, about how she wants him to stop flirting and her be the only one for him. Well since then she has not talked to him because the first time she came to visit he was supposed to drive her to the train station so she could come see me and he never showed up so she had to walk. Now when she was here the key logger captured her side of the conversation they had over myspace and she wrote "He's not my ex anymore" which to me is weird cause I didn't think I was ever her ex if in fact its about me which I hope it is.

SO anyway, tonight she called me up and asked if I had called her (her phone is messed up and you can't see either screen but can still make and receive calls). I said no and asked what she was doing she said "oh nothin, just bored with some friends, we're eating strawberries with whip cream and chocolate syrup and just letting the fun happen", I wondered what she meant so I asked and she said they were just messing around with stuuf and she'll call me back later. So an hour goes by and I call her cause I just can't stand not knowing what is going on and she's back in her room and tells me what went on. It seems that the 5 of them (all girls) made out a bit, and "messed around". I asked her for specifics and she wouldn't tell me so then I asked her to answer questions like were you guys naked "no", was their touching going on "yes", was it under or over clothes "over", SO then she tells me they were topless and that made out. Then I find out that there was some mouth to breast action going on. Now I'm no prude, in fact I'm more horny then she likes me to be, and hearing this did in part turn me on. But the one thing that bothered me was that she let them do stuff to her breasts and touch her that I am not allowed to do to her.

She has never been with another female that I know of and when I have asked her about trying it she says no but there is always a hint of maybe which is fine with me. The problem I have is that she will let another girl do things to her I cannot and then when I asked her next time she comes over if I can she out right says "No." and when I asked her why not she says its different when a girl does it. But yet the times she has let me was only for a second or two because of how she feels about it which bugs me. When we have sex she doesn't even take off her bra. And when I want to touch her down below she only lets me for a second or not at all yet she complains we never have foreplay.

I have many mixed feelings about this because I have told her in the past while she has been there that I don't want her to mess around with anyone (and I have specified male and female just because I sense her curiosity which is now apparent) and she said she won't and that she only loves me.

I feel what she did is cheating and although I don't want to lose her I don't know what to do. I myself and a cheater, I have cheated on almost every girl I have been with because of my high sex drive. But she is the only one I have not cheated on, even after the online relationships and the flirting and me confronting her about it I have not cheated though I have had many opportunities specially since she has been away.

I just don't know what to do, I will call her tomorrow and try to discuss it more I am just hurt that these girls got to do stuff to her I am not allowed to. She even told me on the phone she had a hickey on her breast and yet when she was here last I tried to give her a hickey (be it a small one cause I know how she feels about them) and she almost busted my lip open smacking me in the mouth yet on the phone she giggled over the hickey on her breast.

Any input on this would help me try to straighten this out. Sorry for the wall of text.

[vyperbyte]

Oh and to add, to her it was just harmless fun cause they were all bored.

[amicon]

I'm going to be harsh,this is an extremely toxic relationship where a person who gets bored and thinks it's OK to mess around with whoever happens to be there.
A relationship without trust is no relationship. A relationship without proper communication is no relationship.
Do yourself a big favour and end this .

[JoeCanada76]

I am going to be harsher. You are on the other end of the coin. You have cheated on every girl friend. She is a cheater. You both know it.

Time to learn and grow and move on. Honestly this was not a relationship in the first place. This was not even a girlfriend. This person is a ----. You know it. You have been a ---- in the past and now you know how it feels to be on the other end of things.

It was all about the sex, that simple.

[bswc]

I wonder how you can stand with such situation aka. Girlfriend. I'm making a guessing either you're similar to her type or you're getting fooled and blinded by love. If you'd be given a case study on this, I think the guy should pretty much stay away from this girl. Try to look at a 3rd person view YOURSELF..

[talaniman]

You solve your problem by getting out of this situation all together, as its dysfunctional, and toxic, with too much drama, and suspicion. This isn't a healthy adult relationship, so why keep it going.

I find it interesting, given your cheating past, that now your being cheated on, and can't handle it. Maybe her drive is a great as yours was, you think?

[Fr_Chuck]

It is easy, she is going to keep cheating and having sex with anything that does not move faster than her.

But then you don't have much better resume on this.

So she is not going to change, you can either allow and put up with it or move on

[jmjoseph]

I'm going to be the harshest of all.
First off, how old are you both? I would guess very young.

This is pathetic! You install spy software on your computer? You ask her questions like"above the clothes, or below" After the first guy you talked to said that she didn't even admit your existence, you should have left. You said that you cannot stand to NOT know where she is, or who with.

You are jealous of girls touching her, but also turned on?

This is making me sick to my stomach.

You are a cheater, and you get what you give.

I think, if you are ready to have a grown up relationship(which I highly doubt), you need to find another girl.