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deb511 · Nov 27, 2009, 08:05 PM

Right now the state has custody of my 5 yr old grandson. He lives primarily with me his maternal grandmother and on the weekends with his paternal grandmother. His father is a recovering addict, his mother my daughter has bipolar disorder. She is now on her meds and has been pretty good for 3 or 4 months, and despartely wants her son back. The courts are pushing hard for permancy through adoption. I would like to have guardianship with the possibility of my daughter getting him back in 4 to 6 months. The DCF have given her several service plans , most of which are impossible to complete. They actually let one lapse for 4 months. The bond between my grandson and daughter has been damaged,no unsurpervised visits and only twice a week. I understand that he needs protection, but I have moved my daughter closer to me, 10 min away, and she has aunts and uncles who can help her at any time. The courts are pushing for adoption by me or the other grandmother, which I feel is devasting. Any suggestions? Her dr. even states that she is capable to raise her child. Sometimes it takes a village. And we are all willing to help make sure she stays on her meds.

cdad · Nov 27, 2009, 09:13 PM

Then adopt the child and be willing to take responsibility for the child to its fullest. Then you can make your own rules once the adoption is final. You say its impossible for your daughter to complete what they are asking ? What is it that's so impossible that its not worth doing for her child ?

Fr_Chuck · Nov 27, 2009, 09:17 PM

Yes making excuses why she can't complete, if it was not possible they would not have it as a plan. Often it is a matter of choice of what is most important in ones life.

justcurious55 · Nov 27, 2009, 09:54 PM

Getting someone who is bipolar to stay on their meds is a real challenge. She's an adult. You can't make her. So what happens when she decides to stop taking her meds if she has her child back?

And what's reventing you from getting a guardianship? I would leave out the part about her getting her child back in four to six months. That's not a very long time. And having to go back and forth between homes will be even worse for the child then you either getting a guardianship and having it in place for a long term or adopting. At least if you have a guardianship or adoption the child can have a stable home and you can decide that you daughter can visit on your terms instead of the court dictating when and how.