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am3201993 · Nov 27, 2009, 04:01 PM

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I have aboyfriend but he lives not in my state how can I get him to come to my area? And how do I keep the magic alive?

justcurious55 · Nov 27, 2009, 09:42 PM

Well, how long have you two been together? How did you guys meet? Is this an online thing? Or have you two lived closer and been near each other in the past?

amicon · Nov 28, 2009, 01:22 AM

We need more details,please.

jaime90 · Nov 28, 2009, 01:35 PM

You don't have to "get him to come to your area." And it wouldn't be a good idea to try to get him to come over.

The first thing you can do is try to stay connected. Both of you can start reading a book, and read the same chapter every night, it is comforting to know that your boyfriend reads the same words you do before bedtime.

Call, send letters, talk, text, email. I don't understand how it could be difficult to "keep the magic alive" unless you're basing your relationship around each other's physical presence. I did a long-distance relationship for a year, and he was in the military so letters and 2 phone calls a week was our maximum amount of contact we could have. We had never even kissed before, and our relationship was only 3 months in before he left. Because he was away, our love grew even over a great distance. Now, we are sure that our love can span the entire world, as oppose to freaking out whenever he leaves town for a few days.

This can be good for your relationship- make the best of it instead of thinking long-distance is a bad thing.

(oh yeah, me and this guy have been together for almost 4 years and we're engaged to be married... long distance CAN work out, but it takes a lot of work- you need to be sure you both can handle it.)

Devorameira · Nov 28, 2009, 05:19 PM

Before you talk about having him come to your state, first talk to him regularly (text, e-mail, phone) to get to know him pretty well. After you really get to know him you may not want him in your state.

Give it time :)!

am3201993 · Jan 1, 2010, 04:21 PM

He broke up with me :'(

justcurious55 · Jan 1, 2010, 05:18 PM

Sorry to hear that. Sometimes, things just aren't meant to be

am3201993 · Jan 3, 2010, 08:12 PM

I don't know what to do my ex-boyfriend is going to ask me to marry him and I'm not sure if I want to say yes what should I do? I mean I like him but we never talk much any more so I don't really know what to do

Jake2008 · Jan 4, 2010, 06:05 AM

If you aren't sure if you want a marriage commitment, for heaven's sake, say no! You like him, as you say, but you never talk much- that does not even sound like a friendship to me.

I'd keep him as an ex.

amicon · Jan 4, 2010, 06:33 AM

Just because someone-ex or not-wants to marry you doesn't mean you have to accept their proposal-tell him no.

HistorianChick · Jan 4, 2010, 07:11 AM

Why is he your ex in the first place? There had to be a reason...

Just Dahlia · Jan 4, 2010, 11:42 AM

He is an ex for a reason.:rolleyes:
If you have any doubts, say no.

Why does he think you would say yes? And how do you know your ex is going to ask you? It sounds very strange.

Say 'no'

jaime90 · Jan 4, 2010, 12:28 PM

Marriage is a very intense thing, and it is for life. You can tell him no. If he broke up with you once he can do it again- do you want the next break up to be a divorce? Tell him no. You have a right to answer how you want.

HistorianChick · Jan 4, 2010, 07:04 PM

Do you have a reason to trust him? Has he shown you that he is committed to working on a relationship with you? Has he earned back your trust?

In a strong, dedicated relationship between two people committed to making their relationship work, getting over an affair is extremely difficult. Why would you even consider trusting someone who hasn't proven himself trustworthy?

In my opinion, NO. You should not trust him.

Just because he asks you to marry him doesn't mean that you have to accept.

HistorianChick · Jan 4, 2010, 07:11 PM

What question? "Will you marry me??"

I can't tell you your future - no one can. All I can say is that you are taking your chances of ruining your life with a man that hasn't proven himself faithful.

When you marry, you should marry because you want to spend the rest of your life committed to the person that completes you. That one person that you want to be with - and that person alone. You should be able to trust that person to be faithful to you, no matter whoever else comes along.

So, will you ever marry? I don't know. But, if you keep your chin up, your eyes on what makes you happy, keep working on fulfilling your own dreams, you'll be happy and content.

Life isn't about finding true love, it's about loving every moment that you're alive. Sometimes people get lucky and someone comes along that is just the right fit. Don't focus on finding someone, find what makes you fulfilled and keep doing that.

When you're content with who YOU are, you'll be ready to be a half to a successful, faithful, committed relationship.

Just Dahlia · Jan 4, 2010, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by HistorianChick

When you marry, you should marry because you want to spend the rest of your life committed to the person that completes you. That one person that you want to be with - and that person alone. You should be able to trust that person to be faithful to you, no matter whoever else comes along.

I agree but had to spread the rep..
Even when you have this one in a life time LOVE and everything is going to be perfect... sometimes it isn't... so you have to start totally committed and trusting and work on it. You sound like you can wait, please wait.:)

jaime90 · Jan 4, 2010, 09:28 PM

I think that you need to chill out with relationships. It seems like you keep jumping around.

I wish · Jan 5, 2010, 08:08 AM

OP is 16.

Slow down am3201993. You're only 16, you don't need to rush into anything. There's still so much ahead of you.

Focus on your studies and getting a good job for yourself.

amicon · Jan 5, 2010, 08:25 AM

That's good and keep working on your art-that's a great gift. Leave the boyfriend scene for a while and stay single.
The right guy's out there,no need to rush into things.

HistorianChick · Jan 5, 2010, 08:29 AM

You posted a question in which you said that your ex-boyfriend was going to ask you to marry him. I, and many others, answered your question in honesty and forthrightness.

I thought you were being sincere when asking about adult matters. Honestly, it makes me feel like I was being made fun of because of the serious answers I gave to your serious question.

After seeing all of these questions about ex boyfriends, school, and the fact that you're only 16, I truly hope that the answers that I, and many others, gave you will register.

Please focus on school, not boys. And please don't ask questions that you don't need answers to.