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dannid · Nov 27, 2009, 08:09 AM

OK so I was in a relationship for almost a month and for once in my life I felt as if I found my perfect match.he was everything I had always wanted in a guy yet at the same time it scarred me.Everything was just going to well and it felt as if it were too good to be true.so instead of me giving it a chance like I should have and going with the flow, I started arguments daily over nonsense I guess due to my fears because now when I look back I see that they were truly things I should not have gotten mad about.I said things I didn't men and about 3 days ago he got fed up.he told me that its best we be friends and that he couldn't handle the stress and that maybe he needed time away.when I realized I was losing him it immediately hit me and I knew I had to get him back.he mentioned that his feelings toward me hadn't changed and that he honestly didn't even know if he could be my friend.so I decided to back off and give him space but it is hard because I just wonder if doing so will result in him finding someone else. So I don't know what to do.he doesn't cll or text.not even a happy thanksgiving.however when I look on his web pages I see that he doesn't have a prob talking to other people.its as if he is avoiding me.I know deep down that I was wrong.but I have made a change.ive tried to tell him that but he just won't believe.I want him back but I don't see him coming back.so I guess my question is what to do.what to think about this situation:

I wish · Nov 27, 2009, 08:40 AM

The best thing for you right now is to go do your own thing and start the healing process. Learn from the past.

Don't drag out your pain and suffering by waiting around for him. He'll come back if he wants to. You can't force him to come back, it has to happen naturally.

quantiry · Nov 27, 2009, 09:10 AM

The world belongs to those who ask, you may have to give it time, Rome wasn't built overnight, but ask every once in a while, if he doesn't come back, remember, your best friends were strangers once, the love of your life could be out there somewhere, you just haven't met him, Also remember, if you change your behavior for the better, it will benefit you and those around you, but some one out there could love you just the way you are right now too.

jmjoseph · Nov 27, 2009, 09:26 AM

We learn from our mistakes."Almost a month" leads me to believe that it was less than a month. Twenty-something days? Come on. How can something that lasted for only a month, and was sabotaged by your admission, be so wonderful?

He is carrying on with his other friends because he has a life. He may be hurting on the inside and not be showing it, but because you started arguments over nothing as you say, he probably is glad he is alone for now. I suggest you learn from your mistakes, and go make yourself happy.

Good luck to you.

Devorameira · Nov 27, 2009, 09:44 AM

I think you need to move on for now. I wouldn't bug him - I'd go the "no contact" route. If it's meant to be - it will be.

You need to take a long hard look at yourself and find out what really causes your outbursts. When you get it all together, then maybe you can slowly attempt to rebuild your relationship. Just remember - he may not be the one. Mr. Right may still be out there looking for you.

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Love happens whether you want it to or not. Don't try to control it.

talaniman · Nov 27, 2009, 01:51 PM

So you screwed up, and lost a good thing, so I hope you learned a lesson, and leave him alone, so you don't sound desperate, and pathetic, or make things worse. It happens sometimes, so don't forget the lesson you should have learned, don't play silly games with the feelings of others.

He will let you know if he changes his mind, until then, you better regroup, and move on. He seems to have.

You do owe him an apology for your bad behavior, but don't expect much from it.

liz28 · Nov 27, 2009, 02:12 PM

For your own sanity stop looking at his webpage to see who he is taking to. I think you got too attached to race. This relationship only lasted for a month and he done moved on so you need to do the same.

Choke this up as a lesson learned and really learn from it. Learn to control yourself and accept this over. Time for you let go!

Fr_Chuck · Nov 27, 2009, 02:39 PM

So many things

1. a month is not long, it is hardly to a point of starting to date.

2. there is often no second chance, and to be honest in three days you have not had time to really have a earth shaking change, merely feeling the loss.

3. beyoun just telling them you were wrongand perhaps writing what you wrote here out for him,

4. in the end you move on

Alty · Nov 27, 2009, 03:00 PM

He's doing NC (no contact) and you should do the same.

As the others have said, one month is nothing. You barely know each other. Sadly, during that time you started fights and did everything you could to drive him away. It worked. He left.

Time to move on.

Good luck.

ninjajr92 · Nov 27, 2009, 10:26 PM

Don't beat yourself up, since it was only a month, it won't take long for you to get over him. I know from experience that it hurts, however don't try to win him back because it seems as though he has made up his mind. I'm sorry for your loss. Good luck.