Check out some similar questions!

amicon · Nov 26, 2009, 12:06 AM

I'm looking forward to your thread- ex-fiancee-who?
Do the NC thing bjohn, it works.

vanheart · Nov 26, 2009, 12:10 AM

Take it & run with it buddy. Withstand those urges. Delete her.

Cause it doesn't matter. Its over, done. She's your EX!

She no longer needs to know what your doing. Especially some as precious as healing. The very thing she caused.

She no longer deserves your courtesy, friendship or contact. FACT

Stop the madness.

bjohnrupp · Nov 26, 2009, 12:23 AM

Hey Amicon, Van heart, Tal man thanks a lot guys! I'd have to be dumb to go against what everyone's saying so I'm determined to do the NO CONTACT thing all the way now. She knows I'm a very nice guy and did literally EVERYTHING for her so she's taking advantage of the situation. I just REALLY hope she tries contacting me again because I want her to feel stupid when she NEVER gets a reply from me ever again.

vanheart · Nov 26, 2009, 12:28 AM

NC is for you not for her.
That's not the right reason.

I actually hope she never contacts you again.

bjohnrupp · Nov 26, 2009, 12:29 AM

Van I know its for me but I still want her to feel stupid !

amicon · Nov 26, 2009, 12:33 AM

Just look forward to the day when her stupidity will be of no consequence to you.

vanheart · Nov 26, 2009, 12:41 AM

How about now?

Her stupidity is in the past. Don't waste time that.

Your stupidity is worrying about her.

What revenge or karma?

You will be long gone by then.

C'mon.

Rhiannnonn · Nov 26, 2009, 03:25 AM

Originally Posted by bjohnrupp

van I know its for me but I still want her to feel stupid !

Sounds like your idea of "closure" is getting the last word. ~~ Think about it. You want her to send another message so that you get to show that maybe you won't be fooled again? This time you'll really not answer her. Uh-huh.

Ya' know, if I were you, I would really just be happy to not hear from her again. I don't think that you need the aggravation of having to deal with her at all. Worrying about who has the last word (at this point) is really pretty useless. All it's doing is contributing to your looking backwards. You want to look forwards.

Ok, you think that she won't get the point that you're done? Think about it. Not hearing from you because you've stuck a fork in it and called it done should be more than enough. Her type will eventually try contacting you again. Just don't look for anything from her. She's a bad penny and a bad penny always turns up. Proof, and you're really the only one needs it, will be if you really do not answer her. You have to stick to your guns and think of her as what she is: The past.

Rhiannnonn

bjohnrupp · Dec 5, 2009, 04:19 PM

So it was 3 weeks ago that my ex fiancé wanted to hang out with me and then blew me off. I sent the long text saying how she can't contact me anymore unless she wanted to hang out or get back together because it hurt too much talking to her and I told her I still had tons of feelings towards her.

A week later she sent the text saying how the week we spent on the cruise was one of the best weeks of her life. I texted her back saying how I missed her and every week with her was the best week of my life. We texted a while and then I told her to send a pic of her in her bikini (cuz she was on the beach) she never responded to that and now 2 weeks later I haven't heard from her at all.

I know the experts on here would say its good that she didn't contact me- it just sux because I always did like hearing from her because it made me think she was thinking of me... I guess she's happy in her relationship she's in now ans doesn't need to relieve her guilt anymore.

I know I told her not to contact me but I kind of wish she didn't listen. I know everyone always says no contact but I just wish I had her in my life somehow.

I've been going on dates and have had a positive attitude but I just don't think any of the girls compare at all to my ex in the looks department and I blow them off. I wish I wasn't so picky but I'm not going to settle and be with someone I wouldn't even want to have sex with.

vanheart · Dec 5, 2009, 04:27 PM

Just hang in there, it will get easier.

Plus, if she's in a new relationship, why settle for scraps.

Don't be in such a rush to find someone & compare.

Work on healing from this one first.

amicon · Dec 5, 2009, 04:47 PM

Time to stick to 100% NC-you keep going back to square one with the texting and planned then cancelled hangouts.
Heal first then date.(Grr!:-))

bjohnrupp · Dec 5, 2009, 05:14 PM

That's what I've done- I haven't returned any texts from her since 2 weeks ago when she sent the text from her vacation. I'm guessing she may have brought her new man along for the family vacation and decided she doesn't need me for anything anymore.

talaniman · Dec 5, 2009, 05:24 PM

One of those famous down moments, huh?

It will pass, just like gas, but with less effort.

bjohnrupp · Dec 5, 2009, 06:02 PM

I went on a date last night and I knew right away I wasn't attracted to the girl. When I got home I got very depressed because I'm very lonely. I don't think I'll ever find a girl with a BEAUTIFUL face and body that is very down to earth again. :(

paxe · Dec 5, 2009, 09:35 PM

Loneliness is not fought by dating. Dating is for after, in a long time. Now what you actually need is friend and family and to socialize with people.

You really need to take it slow, healing takes time, you can't just use a rebound.

glenboy123 · Dec 6, 2009, 10:09 AM

This is probably going to sound harsh, but realising that you were not attracted to this girl is actually a good thing. It shows that you know deep inside that you need time and space. Far too many people get into rebound relationships without applying proper thought and logic as a way of masking and even denying their emotional pain.

By taking some "me time" you will come out of this stronger and energized.

If your ex-fiance is already in a relationship with someone else, then her troubles are only just beginning...

Jake2008 · Dec 6, 2009, 10:27 AM

I think that, with her finding her entire family really, she probably can't help but wonder what commitment means. Or what abandonment means, or love, or lies, or relationships. This would turn my whole life upside down, and the last thing on my mind would be taking another step toward any relationship commitment.

She has to face a lot of questions, about who she is, her life, where this family is going to fit in, or not, all the what if's, figuring out what she wants or needs from them, where she fits in.

They are, who she will become. She will change, no matter what happens because this new family will take up most of her time and effort.

She probably took the ring off because she can only deal with so much at one time. Moving forward with you, at the same time she is going back in time with them, is stretching things a bit too much.

The best thing you can do is be there for her when she goes through this, and realize this isn't about you. How you handle her needs right now (for space when she needs it), will eventually come around again to you being the man she can trust and count on.

You should do nothing, except be there for her, and not get worked up about the relationship taking a change to less intense. Realize that what she faces, to her, is priority right now, and she has to deal with it.

bjohnrupp · Dec 6, 2009, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by glenboy123

This is probably going to sound harsh, but realising that you were not attracted to this girl is actually a good thing. It shows that you know deep inside that you need time and space. Far too many people get into rebound relationships without applying proper thought and logic as a way of masking and even denying their emotional pain.

By taking some "me time" you will come out of this stronger and energized.

If your ex-fiance is already in a relationship with someone else, then her troubles are only just beginning..........

But in a week it will be 4 months since I have been dumped- so would that still be considered a rebound relationship? I thought a rebound relationship is when you get involved with someone right after you get dumped. I know I've made some progress because it no longer feels weird when I go on dates like it did months ago. I think you're right- I need more me time.

What do you mean when you said if my ex-fiance is in a relationship with someone else, then her troubles are only just beginning? She's already had 3 or 4 relationships since she dumped me from the last I heard. She said she wanted to see more than 1 guy at a time. Last I heard (3 weeks ago) she said she's seeing some guy and he's soon to be her boyfriend.

amicon · Dec 6, 2009, 12:40 PM

I'd call any relationship one starts before having healed from a breakup a rebound. We have to be completely over the ex and happy being ourselves before thinking about another serious relationship. Dating to get to know new people and enjoy life is part of the process. Your ex seems to be jumping around all over the page but that's not your problem anymore.

vanheart · Dec 6, 2009, 06:39 PM

Yeah, don't worry about what she's doing and her relationship troubles.
Good lesson.

Maybe you were another one of her rebounds. Goes to show you not to get with someone that doesn't know what they want.

She's young. You need a woman, not a girl.

They're out there. But get your act together first.