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bjohnrupp · Nov 23, 2009, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

No, you re not stupid, just human. Get back on the NC track,you'll be fine-just be patient with yourself.

I could do it- its going to be tough. I know she's going to send messages on Christmas and New Years among other days. Also her b'days in a week but I'm disappearing. :rolleyes:

amicon · Nov 23, 2009, 08:32 AM

Act as if you have disappeared from the planet! As for further texts-you could change your cellphone number.
The thing is once you stop allowing her to play her infantile little games, you get the upper hand and you can start healing for real.

talaniman · Nov 23, 2009, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by bjohnrupp

I could do it- its going to be tough. I know shes going to send messages on Christmas and New Years among other days. Also her b'days in a week but I'm disappearing. :rolleyes:

That's the way to go.

Talaniman Rule- When you get dumped, dissapear from their life completely.

bjohnrupp · Nov 25, 2009, 09:50 PM

If down the road I'm in a relationship and/or completely healed is it OK to become friends with the ex? Or is it not recommended?

vanheart · Nov 25, 2009, 09:56 PM

Hold, on, let me get my crystal ball out..

Heal first. Then ask yourself.

Live in the present.

I hope you have friends now that rock. You know the ones. Ones that you don't have to question. Now or later.

Ya know?

talaniman · Nov 25, 2009, 09:57 PM

I think you heal, and be able to move on, and then see what else life throws at you. Much to soon to consider friends in the future, or even worry about it.

bjohnrupp · Nov 25, 2009, 10:18 PM

Thanks Van and Tal- I guess because I still love her so much as a person (shes been through so many extreme hardships) that I would always want to know she's OK but I understand what you guys are saying

vanheart · Nov 25, 2009, 10:36 PM

Too bad for her past. Sorry about that.
No longer your worry or concern.

The past, right?

Hence the term ex. (ie no longer)

People come & go in our lives.

bjohnrupp · Nov 25, 2009, 10:40 PM

I see your point... no longer my concern

vanheart · Nov 25, 2009, 10:46 PM

We all go through this, don't worry.

Just stay NC, be true to yourself & do some soul searching.

The light at the end of the tunnel is there.
Soon, you will bask in that sh$$t...

bjohnrupp · Nov 25, 2009, 10:48 PM

Yea now I'm staying NC. She played with me by being real nice last time to see if I'd respond and I took the bait. It was the 1st time she did that. I have to be strong next time.

vanheart · Nov 25, 2009, 10:55 PM

Next time is now.

See?
By removing yourself from that physical drama, you won't have to spend your time reflecting, looking for answers, all that stuff.

"Does she still care?" (Even tough she dumped me... )

Most exs want nothing more to be pals. Control, justification, have someone else waiting in the wings to see if their new flame has the same qualities... Warm & fuzzy.

Move on from this girl.

bjohnrupp · Nov 25, 2009, 11:03 PM

Just wondering your opinion- do you think she'd ever want to renew things- is that why she stays in contact? To have an option if things don't work out with other guys?
Just some general things I never understood...
Why does she try to make plans and say she wants to hang out but then never will when the day comes? And why is she even afraid to talk on the phone- like she made excuses so she won't have to talk on the phone

vanheart · Nov 25, 2009, 11:11 PM

Because she's your ex.
Not your girlfriend.

Dude go NC & stop worrying about what she's thinking and why she did this & that.

Doesn't those actions say anything to you?

Done pine over this girl. She's done with you.

bjohnrupp · Nov 25, 2009, 11:34 PM

I know she's done with me- I was just wondering
I'm not pining over her anymore- I use to a month or two ago but not anymore

vanheart · Nov 25, 2009, 11:43 PM

Don't wonder about that stuff.
Geez, will she ever come back?

Do you mean 2 seconds ago, hehhehe?

Good.

Now its time to work on you.
Get healed & rock it.

bjohnrupp · Nov 25, 2009, 11:48 PM

HAHA ! Hey 1 last thing- should I go 100% no contact or send an email to her (after she contacts me) saying not to contact me anymore so that I can heal

vanheart · Nov 25, 2009, 11:50 PM

Go NC, like months ago.

You know what NC means right?

So nice of you to still care for the person that dumped your a$$.

Whattya you think?

vanheart · Nov 26, 2009, 12:02 AM

Your new thread title:
"leave recently ex-fiance alone?"

The answer is: Yup

bjohnrupp · Nov 26, 2009, 12:02 AM

Yea the last time she was being real nice so I was being real nice back to her saying how I still think about her a lot and now I feel stupid. I was just going to send the text so she knows why she'll never heasr from me again but I'll take your advice Van man