[solostnconfused]

Three months ago, I met this guy through a friend of mine. This guy is not the best looking guy out there, but his confidence and amazing sense of humor definitely makes up for it. Well, shortly after our encounter, he added me on Facebook and we messaged back-and-forth for a bit before he asked to hang out. Initially, I didn't think of him anymore than a friend, but I gradually started developing feelings for him.

He's really thoughtful, caring and makes me laugh. He introduced me to his close friends not too long ago and I thought things were going great until he started acting strange--he seemed a little distant for a bit. I really hated his mixed signals. We talked on the phone one night and he suddenly says he has to tell me something and that he's never really done this before.

Well, after what felt like forever, he mumbled "I..think...I like you" But, then he continues by apologizing for being distant before. He said it's because he was confused and wanted to sort out his feelings. He also said he's not the type to like people that fast and that he got "scared"--I'm not exactly sure what he means by that. He tells me I'm one of the nicest girls he's ever met and says he really enjoys my company. He also said he wasn't sure if what he was feeling was a crush or was the"real" thing so he wanted to "take things slow", start by being friends, get to know each other more, and see if the feelings develop or fade. I asked him if he was confused because he was interested in someone else, and he says no, there's no one else except me. He continues after, telling me he doesn't want to just be friends, and that he actually wants something to happen, it's just he wants to "take things slow". He said he's "dated" but he's never had an official girlfriend before so he wants to "take things slow". In the end, he asked me to give him a chance if the time comes when he asks me out. So... yeah.

I've let him lead the pace the whole time. I just don't get it--at all. We've never kissed or done anything physical. The most we've done is give each other brief good-night hugs. Even though we don't see each other every day, we always keep in touch. I know he doesn't want to rush things, but... I just don't get it. I wasn't rushing anything either. What does he want exactly? And, what does he mean by taking things slow?

Men are so confusing.

[ROLCAM]

I see nothing confusing here.
He wants to take his time and so do you.
Stay with it, you look like being on a winner.

[Zaithe]

Hi,
Well men are not that much confusing as you think but you come across a boy who just seems to feel love or attachment first time with girl but already he has heard many disturbing stories and have afraid of it. I also can say that that boy is sensitive and try to develop a really long relationship. If he is taking time that mean he wants to stick with one girl in his life and if he really feels that in you then you are the lucky girl in this world because these types of men are very short now in world :)

[Lulubell599]

I am taking it that you have had more relationships than he has. So you have a different view than he does.

What I am taking this to mean is that, he does like you, but depending on his age, he might be nervous or he isn't ready to settle down yet. I know that I recently started dating someone and I am not so sure yet. Those are the feelings you guy doesn't want. It would only complicate things.

He seems like a very trustworthy young man. I wouldn't be surprised if you guys turned out to be something grand, but in the long run you might not.

Someone with little relationship experience has a long way to go. You can only go as fast as your slowest person, otherwise you are getting nowhere in a hurry.
Ask him what he is looking for in a relationship, see if this is what you want as well. If you can't handle the pace then just be friends and move on, or if you can then great.

Taking it slow for him seems like friendship to me. And he still may be in that stage. Help him find the way to you and to make that leap. Go out of your way to help him out with something if he needs help. Let him know that you'll be there for him, but don't come on to strong otherwise he'll be bounding out the door.

Trust yourself. You know what to do, people can tell you anything you want to hear, but in the end it's your decision.