[ADW76]

This is my first time to this site. I have noticed that there are several different questions about parents that abuse drugs and are in danger of losing custody. My question is similar. First of all, I was addicted to pain pills. I don't have a problem admitting that. But for over a year now I have been prescribed to methadone. I have been subjected to drug test for the past year and have tested clean every time. I have a full time job (I didn't when I was using) and I take very good care of my daughter. She is my WORLD!! I was served papers last week from her father. He wants custody of my daughter who he hasn't seen since she was 2 weeks old (his choice). My question is will the courts look down on me for taking methadone? I have a lawyer and am going to see her on Friday to discuss this, but I am dying at the thought of losing my daughter.

[ScottGem]

You don't say how old the daughter is, but, if your ex had visitation rights and he chose to not exercise them and is now, after a period, suing for custody, I doubt if he will have much of a chance. As long as you can show a clean test record, gain full employment and no issue of neglect or abuse, the court is unlikley to take your child away. They may order partial custody or visitation for your ex, though.

[ADW76]

Thanks for your response. In regard to your questions:
My daughter is now 2 1/2. I understand that he will get visitation and I want him to. I have tried numerous times to get him to have a relationship with her. He will call every 6 months or so and ask to see her. I will set something up with him and then he never follows through.

Also, I have been at my current job since January and am also taking my test next month to get my license to become a licensed agent (insurance). And I do have a record of my clean drug screens. I know a lot of people look down on methadone. But it has really helped me. I have not used at all since starting the methadone. Thanks again!!

[ScottGem]

Good luck

[isabelle]

I do not think you will have a problem, according to the things you have stated. I know many people do "look down" on people taking methadone and that is wrong. However I believe that your clean record and your employment history will count for a lot. Also there has been no abuse issues... Or so I undstood.
The judge will probably give the father some visitation rights but if he has chosen not to use them in the past I don't think he will use them, even with a court order. You didn't say if he was paying any support ? If he isn't.. he will be in for a big surprise when the judge talks to him and you find you are entitled to support.
My advise is always take your lawyer with you. You did the right thing in making an appointment to talk to an attorney but don't think you have to hire the first one you talk to. Most consultations are free. He may also be able to get you some back child support if none has ever been paid.
I also believe in paper trails.. take anything, you have on paper, with you. The papers for any vaccinations your child has. I hope they are up to date , if not... get them.. Also any appointments you have had with her pediatrician. There should be growth charts and where she scored on them. There are developmental charts and where she scored on them.
You are working... so take any papers you have from whatever service or person you use for baby sitting... Use any neighbors that can tell the judge how your child behaves.. if you have a church... take peoples opinions from them with you. Anything that shows that your child is happy and well cared for. Show all this to your attorney and allow him to choose what he need to make your case.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[ADW76]

Thanks so much for your input! Yes, he pays child support, but get this, he only pays $275 per month. My daughter's daycare is $440.00 per month so that doesn't even cover her daycare. It was a slap in the face to be honest. But he only started paying this past May so I was happy to get that. They also did not make him pay back the first 2 years of her life that he didn't pay. Pretty crappy huh? No visitation has been put in to place because he hasn't asked for any. Except for the few times he has called asking to see her. I think that is just mainly to get a rise out of me. And when he doesn't because I always tell him he is welcome to see her - he never follows through. As far as the abuse issues? I don't know if you were questioning physical abuse? None at all - or if you meant drug abuse? I abused pain pills but not to the point to where she was taken care of. I really don't know what his reasoning is because he hasn't been around us since she was 2 weeks old. So, his grounds for this are beyond me.

Thanks again for your input. It has really helped me put my fears at ease. I was really stressing the thought of my daughter being without me. Even the thought of her having to go on the weekends with him kills me. She has never been away from me more than a day. When I tell you that I have no life - I am not exaggerating! My daughter is my life, and I am starting to feel bad about it, because it's my fault that she isn't going to deal well being away from me. Usually come nighttime she starts crying for me. I guess there isn't much I can do about it. It will work itself out.

[isabelle]

I was talking about abuse of the child but I knew there was't any, but I had to get that in, as he may bring that up.
As for your drug abuse. I think you have pretty well covered that and I don't think it will cause you any problems.
I also do not think that there will be any overnighters at first but maybe you could ask for supervised visits for the first few times... that should back him off.
Be sure to follow your lawyers advise.
Good luck.

[s_cianci]

If you have been clean and stable for over a year as your post suggests and your daughter has been with you the whole time and you have been adequately caring for her, then I really don't see the court giving custody to the father. Especially if he hasn't, by choice, seen her since she was two weeks old.

[ADW76]

Thanks for your response. You guys have really made me feel so much better. In response to your post - Yes, I have remained clean and have a record of the clean drug screens. Also, it's been his choice not to see her and luckily I have kept a journal of it since she was born. Thanks again and please keep us in your prayers.

[isabelle]

ADW76.. you are one smart lady.. there is not much that carries as much weight in a court room as a journal and it is the hardest thing to get some people to do. Bless you.. you are going to beat this and I don't foresee much of a problem, but of course listen to your lawyer.. he is the man for now.
Hon, you have been in my prayers since your first post.
Is that a picture of your baby?. She is precious.
How did the appointment with your lawyer go?

[ADW76]

Thanks for your prayers - that's really all we can do now. My appt with my lawyer is this Friday. I didn't realize she would be out of the office the day after Thanksgiving. I will defiantly keep you posted. And I hope you are right about the journal - I hope it was worth me journaling for the past 2 1/2 years. Thanks again for your kind words. And yes that is my daughter in the pic with me! If you would like to see more pics here is a link: http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/annadaire/
Keep us in your prayers...

[ADW76]

Just wanted to let you know that I went to see my lawyer today and she really made me feel better. She seems to think that because I have proof of being clean for the past year that I should not have a problem. To be honest with you... she didn't even bat an eye when I told her everything, she just said as long as you have proof - we are okay. Which made me feel so much better. Thanks again for all of your responses they have really made me be able to breathe a little easier until I could get to my lawyer.

[isabelle]

Hurrrrayyyyyyyy for you and for your daughter. I am so glad your mind has been eased. I know how much worring can take out of a person. Hang in there and good luck.