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    Jen070584's Avatar
    Jen070584 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 16, 2009, 05:03 PM
    Best girlfriend, great chemistry but not in love?
    My ex and I broke up 3 months ago after dating for 6 months. I'm 25 and he's almost 30. I was friends with him for 2 years before that, so I knew his back story. He had been dumped right before we met. She had cheated on him after 3 years and told him she was never in love with him, and apparently it really messed him up. I watched him go through several relationships before we started dating (I had another boyfriend at the time.) Once I broke up with my boyfriend, we started dating. We have great chemistry and a lot in common- when we started dating he said he had always wanted to date me but the timing was never right. We had hardly any fights and our personalities and sense of humors just meshed. He never told me he loved me, and after 6 months, he told me I am the best girlfriend he's ever had, he has a lot of fun, he's attracted to me, I'm his best friend and he trust me more than anyone he knows... but he's been in love before, and he doesn't have that same feeling with me.So we broke up, but he said he didn't want me out of his life, and he wanted to stay friends. Now we see each other all the time and still have that great chemistry... All of our mutual friends have told me they don't understand it because he seemed so happy with me, and we were so great together, and now he just seems depressed. He has no emotion, and he shuts out all his friends... He's not even trying to meet other people. Strangely enough he still keeps in contact with me... I can't think about relationships with anyone else because I always compare them to him. How do I move on when I feel like we're supposed to be together?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 16, 2009, 08:06 PM
    You move on by stop keeping in touch. Disappear from each other's live so that you don't have anymore false hope or over-analyze all the details.

    You start living your own lives without each other in it.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Nov 17, 2009, 01:00 AM
    This guy comes with too much baggage and is emotionally unavailable.
    You should be looking out for yourself so step away from this and don't stay in touch with him.
    2ndTime's Avatar
    2ndTime Posts: 191, Reputation: 12
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Nov 17, 2009, 11:35 AM

    Tell him that you truly love him, but since he doesn't you need to move on (this means not even be hook up friends). Then you stop communicating with him completely. Go on and do everyday things and hang out with your friends and ask your friends not even to mention about your ex. It maybe hard at first, but you will get through. Meanwhile, check out on others similar experience as yours on this site.
    jaime90's Avatar
    jaime90 Posts: 1,157, Reputation: 163
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Nov 17, 2009, 12:03 PM

    You guys were both more than likely, on the rebound when you met. You're still friends, and you still have feelings for him obviously. The best thing you can do (for him, and for yourself) is to stop having contact. Don't go through mutual friends, and don't contact him at all. Make your wishes known- if he tries to contact you, tell him that it's over and you're trying to move on, and that it would be helpful if he didn't try to talk to you.

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