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vickieodongoz · Nov 16, 2009, 01:35 PM

Well, I meet this girl whom am in one school with.we have been talking for awhile.I ask her to text me when she will be going out to dance which she did and we had great dance night together.she even suggested that we should go dance again in two weeks time.the next day we meet at her friends place and watch movies all day while curdling and holding hands.it was fun with her.then at night we hold hand when I was walking her to her place.I ask her if I should come check her room how it looks but she say it was messed up.she promise to clean the room then I will come back someday and we watch a movie.I hugged her tight and wave good night I never kissed her.I texted her later in thenight that I had fun and am greatfull which she repplied saying thanks and that she had fun.the following morning I gave her call to say hi but she didn't pick.then later she write a text saying she was asleep.and phone was on silent.but today in school.I said hi and just went on to talk and chat with other girls.I never talk to her again.but after school I wrote her text asking how she is doing but no reply.I text again to say am sorry to bother her with my text but no reply.what is wrong.has she changed her mind.do I still stand a chance for a movie with her.or for the dance.what can I do.

justcurious55 · Nov 16, 2009, 01:57 PM

Maybe try backing off a little. Calling and texting and wanting to hang out all the time seems like a little too much too soon. Also, asking to come in, probably also too much too soon. Relax, just try to get to know her. And give her some space.

Cat1864 · Nov 16, 2009, 02:36 PM

What happened to the pregnant girl you were writing about in October?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-409161.html

Was she the same as this one from September:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-396385.html

Then from May there is a question about a girl you were living with:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ut-358303.html

After reading just the most recent threads you have started and I think that not only do you need to give this young woman some space, you need to give yourself some space and time to get to know who you are when you aren't in a relationship. It is almost like you are using relationships to validate your existence. That is not healthy for anyone's self-esteem.

It seems to me that you need to build up a good relationship with yourself before you get involved with anyone else. You also need to give yourself some resources to keep yourself from falling from one relationship into the next one.

88sunflower · Nov 16, 2009, 02:39 PM

Greenies your way Cat.
Good catches.

TrueFaith · Nov 16, 2009, 04:25 PM

Without all the catch outs there.. which made me laugh.. must admit

Can I check on your room? Who says that?

Yeah back off her and work on your own issues.. it seems you have a few kid.

All the best

vickieodongoz · Nov 19, 2009, 04:29 AM

Greetings,few days a go i wrote about this girl whom we hard great moments with but have not been texting me back.but today this is what she text me

"ok,look.i don't hate you,i don't do hate.i have some issues and that is what this is about.i know i might have given the impression last weekend that i wanted to be more than friends,but i don't.i don't know you,and most importantly,you don't know me.i got the impression that you wanted to make this more than friendship,and that freaked me out.i have just felt cornered and that made me back up instead of talking to you about it,and am sorry for that.i don't mind being friends if you still want to,after how i have behaved,but we'll have to start over.i hope this is ok with you,and am sorry if i led you on.''

What can i do because i like her a lot.should i say yes to friendship or forget about her and go with my life.

amicon · Nov 19, 2009, 04:46 AM

She only wants friendship,you want more-save yourself some agony and let this go.

Dave605 · Nov 19, 2009, 05:29 AM

If a girl told me that. I wouldn't give her the time of day. That pained me just to read that. I could only imagine a girl telling me that. Chalk this up to experience. Learn from it and move forward to a girl that does want you! Be strong!

kctiger · Nov 19, 2009, 06:38 AM

This is a tricky question. I can't tell if it was you trying to move too fast and it freaked her out, or if she just flat out doesn't want a romantic relationship with you. Either way, it really is up to you whether you can handle being friends with someone you clearly have deeper feelings for.

I would suggest taking some time away and thinking this over, the positives and negatives of the situation and making a decision that you think is right for you over time. I imagine you went into this with a mentality that you wanted to date her, not befriend her. While a lot of relationships start as friendships, usually something like this is best left alone, as I have been in this spot before and I would rather back off.

I wish · Nov 19, 2009, 07:23 AM

Fair warning

You have a history of creating multiple threads. Many of the older threads have already been merged. Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story.

Friendships aren't suppose to be so dramatic. If you really want to be friends with her, slow things down. Take it one step at the time, don't need to fast-track a friendship.

But if you want to be friends with her only in hopes of wanting something more, then you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. Figure out what you want first before taking the next step.

Cat1864 · Nov 19, 2009, 08:31 AM

Are you capable of just being a friend with absolutely no expectations of anything more? If you said yes to friendship would you be back asking 'why she doesn't want more' or 'how do I get her to want to be more than friends'?

I still think you need to take a step back and learn to like yourself when you aren't in a relationship. I am afraid that you don't know who you are unless you have some type of drama going on with a female. It isn't healthy for your self-esteem to keep up the cycle you have gotten yourself into. Take time to break it before it breaks you.

vickieodongoz · Nov 19, 2009, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Are you capable of just being a friend with absolutely no expectations of anything more? If you said yes to friendship would you be back asking 'why she doesn't want more' or 'how do I get her to want to be more than friends'?

I still think you need to take a step back and learn to like yourself when you aren't in a relationship. I am afraid that you don't know who you are unless you have some type of drama going on with a female. It isn't healthy for your self-esteem to keep up the cycle you have gotten yourself into. Take time to break it before it breaks you.

Nothing is beaking me man I know myself more than you think I do

justcurious55 · Nov 19, 2009, 10:16 AM

If you know yourself so well why do you have so many relationship problems? That's a sign that you really don't know yourself. If you knew yourself I really think you would be able to decide if you should just accept the offer of friendship and get to know her or not.