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cross2daheart · Nov 16, 2009, 01:46 AM

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Now, it's been four weeks since me and my ex girlfriend decided to get some space. Unfortunately, I showed some weakness and constantly called her, crying and begging her back. But first, I did messed up the relationship but viewing her social page and destroying trust issue, also lot's arguments which I mostly cause. I know I made mistake and I'm paying it. I forgive myself for what I did and realize that I actually hurt her. You can say, that I'm mentally scared for life. I could actually see and feel her pain during the arguments and my confession of looking at privacy. Now, she tells me that the trust is gone but doesn't know about the future. Also I was honest to her 100% of what I did. Today, I seen her because we had a cancer walk to do and it's been almost a week since I last saw her. Do I want her back? Of course I do. I been reading articles and listening to my friends telling me that the best way to get your girlfriend back is not calling her at all. Now, I believe and think that she's talking to someone else or dating. And I'm hurt but, we both decided to do this. So my question is, by not calling her would it be a good idea or not? What's the results and the pros / cons?

I also, have her as a friend on Facebook. I don't want to delete but I actually hidden her name so that I won't see any messages or comments she pasted. And she also is deleted from my aim buddy list but not blocked. Is this a good idea? Thank you.

azif · Nov 16, 2009, 04:18 AM

If she's seeing someone else then it sounds like she's already decided to move on

Not contacting her and erasing her from your life will help you get over her

I had my ex of Facebook for a while but I would always end up looking at her profile etc... just delete it you can always add her back some time in the future

Something_Here · Nov 16, 2009, 04:20 AM

If part of the problem was that you couldn't give her privacy, then it's probably better if you give her some space. Just leave her alone for a while, and don't check her Facebook.

cross2daheart · Nov 16, 2009, 08:53 PM

Me and my ex broke up, agreeing to some space. All this happen because of arguments and me looking into her privacy. Basically ruining the trust. Now, I been depressed for 4 weeks but now I'm motivated to move on. I mean I still love my ex and of course want her back but I can't live like this. All my friends tell me not to call her and move on. If my ex loved me she'll give me a last chance. Now I changed a lot, I know what I did was wrong and trust me I see my ex girls tears and pain in me ever night/day.

I think my ex is seeing someone else and I can't do much but just move on.. And here's where it gets exciting. Before I got with me ex almost two years ago I had this close friend. I mean really close. During that time, we end up making out and I did some other things to her but we never slept together. I met her over the net, and we hanged a few times. Me staying over her house. Now during my relationship with my ex, I had to talk to my friend on the low because my ex didn't approve to that fact that I had love for my friend and that we made out in the past. Just to let you know, I never cheated on my ex girlfriend.

There was times when I speak to my friend about the past but there was one day which gave me the butterflies. By the way, my friend has a child and boyfriend. I guess I was the guy that comfort her. He basically cheated and lied to her. Now they are engaged but sometimes she would get thoughts of him doing something behind her back. So she would talk to me for advice. We basically give each other advances on our relationships.

So there was one time where we spoke and joke around, then I mentioned the night we made out. She didn't say much at first but then said that She likes me a lot and appreciates the fact that I'm there for her and also doesn't regret making out with me and other stuff. I was shocked but then I also told her I didn't regret and I'll do it again. Now during this time, I was still in a relationship. I told my friend that not only did I enjoyed that night but also take it far. She was shocked but then told me that she also wanted to have sex but thought about the consequences, her son and the babies father. I respect that! But I was shocked. So I told her, that if anything happens in the future, I would love to be her man and her response was that anything could happen.

Now that I'm single, but still hurt because me and my ex broke up. My friend thinks my ex doesn't appreciate me and if she did then I would get that chance. And now I believe that My ex is seeing someone else. Which is crazy since we just broke up 4 weeks ago. Today, I finally seen my friend for the first time in 2 years. I was happy, a little nervous but excited. We know we like each other but she's still engaged. Now, I'm happy for her and the guy is lucky. I don't wish her harm. She mentioned in the car that If her boyfriend messes up again, that she'll leave him and do her (meaning have fun).

My question is. Do I have a chance in the future to be with this woman? I'm not waiting at all but I'm keeping my options open. I mean anything happen. And I do feel that one day, something is going to happen. When? I don't know. Could it happen? Maybe.

Wow, It's been two years and she still looks beautiful. I still can't believe we still talk as friends. Help me with some feedback.

TheCompromiser · Nov 16, 2009, 10:37 PM

There is a chance you may be with her in the future, but what makes miracles like that great is not counting on it. Give her space, explore your options.

My words to live by in this case is, "If you don't watch out for yourself who will?"

Take care, be strong and have fun.

amicon · Nov 17, 2009, 01:10 AM

You need to heal from your recent breakup before you even start thinking about a new relationship.
Your friend's in a relationship and has a child so for obvious reasons she's off limits.

mudweiser · Nov 17, 2009, 01:59 AM

Blah blah blah..

She has a kids for cripes sake AND a boyfriend.

Boy-o I bet if YOU had a kid with a girl YOU would be UPSET to hear of her "friend" trying to get with her. Really man common' no matter how he treats her, she's still with him NOT you.

You just had a break up, relax. Don't go jumping into another relationship, especially when the person is STILL in one, let alone with a kid.

Sarah

cross2daheart · Nov 17, 2009, 02:41 AM

Whoa, you got it wrong. I'm not trying to jump into a relationship with her. I know she has a son which I love and a man. I'm asking is there a possibility to have something with her in the future!! Meaning single wise. Of course I love my ex and want her back, but at the same I'm not going to chase her. I done that and now it's time to play my cards right. I do hope she calls me one day.

mudweiser · Nov 17, 2009, 02:46 AM

Originally Posted by cross2daheart

Whoa, ya got it wrong. I'm not trying to jump into a relationship with her. I know she has a son which i love and a man. I'm asking is there a possibility to have something with her in the future!!! meaning single wise. Of course I love my ex and want her back, but at the same I'm not going to chase her. I done that and now it's time to play my cards right. I do hope she calls me one day.

It's best not to play with those thoughts. She engaged and usually marriage is a lifetime commitment. Like I said don't play with those thoughts, it's not worth asking.

As for your whole ex ordeal, it'll take time to get over. Don't wait around for her and please do not mope around about your breakup. Breakups are hard but you live on.

Sarah