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    Ncodella's Avatar
    Ncodella Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 19, 2006, 10:23 PM
    Help I don't no what to do!
    I am in a relationship with this guy who is my best friend ( before and after we got together) for the last 3 years on and off we have been together. Times are not really that bad, but they are not really that good etiher. This past summer we fought a lot, about almost everything, and now I am away at school. He comes to visit me sometimes, a few times a month probably, and when he does we are pretty good together. But, we never really have much to talk about and sometimes when we do talk I just get really irratated with him. When we talk on the phone it is almost complete silence, once a day and for about 2 minutes... I love you good night is about all we say anymore. And a huge problem, sex... we rarly have it anymore at all because of the distance but when we do I am just no into it and even just tell him no sometimes. He can tell I'm not into it anymore and I don't no what to say. I am afraid if I break it off with him that he will hate me and maybe even harm himself. I have tired before and he pulls these guilt trips that hurt me so bad that I can't do it. I do love him so much and I don't want him to think that I don't but I just don't think we are meant to be together. What should I do? Any comments or adivse?? :confused:
    girl123's Avatar
    girl123 Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Nov 19, 2006, 10:58 PM
    Have you discussed the specific problems that you have mentioned here (i.e. nothing to talk about; sex)? I think you should definitely start with that, and see how he feels about these issues. You can say that you love him and care about him, but right now you just need some alone time.
    Is he suicidal? Please try to help him seek profession help if he is, as suicidal ideation is not something to take lightly.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #3

    Nov 20, 2006, 02:03 AM
    Communication is the key to any relationship.

    You do sound like you are the stronger 1 out of u 2, so pull your socks up and talk to this guy. You shouldn't be shy its not like you met him only yesterday you've known him for a while.

    So talk to him, even if its you doing most of the talking, explain how you feel and what is bothering you, like you told us.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Nov 22, 2006, 11:42 AM
    Sounds as if you both are just hanging on just because, not healthy. You have too many issues between you and neither of you sounds happy. Honest communication is needed.
    BIM's Avatar
    BIM Posts: 245, Reputation: 50
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    #5

    Nov 22, 2006, 12:15 PM
    Sounds to me as though you have answered your own question. You are not 'into' this relationship any longer. Quite frankly I don't think he is either. I feel it is time to pack this one up and leave it behind.

    If you think he will harm himself then he needs help. Try and find help for him, but you needent stay in a relationship because of that.

    How old are you two?
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