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araina · Nov 10, 2009, 03:18 PM

I have been seeing a guy for the past 5 yrs.
Lately I have been thinking about the relationship and need some advice .
I love him very much.my life revolves around him.but lately things have been going off track.
The problem:-
He treats me like a baby.and I want to be treated as his girlfriend.he is more like a father giving suggestions and advice and lectures and am sick of it

He loves to flirt with girls and I don't appreciate that.I have caught him many times saying things like love you and stuff to girls he meets online.I also caught him seeing a girl flash.he talks dirty to them but has never slept with them.when I tell him am against it he tells me he likes making friends online and pass time because he is bored but will never sleep with them because he can't cheat on me.

All he wants to do is eat or drink.so if we want to meet or go out he only comes when I want to eat because he says he gets bored.

He never listens.all he wants to do is talk about his issues and himself.he is never bothered about what I have to sayand he keeps shutting me up whenever I try.

He gets bored talking on the phone or meeting.so our relationship revolves around his friends.we meet with his friends around.we eat drink party go out with his friends.

He never makes an effort to make things fun or spice things up.he is very organised and doesn't believe in making effort in changing our relationshhip.

Am very attached to him and love him more than anything in this world.but I feel he is just used to me and I know he loves me but fails to understand my needs.

I want to be the 1st on his priority list like he is on mine.I have tried everything possible.
There is nothing left to do

So should I leave him?am not ready for it but its better than crying every night.

sobo555 · Nov 10, 2009, 05:08 PM

Only you can really decide whether you should leave him. However, crying every night is not a way to live. You def. deserve more than that; and I say that without even knowing you!
Breaking up is hard and it may be two much for you to take on right now. So maybe slowly making yourself 1st priority and spending more time on yourself and with your friends or family will make him open his eyes a little!
Communication is huge and if he continues to blow you off when you try to say something maybe a letter could be good! GUYS ARE NOT GOOD AT HINTS!! THEY Don't PICK UP CODES!
In my life I learned that if you make yourself too available for anyone they will begin to take advantage. Start to make yourself less available, start to focus on what makes you happy (not him). Don't sit home and cry... get out and get your mind off things.
If you start to step back a bit and make yourself available he with either notice and say something, at which point you can express yourself. Or you two may grow apart and your answer will be right in front of you!

redhed35 · Nov 10, 2009, 05:31 PM

Could I ask what age you are,your other posts would indicate you're a young teen,text speak etc?

The content of this post would indicate an older teen or adult?

araina · Nov 11, 2009, 11:24 AM

Am 22..
The text thing because I really had no idea about the rules of this site and just very used to typing that way..

I wish · Nov 11, 2009, 11:27 AM

Sounds like a very disfunctional relationship.

After 5 years, if he still can't give you what you want, then find someone else who can. You've given him enough chances. 5 years of chances is more than enough.

redhed35 · Nov 11, 2009, 11:30 AM

If your crying very night and he is not meeting any of your emotional needs then perhaps it time to call it a day...

Relationships are hard work even the good ones,but if your feeling that you're the one doing all the work and talking its become very one sided.

If your not happy and he has crossed the boundries, you have to decide if his actions are going to be a deal breaker for you.

araina · Nov 11, 2009, 11:57 AM

Thanks a lot guys for removing time and helping me out.I have had some really good times with him.is there anything else I can do to make things better?I love him very much.I want him to be happy and just want him to listen to me when I talk and spend quality time with him rather than his whole group of friends.I have tried talking.I have tried messaging.when I talk he shuts me up when I message he doesn't read properly.
I know I won't be happy without him so I just want to try some more before I give up on him.
Any suggestions to make things better and fun..

Jayjay027 · Nov 11, 2009, 12:06 PM

All you can do is communicate with him and tell him how you are feeling. Tell him that if some changes aren't made, then you are prepared to leave, and find someone who will trat you better - if nothing changed after that, I think you need to leave him.

You shouldn't be crying every night because of your boyfriend, that's a huge red flag to me.