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karolinas · Nov 4, 2009, 07:56 AM

My 2 year old son slept in his crib until he was 1, then he got really sick and started sleeping with us. So a month ago on his 2nd birthday we got him a toddler bed. He went to sleep in his bed but it seems he took us along. To fall asleep neither I or my husband have to lay with him, and then he wakes up at night and demand we sleep with him. I don't want him crying so we just crawl into bed with him. I have another baby on the way and I need him to be a big boy. Please give me advice on how to get him to go to sleep on his own as well as stay asleep the whole night through.

tickle · Nov 4, 2009, 10:24 AM

Get him good and tired before putting him to bed, and you must, absolutely must, let him cry it out. Its called 'tough love' mom. You are teaching him a good lesson, starting to be independent and you need him to be that way. Just let him cry and I know its got to hurt listening.

Tick

Mistique · Nov 9, 2009, 08:48 AM

For an entire year he slept with you and it is going to be a hard and painful break.

This is what I did:

1) Ensure his day is scheduled out nice, has plenty of activity and a really good supper.

2) I gave my daughter a bath and a cup of warm milk with honey (which knocks me out too :)).

3) You could redecorate his room to something he likes (which will get him so excited - I know because my daughter has a pink room, pink/maple Barbie bedroom suite and princess everything!). My daughter took an active roll doing that... I just did what she said and made suggestions to her giving her options and ability to make the final decision (which made her think she was calling the shots! :))

4) Tell him how big of a boy he is and what he can do all by himself (encourage independence) and that big boys sleep in their own rooms... and talk about how cool his room is now that he personalized it. There is a few books on "I can do it all by myself" - really short but very encouraging. You might want to remove the soother after he adjusts to his new routine.

5) Start new traditions if you don't do it already do these things like... after pajama time and wash up time say prayer (if religious), story-time and sing a song to them... like Twinkle Twinkle or other nursery rhymes. Try to build up these cues and it may make the "transition" a bit easier. Now it takes me about 20-30 minutes to get to bed easily.

6) You could leave the door open and a night light on (which worked for mine) and eventually get the door closed then eventually the lights off (that takes time - I have been working on it for about 6 months)... if he is having bad dreams GET MONSTER REPELLENT... bottle of water and pretend that it will take the monsters away if your having any issues with that.

7) Apply tough love... you spent time with him (as you are doing now... change it up a bit and make bedtime a bit more exciting) and now it is bedtime (set a time every night and follow it - which you do... no exceptions (unless unwell)). He will cry, shout and scream but keep coming in about every ten minutes, readjust him, tuck him in again, kiss him and say "good-night"... keep enforcing it. If he wakes up in the night do the same thing... go in there and readjust him, ensure everything is okay and that you are just in the next room, tuck him in and kiss him and to go to bed... he will fuss and it will be tough but show him you care, that it's okay and you are right there. Your bed was his security so it will be a bit of a challenge but you have to do it... what happens if you get a #2? I know it will break your heart but you have to try and do something.

Good luck!