[swissbluetopaz]

My boyfriend just had a long conversation w me last night concerning how much stress he is under. First of all every time we get close emotionally he seems to push me away. Second, he considers himself very independent and is trying to "adjust" to someone who wants to share everything concerning him in his life. Second, he has some serious health issues, he had a mild heart attact, he has a bad back with small fractures in it. He has a mother who has cancer. So I get the stress part. My problem is, he told me he just wants to go out of state with some guys a few times a month and act immature and smoke cubin cigars and watch naked women dance. At first he said he didn't mean any disrespect, then he corrected himself and said no I don't care what you think.? Any feed back on this? Men are more than welcome to reply...

[itsamor]

seems like he's trying to be assertive and "in charge" as you said he pushes you away when you get emotional... a stubborn male action is to act tough and by saying he doesn't care what you think is him feeling in control. BTW how old are the both of you? & How long have you been together? =]

[Ashley-M]

well it must be understandable- the stress part to do with illnesses and his mum and all that but that still isnt really an exuse to go to a strip club every so often. some people dont care if their boyfriends do that but alot of people do and its not fair at all that he should say he doesnt care what you think. he should value your opinion and consider how you would feel if he did this. You should talk to him about it, tell him how you feel about it, tell him your not trying to make his stress worse and stuff by nagging him but your upset about it...or however you feel. As for the getting close emotionally and him pushing you away and him considering himself independant- i think alot of guys like to have a bit of space especially if he is stressed and doesnt want to feel sufficated cause this will only make things worse for him, i think if it becomes really noticable and too much space that he wants and doesnt let you get close then you'll probably want to talk to him about that too , just so you dont start developing doubts in your mind, because all this could always just be in your head and maybe hes just going through a really rough time at the moment so just let it out and tell him how you feel.

[I wish]

Sounds like he's not ready for a relationship, but he's in one nonetheless.

It also sounds like he's not taking this relationship as seriously as you would like. If he can't provide you what you want and need, you can't force him to change. You either accept the way he is or find someone else who is more compatible with you.

[redhed35]

I do wonder why someone with a heart conditon and serious health issues wants too go clubbing,smoke cigars and watch naked women dance...

Is it that he does not care that you approve or does not care how you feel?

This sounds like quite a stressful relationship,if your boyfriend does not care about your feelings or his own health,perhaps you should rethink the whole thing...

Maybe this ones not for you.

[jaime90]

If this guy loved you and was truly serious about the relationship, he would take your opinion into consideration, instead of telling you he doesn't care what you think, even before you can really state your thoughts. That's just plain disrespect.

[slapshot_oi]

If you guys just started dating, then he's laying the ground-work now so he doesn't have to pull any punches later on. He probably could've been nicer about it, but at least he ain't lying.

If you've been dating for a while, it could be bad news.