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    kmj0317's Avatar
    kmj0317 Posts: 14, Reputation: 4
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Nov 2, 2009, 12:34 AM
    No contacts with ex?
    Why do people say no contact with your ex? Sometimes some ex's want to be friends and some don't. I don't understand because me and my ex still have some type of communication.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
    		  
    #2

    Nov 2, 2009, 12:51 AM
    Having no contact with an ex helps you heal from the breakup more quickly as the confusion,emotional dust etc are allowed to fade.
    Staying friends is not a good idea-there s nearly always one party who s hurting more than the other and they don't need the pain of seeing or talking to the ex.
    Remember an ex is an ex for a reason.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #3

    Nov 2, 2009, 02:10 AM

    Had to spread the rep amicon.

    To the op.

    Hearts don't break even...

    Even in a mutual breakup, where both parties agree being friends is the better option,it still takes time to adjust to a new normal without them.

    No contact,can impower both parties to move forward,and maybe, become friends down the line with no emotional attachment or lingering feelings.

    However in the majority of cases the hurt of one is so bad that they just can't move on with the other in their lives.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #4

    Nov 2, 2009, 06:12 AM

    No contact doesn't mean you can't be friends with your ex. It means you need to emotionally heal from the experience. Right after a break up, the emotions can be flying high, so you need time to settle down the emotions.

    Once you've healed, you will be calmer and more objective about what you think is the best next step for yourself.
    A4Effort's Avatar
    A4Effort Posts: 486, Reputation: 35
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    #5

    Nov 2, 2009, 06:18 AM

    Just like everyone else above said, you need to take the proper amount of time to heal. Once you are healed and COMPLETELY over your ex you could pursue a friendship if the both of you are on the same agreement.

    I have a friend who is best friends with her ex but it took her a few years to get to that point.

    Personally I could not because I think some feelings would always be there.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #6

    Nov 2, 2009, 07:16 AM

    If you, and your ex, aren't looking for more than friendship, then it could work, it depends how both have viewed the relationship, and how the break up affected the friendship.

    Some exes are better at friendship, than romance.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #7

    Nov 2, 2009, 08:23 AM

    You can only be friends once the emotional dust settles. I am friends with a few exes as time went by and my feelings went away I can now enjoy their company and conversation as opposed to feeling uncomfortable around them
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