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louiseismyname · Oct 28, 2009, 02:11 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

Just leave that a l o n e-its not your problem. Concentrate on your own life and your happiness.

I'm going too amicon that's why I have not texted the woman when she asked me too, it just annoys me that I had proof and deleted it. She will probably take him back again and he will hurt her, I just like to try and help her but feel powerless to do so now I've deleted texts :mad::mad::mad:

Like I say she probably won't believe me even if I gave her the texts, she is in love with him and has blinkers on to his faults so I'm trying my best to too let this anger consume me, I suppose if there together or not its not my problem any longer it just makes me mad when this woman has been told by different people about him and don't listen

louiseismyname · Oct 28, 2009, 07:34 AM

I just want to say thanks again for all your help, I've took some time out and went to see my nan who has terminal cancer and realised that I don't need a person like my ex in my life. I also realise that yes I was stupid to delete the texts he sent me asking me to get back with him etc but even if I didn't delete them I probably wouldn't want to show his ex anyway as I wouldn't want the agro it would bring.

I know I need to move on with my life and put this in the past, at least I didn't make a commitment to this guy and have kids with him at least I suppose, I always thought that there was something not quite right hence me never meeting him when he wanted too.

Its up to the other woman to decide how to handle her side of the situation, she has been told enough times but seems blinkered to him and his lies. I wish them both luck in the future especially the woman as if she gets back with him then she is certainly going to need it

Thanks again for all your help and advice, I'm going to live my life to the full, as they say you only have one shot at this xxxx

asking · Oct 28, 2009, 08:25 AM

Wow! You sound like you have really made some progress in the last couple of days. Be aware that you may have hard days ahead. But you can weather them. If you have any temptation to text him, just focus on getting through a few hours by distracting yourself and the impulse will pass. I'm glad going to see your nan was helpful. I'm sure she was glad to see you too.

Profile · Oct 28, 2009, 08:47 AM

Don't go back with him. He has proven that he is unfaithful and a pathilogical liar. That is not good for any relationship. Go out meet new people. You are single and you should be dating. Not worrying about someone you broke up with. That you know was no good.

louiseismyname · Oct 28, 2009, 08:54 AM

Originally Posted by asking

Wow! You sound like you have really made some progress in the last couple of days. Be aware that you may have hard days ahead. But you can weather them. If you have any temptation to text him, just focus on getting through a few hours by distracting yourself and the impulse will pass. I'm glad going to see your nan was helpful. I'm sure she was glad to see you too.

Thanks asking, yeah I've really done a lot of thinking in the past couple of days, I've had my phone off for 2 whole days now which is good for me lol! I turned my phone on to see if id got any messages and a text had come through from my ex saying "tell matthew that he has done it now" matt was my friend who told the woman about his lies and cheating. I just looked at the message and thought "i can't be arsed even answering your text so bog off" I deleted the text and turned my phone off.

It does feel like a big weight has been lifted as with my phone being off all the time I don't have to worry about this guy and his many problems. When my friend spoke to him via his face book page my ex was just making a big joke out of everything. My friend told him he needs to see a mental health specialist if he feels the need to lie about cutting himself and being admitted in hospital plus the other hundreds of lies he has told but he just replied "yes il book myself in then lol"

I feel sorry for the ex, he is a very lonely person and has drove a lot of people away with his lies but this ex girlfriend of his will probably stand by him, that's her decision, I've done all I can to help so its up to them to sort there mess out. Ive got my nan to worry about and look after, she starts her radiotherapy on Fri and is very scared :(:(

Thanks again for being so kind to me, it took a few attempts to make me see sense but you got there in the end ;);) xxx

amicon · Oct 28, 2009, 09:01 AM

Take care-lighting a candle for your nan-good luck.

louiseismyname · Oct 28, 2009, 09:04 AM

Thank you amicon, that means a lot to me. You are very kind xxx

asking · Oct 28, 2009, 09:11 AM

Hope you stick around Ask Me Help Desk and continue to post. :)
Good thoughts for your nan.

louiseismyname · Oct 28, 2009, 09:21 AM

Thanks asking - il stick around for sure. I won't lie - I'm hurting that I've been taken in by a liar but il get over it as I'm a better and nicer person than he will ever be. It just hurts that he said he loved me nearly everyday - I wonder if it was a lie or whether there was a little love there?? I suppose this is what happens when you give your heart to someone, there is always a risk of it getting trampled on eh!!

Thank you for your kind words on my nan, I was trying to stay positive for her and be there for her whilst taking the bull from my ex, the hurtful thing was, when I told him my nan had cancer and that I was distraught he didn't even text me back. That hurt me so so much and really showed me his true colours

louiseismyname · Oct 29, 2009, 03:13 PM

Just a quick update, I'm on day 5 of NC and feel great, I've not even any thought of texting the jerk, this NC works wonders, I don't even care if the ex and his lady get back today as its not my problem anymore. My nans going for her radiotherapy tomorrow so all that is important is her to me at the mo

Thanks again for all your words of encouragement it means a lot, I've realised I don't need a cheat and iar in my life xxx

kappachino · Oct 29, 2009, 03:54 PM

You must be off your rocker if you continue to associate yourself with this pondlife! End/

louiseismyname · Oct 30, 2009, 05:41 AM

Originally Posted by kappachino

You must be off your rocker if you continue to associate yourself with this pondlife!! End/

I don't know if you have read my posts but I'm well and truly finished with the pond scum, I have not contacted him for nearly week and I'm never going to contact him again. He is a waste of my time, I've spent so much time worrying over him and his lies :mad::mad:

amicon · Oct 30, 2009, 05:44 AM

Keep it up Louise you re doing great!:-)

I wish · Oct 30, 2009, 05:46 AM

Hopefully when you cool off, you won't have the urge to contact him again.

Here are so tips if you have the urge: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html

You can also always come back here and we'll support you!

Remember, if you contact him again, you will reset all the progress you'e made. Stay strong and don't give in!

louiseismyname · Oct 30, 2009, 06:00 AM

Thanks amicon and I wish - don't worry I won't be contacting me again, he said some really nasty things to his ex about me (called me a bunny boiler) just because I was texting him to see how he was after he said he cut himself because of me. He really was playing us both for fools wasn't he!!

kappachino · Oct 30, 2009, 06:08 AM

Yes he was, and well done for realising :) - you're worth more than that - we all are! - good luck!

louiseismyname · Oct 30, 2009, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by kappachino

Yes he was, and well done for realising :) - youre worth more than that - we all are! - good luck!

I realise now that I'm worth more than that but I'm still hurting by the way he treated me and saying horrible things like the bunny boiler to his ex :(:(

I was only texting him after he said that he had cut himself and was going to do something silly, he wanted the attention and I gave it to him and I got called a bunny boiler :(

I don't know how to over come this hurt, I try not too think about them together and do other things to keep myself busy, it just hurts so so much when you try and help someone and they repay you like this :(

Don't worry I'm not weakening, just having a weak moment, I've not any desire to contact him or her, they both deserve each other, I'm so better off without all that bull s**t in my life. My nan had her radiotherapy today and she is feeling better than she thought she would so that has cheered me up a bit. :)

amicon · Oct 30, 2009, 09:46 AM

Good news your nan s feeling ok-keep doing things that make you feel good-dont let his BS upset you.

louiseismyname · Oct 30, 2009, 10:11 AM

Thanks amicon, I try my best to forget him. In the past he has always come back to me but I think maybe this time will be different as he has never been as caught out like this before. I don't want to ever see his face again. The thought of the boy (not man) makes me sick in the stomach. Ive never felt this hatred for him before, I try not to let the hatred rule my life as then he has "won" so to speak.

Im trying hard to get on with my essay, its so hard to concentrate though. Im a strong person and I know I can get through everything that is happening to me at the moment, I just need to look to the future and be positive xxxx

louiseismyname · Nov 1, 2009, 04:10 AM

Just a quick little update, I'm on day 7 of NC and feel GREAT!! My friend told me that my ex has sent him a friend reuest on Facebook but he has just ignored it and deleted his account so I'm glad about that. I thought id have this burning desire to see if my ex and this woman will get back together but I don't funnily enough. Even if they are tgether then she deserves all she gets. I have a feeling the friend request by my ex to my friend was probably just to brag that he didn't succeed in breaking them up (that is how childish the ex is I'm afraid)

Anyway, I'm far to bust with my own life to wonder about them, I know one day he will come crawling back probably when he thinks its all forgotten but I won't reply to any of his contacts. Ive had my old phone off now for a week and I'm doing OK.

Thanks again for all your help xxx