[BrownDeceit]

No, my sis said nothing. I wanted to back hand her too and I could feel an argument prepairing to come out my mouth and I knew I was going to say some even more hurtful things to her in return. because I know how I can get and can sometimes have a bad temper, niece or no niece (she was about 15). but, they live in Cali and I was visiting only b/c my sis was having another baby. so I tried to keep reminding myself that I was leaving Cali within a week and some people are just ignorant and stupid. My sis is coming down next month and she has only seen the photos on my facebook from early this year when I was several shades lighter. Now I'm like rushing to get some of the results back or she'll think I photoshopped the picts or something...lol

I literally fear going to California. Only because there are so many light skinned and mixed girls there that are constantly getting praised. I'm so afraid I'll just simply get overlooked. :( I know my skin is lighter now and I like the pretty bronze caramel color, but some people especially people over there won't date you unless you're like Beyonce or Alicia Keys light! And 15? She could have handled a comment or two. Who cares. She wants to throw fire, she can get hit with it then too. But I must commend you on controlling your temper. And that's kind of funny. My mother's cousin (my mom is really close with her), always tries to hurry and lighten her skin before we go back to Sierra Leone every summer. It kind of reminds me of that. But yeah wouldn't want her to think you photoshopped the pics! That'd be embarrassing!

[Itss A New Day]

Tai18 your story really touched me and I am glad you have a happy ending to your story with successful lightening and now you can say eff all the haters. I know I would!

[weezing]

Omg! I'm so shocked at what I'm reading! Where are you guys from?? I live in Maryland and people only called me black (refering to skin) when they were mad at me or joking with me but I never had a problem getting a boyfriend. I know the black guys here are attracted to girls with nice bodies and who can dress well, they don't really pay attention to skin tone. But lightskinned girls can be rude es! Now this happened last month lol... my friend is gorgeous, lightskinned long pretty hair and big brown eyes and she introduced me to her new boyfriend who was very light. We walked arounf the mall and I walked behind them because I didn't want to be the third wheel lol they were flirting and hitting each other like loverbirds but I noticed he kept looking back at me. He finally looked at me and said why are you so quiet walk up here with us lol I started smiling. To make a long story short the 5th time we seen each other we exchanged numbers, I text him that night and he told me how bad he wanted me I was like omg what does he want with my black lol he told me he was actracted to me because I'm pretty and I can dress well and I keep my hair looking nice. He broke up with my friend and she found out about me. On her Facebook it says and I quote " he left me for that black monkey cotton pickin tramp. She wish she had a complexion like mines. I'm not even tripping nomore because I know there's plenty of guys out here that would die for a redbone" the funny thing is I didn't even like him and wanted to keep my friendship but after I read that, I was over it. It seems like a lot of lightskinned men are dating darkskinned girls and darkskinned men are dating darkskinned girks! I see it here and in hollywood.

[Itss A New Day]

I literally fear going to California. Only because there are so many light skinned and mixed girls there that are constantly getting praised. I'm so afraid I'll just simply get overlooked. :( I know my skin is lighter now and I like the pretty bronze caramel color, but some people especially people over there won't date you unless you're like Beyonce or Alicia Keys light! And 15? She could have handled a comment or two. Who cares. She wants to throw fire, she can get hit with it then too. But I must commend you on controlling your temper. And that's kind of funny. My mother's cousin (my mom is really close with her), always tries to hurry up and lighten her skin before we go back to Sierra Leone every summer. It kind of reminds me of that. But yeah wouldn't want her to think you photoshopped the pics! That'd be embarrassing!

Brown if I you like the men in NY I'm sure you would hate the men here. Trust me, you're better off. Yes there are many mixed races here and light women that it is hard to tell who is what anymore. Honestly and sadly it's a relief for me whenever I see a black person as dark skinned people are so rare here in my area.

[Itss A New Day]

OMG WEEZING! There would have been a MURDER if I would have read something like that about me on someone's Facebook! You are such a lady, seriously. I guess she forgot that her ancestors were the same "cotton picking monkeys" she speaks of. How sad. Feel sorry for her ignorance because in her mind her ignorance is bliss. Feel sorry for her AND pray fore the Child. Sad. I'm seriously shaking my head at this, and to blast her mental dwarfness on Facebook? How embarrassing for her.

[Itss A New Day]

Weezing I know the men in Maryland are a little more lenient with the whole color thing, but I get scared of Maryland men because most of the ones I've met are so Metro that it's like a competition between me and them. I have to be cuter than my b/f, sorry!

[dessaml]

I literally fear going to California. Only because there are so many light skinned and mixed girls there that are constantly getting praised. I'm so afraid I'll just simply get overlooked. :( I know my skin is lighter now and I like the pretty bronze caramel color, but some people especially people over there won't date you unless you're like Beyonce or Alicia Keys light! And 15? She could have handled a comment or two. Who cares. She wants to throw fire, she can get hit with it then too. But I must commend you on controlling your temper. And that's kind of funny. My mother's cousin (my mom is really close with her), always tries to hurry up and lighten her skin before we go back to Sierra Leone every summer. It kind of reminds me of that. But yeah wouldn't want her to think you photoshopped the pics! That'd be embarrassing!

I am from California, nobody really cares how light or dark you are. Unless you plan on going to Hollywood and becoming an actress its irrelevant... with anything there are extremes, a person who was the color of milk would get just as much flack as person who was the color of coal.

[Itss A New Day]

I am from California, nobody really cares how light or dark you are. Unless you plan on going to Hollywood and becoming an actress its irrelevent....with anything there are extremes, a person who was the color of milk would get just as much flack as person who was the color of coal.

Dessaml what part are you in? I am in SoCal

[sagluva]

Weezing I know the men in Maryland are a little more lenient with the whole color thing, but I get scared of Maryland men because most of the ones I've met are so Metro that it's like a competition between me and them. I have to be cuter than my b/f, sorry!

Lol yea. I'm from Maryland and the men here are metro.LOL.. I literally compete with my boyfriend about who dresses better when we go out smh lol

[sagluva]

Omg! I'm so shocked at what I'm reading! where are you guys from???I live in Maryland and people only called me black (refering to skin) when they were mad at me or joking with me but I never had a problem getting a boyfriend. I know the black guys here are attracted to girls with nice bodies and who can dress well, they don't really pay attention to skin tone. But lightskinned girls can be rude es! Now this happened last month lol...my friend is gorgeous, lightskinned long pretty hair and big brown eyes and she introduced me to her new boyfriend who was very light. We walked arounf the mall and I walked behind them because I didn't want to be the third wheel lol they were flirting and hitting eachother like loverbirds but I noticed he kept looking back at me. He finally looked at me and said why are you so quiet walk up here with us lol I started smiling. To make a long story short the 5th time we seen eachother we exchanged numbers, I text him that night and he told me how bad he wanted me I was like omg what does he want with my black lol he told me he was actracted to me because I'm pretty and I can dress well and I keep my hair looking nice. He broke up with my friend and she found out about me. On her facebook it says and I quote " he left me for that black monkey cotton pickin tramp. She wish she had a complexion like mines. I'm not even tripping nomore because I know there's plenty of guys out here that would die for a redbone" the funny thing is I didn't even like him and wanted to keep my friendship but after I read that, I was over it. It seems like a lot of lightskinned men are dating darkskinned girls and darkskinned men are dating darkskinned girks! I see it here and in hollywood.

Wow I'm so sorry u had to go through that. Some girls are just ignorant

[sagluva]

Not to offend anyone but i hear America is really racist, i live in Canada there isnt that much racism like out in the open between other races sometimes its "coded" were definitely cool with gays etc im bi racial (Black & Oriental) ive realized within the black community here the men have a self hating thing going on, all they talk about is light skin this light skin that and a LOT only want to date girls that are of other races if black she has to be "light skin" the funny thing is they arent even light skin themselves, anyway i started to lighten my skin honestly because of how black men treated me.

One time me and 2 friends were out 1 was about a shade lighter then alicia keys and not good looking rotten attitude pimples, stomach bigger then her boobs etc. the other was about nicole scherzingers color very snobby flat everywhere and some guy came over and said "hey my friends over there want to holler at you" pointed at my two friends right in front of me and said "Just you and you" he was about kelly rowlands color as well, I remember sitting in the lunch room and i heard two black guys talking in front of me one said about a girl across the room "dark skin girls shouldnt wear fish nets you can't see anything thats only for light skin girls" As soon as i would walk into a store they would follow me like they are my shadow while my lighter friend nothing, both a friend and i applied for a job at a clothes store that just opened that was "hiring" she had NO experience on her resume and i had 2 years experience she gets the job i go to visit her and ask them if they are still hiring she says yes and yells out and asks the manager "are we still hiring?" the manager at first said yes then said "hold on" then came all the way to the back where we were looked at me and said "No".

Im tired of Canada acting like there is no racism going on in this country almost every store only hires there own race,even if i have experience i can't get a job because im not the same race as the workers.Not even any point in trying.

High school was the absolute worst experience in LIFE so bad my mom took me out and made me do home schooling.The teachers were racist, one teacher i remember her putting all hispanics, blacks(if you were dark) straight to the back she even said to one student "i would love to hang you with a noose" of course she kept her job even after complaining , I once knocked on a door(@ school) with a dark friend to get something from a friend who is black but very light & looks another race the teacher out of nowhere angrily comes and slams the door right in my face along with my friend then the teacher yells out loud "be careful of the kind of friends you make".

Another time when i was about 10 at a friends birthday party one of my friends mother was there to pick her up since it was dark outside they asked her to give me a ride home since she lives 5 mins away from me her mom said "No its dark outside nobody is going to see her", Another friend invited me to her birthday party along with other friends her aunt looked at me and said to her "Next time make sure you tell me what kind of people you invite",

hmmm the list goes on what story should i tell next,

When i was about 11 i think i was at a friends house who was Oriental along with my friend who is bi racial(black and white) but was VERY light we were all having fun as soon as her father came home no hi nothing he calls her in the bedroom she comes out and tells me "Sorry you have to go because my dad doesnt like you kind of people __ can stay tho",

One time me & my mother were in our car a old white man parked up beside us and just kept waiting in his car he unlocked his door to come out and we unlocked our as well as soon as he saw us coming out he locked his door so fast and waiting until we were all the way in the store before he came out,

My lighter cousins were treated like royalty and called beautiful while i was always made fun of by my aunts & cousins they were treated like what they were kids and i was treated and spoken to like a adult or further more a stray dog. I guess a lot comes from my "child hood":/ also in music videos everyone is light all of the black singers that make it in the music industry are always light the dark ones never have a big career being darker skinned is always looked at as not attractive.

Since i have lightened my skin with HQ from Gabriel Unions color to literally Nicole scherzinger's or Tyra Banks a lot of men usually Hispanic,white, or Filipino men approach me a lot now, even black men try to talk to me and i wont give them the light of day. I really try not to judge all black men because i know all aren't like that but honestly its really hard because of the past.All the black men in my neighborhood have 200lbs+ white girlfriends walking around with bi racial babies yup i said it im sorry if i offend anyone. Ive also noticed i get treated a lot differently people walk pass and say your so beautiful they always smile i have no problem inside stores now my aunts & cousins try to be all nice to me saying your hair is so nice and long you have a nice nose and nice eyes (um? last time i checked i had all these things while i was darker) i cut them out of my life because of how mean they were to me i dont even go to any family dinners or anything. I guess in the end im happy but just need to get over the past.

sorry for such long and boring stories:)

Wow tai18 your story really touched me. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Funny most times its always family that have the nastiest things to say about color. Sometimes without knowing it hurts your feelings. I remember I started bleaching this year and when I found out my younger cousin has been bleaching since she was 13.. I was shocked. My aunt saw me when she came to visit this summer and was shocked to see that I was so fair. She told me to stop bleaching but funny since she has let her own daughter bleach since she was a kid.

[sagluva]

People say that there is so much racism in europe but growing up in london I never really experienced it. In 7th grade I thought I was a goddess.LOL. Had a lot of friends and had guys trying to talk to me. In 8th grade I moved to Maryland and I went to a predominantly white school. A lot of the white kids were fascinated by my accent but I realised a lot of them weren't really trying to be my friends. I didn't look like them. The few black kids who went to my school made fun of me for my accent, would whisper things behind my back and make me feel uncomfortable and wouldn't accept me either. Myself confidence went to an all time low. I made a few friiends but I wasn't used to the hate. Even the guys at school wouldn't pay me attention.
Went to high school and had the same problem. Lost my accent but still found it hard. All the cute black guys at my school only talked to the light skinned black girls or the hispanic/white girls. Even my best friend who was indian would see other dark skinned girls and make comments like omg she is so ugly and really dark. It made me wonder how she felt about me. I started bleaching this year when I went to college. Literally three months after I started to bleach, I noticed I was getting a lot of attention from guys and complimented by other girls. Even teachers were friendlier with me. My best friend always says things like you are so pretty and I remember the first time I hung out with my boyfriend, he would always say commments like you are so fair and tell me how he only used to date light skinned girls because they are pretty. Some of the girls who made fun of me in high school and middle school saw me at the mall with my friend and didn't recognize me and were trying to be my friend, complimenting me a lot. I was like wuteva because I am still the same person.. just lighter. I think bleaching gave me a lot of self confidence when I was around other people but I noticed I would still always compare myself to people who were lighter around me. I darkened since the summer since I stopped bleaching for three months and I feel like crap some days. Want the good feeling back. I hate taking pictures unless its around good light and I won't make a facebok till I achieve my complxion so that people don't ask me why I look darker in certain pics lol

[Golden_Girl]

Wow. Weezing then it was meant for they guy to talk with you in order to show your "friend's" true colors... that girl is mentally sick for broadcasting mess like that and is definitely a hater. She showed how evil she really was and how she really felt about you all along, but she smacked herself in the face with that one.

Tai that's really sad how family can cause more problems and refuse to acknowledge what they are doing to their own blood. But, in my honest opinion many a.a men are racist against their own and many times it has made me feel physically sick by my senior year in high school. But now, I don't even think twice about them or consider them as men... I know there are a very very limited amount that are not tainted and I was blessed to have brothers that are not that way. But majority are screwed.

It seems like many from the north in the U.S. are more normal and some in Cali as well. I really enjoy visiting Cali though and plan to go hopefully later next year. But in the South it seems many a.a men are braindead or brainless. And I know all lightskinned girls are not that way, although possibly majority are. But, I have had a few very close lightskinned friends who were not braindead and shallow. But, those in society are conditioned to think their gas don't stink and are placed on a pedestal. And those who are very dark seemed to be treated the worse by their own.

[BrownDeceit]

Okay so I've been talking to this new guy. And he is very attractive. Probably one of the most attractive guys I've ever spoken to. I've been trying to tell myself that he likes me for me, and it's beyond how I look and my skin complexion. But... Anyway. So everything is going fine. He's in my dorm room hanging out. Then he says something crazy. He was like "Yeah people with better hair are on a different level than people with nappy hair"... I was like... "? You're so ignorant. Get out of my room." And I kicked him out of my room. I think he thinks my hair is naturally curly and long, but it's a weave. Then he came back like an hour and a half later and apologized and everything was fine. We hung out and just talked for like another 4 hours. And he was so sweet. And he was talking about how he told his friends that I was a 9/10 and that I was gorgeous. And we were just talking about all types of things. And for the most part it was good. BUT like two or three times he said some stuff to put dark skinned people down. He was like "Oh yeah I was worried about you having a crush on my friend, but he's dark. So I ain't worried." I was thinking "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything because I'm so paranoid about that topic you know? And I didn't want to seem so uptight! And then we were looking at a picture of this dark skinned video girl and I was like "Oh my God she is GORGEOUS!" (she was really gorgeous!), and he goes "Oh but she dark though"... Again I was thinking , "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything. Then he said something AGAIN, for some reason we were talking about whoopi goldberg and he was like "she dark anyway"... WHAT-THE-HELL. Oh my God. He's like bow wows complexion and I'm like only one or two shades lighter than him. And his WHOLE family is all light skinned, he's the darkest one in his family and he's not even that dark. What is his family going to say when they meet me? I'm scared I'm not light enough. I'm caramel complected right now. Not like Alicia Keys light skinned. And I honestly don't want to be. I'm so stressed! And I'm still offended by what he said. I'm not dark skinned anymore, but I'm from Sierra Leone, and a lot of my family is dark skinned. And I don't appreciate him talking about them like that. It didn't make me feel good. And I know for a fact if I was darker he wouldn't like me. :( I still like him, but it's just a weird situation. You know?

[Golden_Girl]

He really said a mouthful all in one day about skin color and hair texture, it sais a lot about him and how he would react to your family and you as well when the time comes. But, you can try and teach him if hese willing, and help him broaden his mentality. Some people change and some don't, so if hese willing to change and grow then see where it goes from there. But, if he remains to have a closed mind then there will be little to do with him and he will only cause hurt. Time will tell.

[Hot Cocoa]

Hi BrownDeceit,

I just want to ask you, do you really think this guy would like you if you were darker? I know that everyone has his own taste but he does not just seem to like girls with light complexion, he seems to think being dark is like "committing a sin (lol)" However, I totally agree with Golden-Girl, you can teach him how to see things from a different perspective and he might eventually change his ways. Sometimes, ignorance is the reason behind the way people think, act, and talk. My boyfriend is white (Irish descent), I am West African from Ivory Coast; I successfully tought him that Africa is so much more than AIDS, wars, and starving children!

[MS-DI]

Hey guys oh my God I never knew it was like this I thought I was the only one always being called names and put down not only by outsiders but family as well I heard a lot of things like where did you come from how you darker than all of your family.

I never took it to heart as a kid but it does hurt real bad when you get called that I think its sily specialy the people am around to them being light is everything and I feel for all of you guys that have been called names just because of your skinn

Now at 19 am sick and tired of name calling it still happens I have been trying to change my skin colour now but I don't know where to start I want to do it because I think it would make me feel betta and be more confidence

I tried staying strong it sucks I gues it is what it is I gues the saying is true if you can beat them join them something like that

Its really bad but I don't know where to start and it sucks because look at the vedios on TV and magazine yeah they all black woman but with light shades I would apriciate any help from anyone I feel like I can connect with some of you guys after being called names and I never show it but I think am scard for life now

But please anyone that could help and some times I just need some one to understand and talk to I never opend up to anyone this my 1st time because I always though people would think am sily

Much apriciated

[sagluva]

Hey guys oh my God i never knew it was like this i thought i was the only one always being called names and put down not only by outsiders but family as well i heard alot of things like where did you come from how you darker than all of your family.

i never took it to heart as a kid but it does hurt real bad when you get called that i think its sily specialy the people am around to them being light is everything and i feel for all of you guys that have been called names just because of your skinn

now at 19 am sick and tired of name calling it still happens i have been trying to change my skin colour now but i dont know where to start i want to do it because i think it would make me feel betta and be more confidence

i tried staying strong it sucks i gues it is what it is i gues the saying is true if u can beat them join them something like that

its realy bad but i dont know where to start and it sucks because look at the vedios on tv and magazine yeah they all black woman but with light shades i would apriciate any help from anyone i feel like i can connect with some of you guys after being called names and i never show it but i think am scard for life now

but please anyone that could help and some times i just need some one to understand and talk to i never opend up to anyone this my 1st time because i always though ppl would think am sily

much apriciated

Wow sorry to hear all that. People can be really mean. Have u started lightening at all?

[sagluva]

Okay so I've been talking to this new guy. And he is very attractive. Probably one of the most attractive guys I've ever spoken to. I've been trying to tell myself that he likes me for me, and it's beyond how I look and my skin complexion. But... Anyway. So everything is going fine. He's in my dorm room hanging out. Then he says something crazy. He was like "Yeah people with better hair are on a different level than people with nappy hair" .....I was like.... "? You're so ignorant. Get out of my room." And I kicked him out of my room. I think he thinks my hair is naturally curly and long, but it's a weave. Then he came back like an hour and a half later and apologized and everything was fine. We hung out and just talked for like another 4 hours. And he was so sweet. And he was talking about how he told his friends that I was a 9/10 and that I was gorgeous. And we were just talking about all types of things. And for the most part it was good. BUT like two or three times he said some stuff to put dark skinned people down. He was like "Oh yeah I was worried about you having a crush on my friend, but he's dark. So I ain't worried." I was thinking "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything because I'm so paranoid about that topic you know? And I didn't want to seem so uptight! and then we were looking at a picture of this dark skinned video girl and I was like "Oh my God she is GORGEOUS!" (she was really gorgeous!), and he goes "Oh but she dark though" ........Again I was thinking , "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything. Then he said something AGAIN, for some reason we were talking about whoopi goldberg and he was like "she dark anyway" ....WHAT-THE-HELL. Oh my God. He's like bow wows complexion and I'm like only one or two shades lighter than him. And his WHOLE family is all light skinned, he's the darkest one in his family and he's not even that dark. What is his family going to say when they meet me? I'm scared I'm not light enough. I'm caramel complected right now. Not like Alicia Keys light skinned. And I honestly don't want to be. I'm so stressed! And I'm still offended by what he said. I'm not dark skinned anymore, but I'm from Sierra Leone, and a lot of my family is dark skinned. And I don't appreciate him talking about them like that. It didn't make me feel good. And I know for a fact if I was darker he wouldn't like me. :( I still like him, but it's just a weird situation. You know?

Hopefully you can help him to change but think about this. What if you start to date him anf fall in love with him and he finds out that your hair is not real, are you sure his feelings or views on you won't change? Hopefully things work out for u. there is hope for everyone and I believe eveyone can change.

[MS-DI]

wow sorry to hear all that. people can be really mean. have u started lightening at all?

That's so true this world is full of cruel people but what can we do
I did Start a year ago using some products I don't even remember the name then I gave up because I didn't see no change at all I want to start now but I don't know where to start to be honest.how about you have been lightening