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tiara robyn · Oct 26, 2009, 02:40 PM

I ended a happy relationship with the love of my life, what happened is that he got redundant and things were al fine but he just started changing, he could make it to most events we planned to go to, didn't show up for my birthday and in as much as I understood his situation I felt this void and it was stressing me out I felt I wasn't able to do anything to help him, any way I told him I would give him space to sort himself out and that I would always be there for him and we have kept in touch since then, but its like we do not talk as much as we used to and I just miss him soooooooo much , I compare all the guys I see with him and he was my prince charming, I do not even know what he is up to knowwing him he is just quiet he goes in an isolation mode sometimes. What should I ?

redhed35 · Oct 26, 2009, 02:50 PM

Why would you end a happy relationship with the love of your life because things got a little sticky?

I wonder if he feels that you bailed out just when he needed you the most..

Either get a straight answer from him or leave him alone..

How do you think he feels?

Do you think he could trust you again?

Hindsight is a great thing,it makes you see what you had and what you threw away.

It may be the case that he does not want you around any more.

He lost his job and got dumped,that's a crusher,and hard to recover from.

Gemini54 · Oct 26, 2009, 03:10 PM

I agree with Red, perhaps he thinks you weren't there when he needed you.

Losing a job can be soul destroying for some people, and the behavior you describe sounds a lot like grief or depression.

Why don't you go out for meal together and talk about what happened. You might try listening to how he feels and what his experience has been, rather than making it about you. Test the waters and if he seems agreeable start doing more things together.

Relationships are about providing your partner with love and support in times of need. This might be a good lesson for your next relationship.

tiara robyn · Oct 26, 2009, 05:51 PM

Thank you redhed and gemini..

Its clear between us that we did not break up because he was jobless, I stayed in touch I only gave him space. The ex actually thanked me later on for that he said that that was the space he needed and all, that's when he also told me that he missed me and hoped that things would get back to normal but I was to angry and hurt, I thought about how he could do it again and the pain I would go through so I protected my heart and did not finish that conversation. But then time went on and the subject never comes up its like I have lost him!? Did I mess it up for myself or is there a chance that maybe we could work things out together? Should I ask him about it or just act it. I know he is single and I miss him so much.. what worries me now, is the sister who recently asked me about the break up? She said she did not know that we were not together and he had just told them last week (this happened in february)so could that be a sign that he has moved on emotionally?

Gemini54 · Oct 26, 2009, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by tiara robyn

thank you redhed and gemini..

Its clear between us that we did not break up because he was jobless, i stayed in touch i only gave him space. The ex actually thanked me later on for that he said that that was the space he needed and all, thats when he also told me that he missed me and hoped that things would get back to normal but i was to angry and hurt, i thought about how he could do it again and the pain i would go through so i protected my heart and did not finish that conversation. but then time went on and the subject never comes up its like i have lost him!?? did i mess it up for my self or is there a chance that maybe we could work things out together?? should i ask him about it or just act it. i know he is single and i miss him soo much.. what worries me now, is the sister who recently asked me about the break up? she said she did not know that we were not together and he had just told them last week (this happened in february)so could that be a sign that he has moved on emotionally??

Why can't you ask him these questions? You have nothing to lose. Re-establish the connection and talk to him. At least you'll know one way or another and put your mind at rest. If he has moved on, then at least you can start to do so as well.