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NicWilliams8o0 · Oct 26, 2009, 06:27 AM

Hi,

My husband and I have been married just shy of one year. He is 23 and I am 22.. we found out about 3 months ago that I am pregnant and couldn't be happier as we had been trying for a child. We had a very active sex life before the pregnancy but with my hormones up and down I haven't been in the mood as much as I used to be.. but latley whenever we have sex he doesn't anymore.. I figured it should be the other way around considering we don't have sex as often he should be bursting. We've never had any problems before.. in fact it used to be he would in 5 minutes or less. I've tried everything.. different positions, sexy outfits, oral.. nothing seems to make a difference.. and to be frank its making me depressed.. I feel unwanted.. like maybe it's the weight gain of the pregnancy or he's bored and I know it makes the situation worse but I can't help it.. its making me not want to try anymore so I don't have to feel horrible afterwards.. we've talked about it and he feels bad and swears its nothing to do with me but I just can't help how I feel... I love him so much but I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?

J_9 · Oct 26, 2009, 06:31 AM

This is actually very common. Many men have a hard time having intercourse with their pregnant wives. It is more of a mental thing. They think they may "hurt" the baby, or they look at their wives as a mother figure instead of a sexual being.

This will pass in time, just be patient with him.

Gemini54 · Oct 26, 2009, 02:59 PM

Backing off a little might help - you're both still very young and having a child is a big thing. Men respond differently to women about these things.

Try not to take it personally. Talk to him, reassure him and give him time.

smoothy · Oct 27, 2009, 11:34 AM

If he can be convinced he isn't going to dent the kids head or poke its eyes out... perhaps you can make the most of your temporary condition.

It's a mental block he has... and it can be overcome.

DSM521 · Oct 27, 2009, 09:53 PM

Okay speaking for a guys point of view you see your wife in a different light when she is "with child". Me and my wife have had four children and I can say that when she was pregnant with our first child I did see her differently. I was still attracted to her, loved her very much but there was just something different, especially after she started to show more. I never had a problem with well getting off for a lack of better terms but I was very timed and did not know how to approach it.

Don't hold it against him too much as you guys are still very young as me and my wife were when we had our first child. I know it sounds strange but sex for a guy (with someone he loves) is much more than just sex. It's a connection, a feeling of being wanted, a much deeper connection than just sex. When you add the pregnant part it starts a whole new set of feelings that a new Father to be never knew he had. Look at it like this. He loves you so much, and has such great feeling for you and his child to be it brings up new feelings he never knew he could feel or had.

Its not really a bad thing. Trust me. Its more of a caring, emotional feeling that he has never felt before that he is dealing with. It really does not have much to do with you, more him but in a good way.