[Caty1973]

Well I have this friend. He is great but every time we spend time together we end up kissing that leads to more. We have this wild attraction that always pulls us together... can't help it. I have not seen him in months because it is too overwhelming for me and I start thinking too much which gives me a heavy aching feeling in my chest. I guess I should add that I have not dated in a while but even when I have dated, if he is around its hard to not pay attention. For some reason we have never made it official. I am scared of him hurting me with his free spirit that he has. I am a free spirit too and I woulden't want him any other way as it is part of his charm and what makes him who he is. At the same time we always seem to be in relationships so basically when I'm single he's not and vise versa. So now he spend the night last night. It was great. This morning I was fine but as the afternoon went by I started feeling sad. I haven't called him. I woulden't know what to say right now. He hasn't called either. Why do I feel this way? What is it with him. Why do I do this to myself?

[redhed35]

So your just a booty call for each other.. its been going on so long that you both have gotten to know each other,great sex,things to catch up on,tea and toast afterwards, then off he goes on his merry way.

If you both have been in relationships and not seen each other,then calling him a 'free spirit' is just an excuse... if he has not asked you out on a date,has not made any commitment to you,then your just a shag when it suits him.. he likes you enough to get his rocks off but not enough to be his girlfriend..

If you want to call him,say, hey,I fed up of being just a shag,do you want to take it to the next level?

What do you think he will say?

How about ' but what's wrong with what were doing'

Or.

'i really like you,you mean a lot to me,but I don't think a relationship would work'

Any of these things really mean... your a great shag,but no thanks.

So, to sum up... are you happy being booty call? If you are,fine. If not.. stop! And move on with your life.

Without this emotional upheavel every time you see him,the further away you are from the situation the easier you will see it for what it really is.

[Caty1973]

Thanks for the wake me up. I really don't want to call him. I really like him but because he is the way he is. Even if we were together he would cheat on me and I would feel worse.

[redhed35]

Thanks for the wake me up. I really don't want to call him. I really like him but because he is the way he is. Even if we were together he would cheat on me and I would feel worse.

Sounds like you know this guy pretty well if you can predict a future with him and what it would be like..


Pick yourself up, shake him off and get on with your life.

The longer he is in your life the harder it will be you for to move on and meet someone who will treat you right.

Its just lust you feel when you see him.. lust fades... real fast when there is nothing else to back it up.

[Caty1973]

My problem is that its really hard for me to really really like some one. I have 2 older kids and maybe that's why. I have had relationships but I tend to get frustrated as it moves on. Maybe bored. I have not met some one I trully want to work for. When I have met some one that actually does I tend to get scared of doing something to screw it up or scared of getting hurt. I guess its not the right time for me. Anyway back to the subject. I will not call him. I will stop thinking about him. I will move on. Its not like he's been a big part of my life. We rarely talk anyway. Its just that the rare time I do have contact with him, I become blinded.

[redhed35]

I bet we have matching t-shirts!

Its hard being a single parent,and its hard finding someone that you can find a connection with,even if it is just sex.

Can I ask if you have other friends and go out?

Do you have any hobbies or interests?

[Caty1973]

I have a job that I like. Don't make a lot of money and should look for something better but I get to talk to a lot of people and I am great with people. I go to the gym some times. I love it and it makes me feel great but have been slacking off lately :( I have friends and I do go out once in a while. It is always a blast but try to keep that under control or it can become an ddicition for me. Especially karaoke and love concerts!

[redhed35]

Its sounds like you get out and about,enjoy your life and your friends,you don't need this guy as dead weight.