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madraving20 · Oct 23, 2009, 01:30 PM

I've been friends with her for years and have always had feelings for her, but she doesn't have them back, its blaringly obvious, I'm told, but she doesn't want anything to do with me... feeling very low about everything at the moment and this really isn't helping

Scleros · Oct 23, 2009, 01:41 PM

Been there, done that, don't recommend it. Perhaps you're stronger, however for your own sanity and mental health, consider discontinuing your relationship with her.

Jonny Glitter · Oct 23, 2009, 02:22 PM

There is always the possibility of a positive outcome here, or one in your favor, rather. However, it depends on if you're willing to play "the game" or not. If you are, I'll continue. If not, then I digress.

I wish · Oct 23, 2009, 03:14 PM

It happens. Find someone else who feels the same way. The more time you spend on someone that doesn't want you, the less time you have to spend with someone who feels the same way.

Enigma1999 · Oct 23, 2009, 03:50 PM

Hello M,

Don't feel bad or low about it.. These things happen. The above poster is correct. Don't focus on someone that doesn't want a relationship with you and focus on someone who does.

Your time will come, where you will find that person who will love, respect, and appriecieate you for who and what you are.

Maybe you should rethink your frindship with her..

I too have been in a similar situation where I was friends with someone who wanted more out of it.. I simply had to end the friendship, because it was affecting both of us and I didn't want to mislead.

I wish you luck my friend.

awesomo1111 · Oct 23, 2009, 10:24 PM

Been there and done that as well. I've been on both ends...

For about a year I too had a friend who I liked who didn't like me back - I never told him though. He ended up moving away and we don't talk anymore. In the end, I think that was good for my sanity!

I've had many experiences, though, where I had a friend (who I thought was just platonic) admit that they had a crush on me. And, well, the friendship changes after that - it's awkward. Don't tell her of your feelings. She may get resentful and think "was he just pretending he was friends with me to get with me?" (I'm sure you're not a scumbag or anything, but trust me, I know girls think that way.)

In the meantime, realize that this girl isn't the be all and end all of the universe. You can't win 'em all, as the saying goes. Sure, you may like this girl, but by no means devote all your romantic energy towards her. Find a new crush! I think that you're probably young and all (and romantic feelings and crushes are SUPER ultra powerful at that age). This crush is a loss, but it's her loss. You have a lot of good things to offer.

To feel better, work on yourself. Do something that makes you feel more confident and manly. Maybe perfect a skill, like learning an instrument or something. Or you could join a club, work out, chop down a tree, whatever (see the sticky here on "what to do after a breakup" for more ideas). Yes, it feels like crap when someone rejects you, but to another girl, you could be nothing less than a sex god.

Keep in touch.

talaniman · Oct 23, 2009, 11:52 PM

At some point you have to just quite trying to get something that wasn't meant for you.

emopunk7 · Oct 24, 2009, 01:47 AM

You have to think here. This is how it is. Do you want a friendship with her? Or do you only want a friendship just to get closer to her? If friendship is more important then you have to just let it evolve on its own and see if she tries grabbing your hand or hugs you or tells you so. If you really care more for a romantic relationship with her (and if not that, then you won't mind having nothing with her) then let her know. It's a choice you have to make and deal with the outcome. I wish you luck!