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    RickJ's Avatar
    RickJ Posts: 7,762, Reputation: 864
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    #1

    Oct 23, 2009, 03:41 AM
    Corn Maze for Michigan Fans
    You would be surprised how many still get lost! :)

    GO BUCKS!
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    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #2

    Oct 23, 2009, 04:24 AM
    I was not expecting that. LOL!
    RickJ's Avatar
    RickJ Posts: 7,762, Reputation: 864
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    #3

    Oct 23, 2009, 04:33 AM

    Q: What's the difference between a University of Michigan fan and a carp?
    A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

    Q: How many University of Michigan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

    Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
    A: On the University of Michigan campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

    Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Michigan weddings?
    A: To keep the flies off the bride.

    Q: Why don't University of Michigan fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
    A: Because cats keep covering them up.

    A University of Michigan fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

    Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
    A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

    Two University of Michigan fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first University of Michigan fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it." The first University of Michigan fan asks, "Why not?" The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

    Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
    A: A visitor.

    Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?
    A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

    Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Michigan's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
    A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

    Q: Do you know why the University of Michigan football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?
    A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

    Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Michigan campus?
    A: The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board.

    Q: What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?
    A: Drool.

    Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a University of Michigan?
    A: Six more weeks of bad football.

    Q: What should you do if you find three University of Michigan fans buried up to their neck in cement?
    A: Get more cement.

    General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, "then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?" After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."

    Q: How do you make University of Michigan cookies?
    A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig?
    A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

    Q: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None, it's a sophomore course.


    All in good fun, of course! :)
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #4

    Oct 23, 2009, 07:58 AM

    I take it you don't care for U of Michigan very much.

    I did laugh out loud very loud on the corn maze though.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #5

    Oct 23, 2009, 08:11 AM

    I lived in Michigan for a number of years, so the corn maze post doesn't surprise me. I actually considered it culture shock for a year or two, coming from Canada. I got used to their ways in our farming community. Especially the wild game dinners at the end of hunting season, which included roast bear, fried bear, stewed bear and actually anything else that looked like road kill, but there was always lots of beer, so that made up for the evening. Then we all went home on tractors. I was always actually glad of that cause no one wanted to be in a car with a bunch of flatulent farmers.:eek:

    Tick
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #6

    Oct 23, 2009, 08:42 AM

    Hilarious!! Penn State is going to kick the Shhhh out of them tomorrow.
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
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    #7

    Oct 23, 2009, 01:23 PM
    Harsh!:eek: but oh so funny.:)
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
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    #8

    Oct 23, 2009, 01:47 PM

    I enjoyed them. Thanks
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
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    #9

    Oct 23, 2009, 01:58 PM
    Guilt ridden laughs here, Rick.
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #10

    Oct 23, 2009, 01:58 PM

    Nice...

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