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almosthaditall · Oct 22, 2009, 04:13 PM

I was with my boyfriend four years. We got along well and had tons in common. I ended up moving with him across the country to his hometown with him. His friends and Family didn't like me. They placed a lot of pressure on him to leave me. He is very impressionable, shy, and requires a lot of acceptance from the people around him. When we dated it was like he lived two lives... the one with us and the one he shared with his friends and family. He told me that he feels like two different people and he doesn't know wich path to choose. He says that being with me is amazing and we get along so amazing but he doesn't know how to handle judging eyes of his friends and family. He often said he needed space. This past time he said he neeeded space,for my first time I told him that I can no longer sit in limbo waiting for him to decide about us. I told him it was unfair. I told him I was moving on. I really do think we were meant for each other and almost had it all... we were fine until the outside influences. I miss him tons... did I make the right choice by moving on?

Please help I am so lost.

paxe · Oct 22, 2009, 04:27 PM

Why does his family and friend hate you? There must be a reason.

almosthaditall · Oct 22, 2009, 04:32 PM

He told them I am Transgender female. He was sure they would accept it since I was already close with all of them. I am started my transition very young and you would never be able to tell. They pretty much threw the bible at us.

Sprung09 · Oct 22, 2009, 04:38 PM

I have an ex who's family hated me with a passion. I finally had to compare myself to his family to know what the right choice was whether I like it or not. Well his family will be their for the rest of his life, blood is thicker than water, so maybe instead of you having to compare yourself to his family and justify why you should be with, just think that family never goes away...

Sorry that you are going through this, transgender is so common now a days that it should not be something his family judges you by, but sometimes people don't see the good IN people, they only see what they want. Don't hurt your feelings over this when happiness could be right around the corner.

paxe · Oct 22, 2009, 04:41 PM

Wow, some people do live in the 15th century after all. Don't worry, they are at fault to having mistreated you because of WHO you are. You have done right and if he can't stand up to them, then he is at fault also because you have done nothing wrong.

You just need to continue No Contact and heal yourself. You'll find someone who trully deserves you and who will make you happy.

Sprung09 · Oct 22, 2009, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by paxe

Wow, some people do live in the 15th century after all. Don't worry, they are at fault to having mistreated you because of WHO you are. You have done right and if he can't stand up to them, then he is at fault also because you have done nothing wrong.

You just need to continue No Contact and heal yourself. You'll find someone who trully deserves you and who will make you happy.

I agree Paxe, you just said it all...

talaniman · Oct 24, 2009, 08:04 AM

If you really didn't want the outside influences, or pressure, you should have kept them out of your personal business. That's the downfall of a lot of couples, having people know too much of your personal business. Doesn't matter what the business is.

Sorry you had to end it because he couldn't handle the pressure. But it was the right thing to do.