[missjamilton]

Moved to its own thread

I am with the most amazing guy in the world! Trust me... its true! We have a complicated situation as I am divorced with three children and he has a daughter that is the victim of a one night stand and he didn't even know she existed until she was about 5 months old. He never wanted a family life or children, he is perfectly fine living life alone. We all live together now and this is the closest we will ever be to married. I really want to get married again... for the right reasons this time. The first time was due to unplanned pregnancy and a lot of other complicated issues. I could write a book on all of that... He has never wanted this as he believes that marriage leads to divorce. It sucks really. I feel like marriage is the ultimate commitment and an expression to the rest of the world what someone else means to you. I cannot make him marry me... but it does make me wonder if I should stay or let go of the first person I have ever truly loved...

[talaniman]

I can understand you wanting that ultimate commitment, but your with a guy who doesn't agree with you on that. I don't know how long you have been together, but I do know that married or not, what you build together is what counts.

Having said that, the question you have to answer is if he is worth giving up your dream for? Keep in mind, you have been down that road before. Do you live together now?

If your happy together, and have a good loving home for your kids, why rock that boat over a personal preference? I think you weigh the having the bird in hand, over having the one in the bush.

[Ash123]

You all have a lot already. If it's real you don't need a piece of paper. If you truly don't care about the marriage... you may find one day he just might... no guy likes to be pressured - and you have a lot going on and timing isn't right. What's more important is that your relationship is real and honest and you communicate. I am wondering if deep down you sense this might all not work out and that's why you want the marriage right now.

[Justwantfair]

If he is perfectly fine living alone and never wanted a family - you are a ready made package... why did you choose to live together in the first place?

He is already making concessions against what he really wants, if you are not content with these concessions then it is time to move on. It will not get easier to marry when you are not on the same page about marriage. He is not going to jump to marry the woman he is already living like he is married with.