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HotPotato2009 · Oct 21, 2009, 06:34 AM

We don't clock in at my job. We type our time into the computer and save it. And you can put your time in at any time of the time of the day.

I'm not doing what my boss does. I do try to leave on time but it seems like every morning my something happens as I'm getting dressed.

This is just something I need to work on by myself. I'm not happy about it but I don't need someone telling met this.

Maybe I'll start going to be at 10 from now on

adam_89 · Oct 21, 2009, 06:39 AM

I don't understand that last part. What about 10? I understand how things happen when you are trying to get ready and it delays you. We can't expect them to happen but we can try to prepare for them. Just calmly tell him that you are trying to work on it but you can do it on your own. Leave it at that and try not to start an argument over it.

HotPotato2009 · Oct 21, 2009, 06:44 AM

I meant maybe I'll start going to bed at 10:00 pm at night from now on. Earlier than usual.

No I wouldn't start an argument about that. That's stupud. My whole thing is "i already know, dont remind me". That's all.

adam_89 · Oct 21, 2009, 06:52 AM

Well, make it clear to him. It shouldn't be to hard. I get up at 6 every morning because I started coming to work at 7. I go to bed around 10 or 11 every night and I'm usually not late.

I wish · Oct 21, 2009, 07:08 AM

He's just the type of guy who likes to be punctual, whether your boss cares or not. If you can be late for work, who knows what else you can be late for. You can't blame him for his personality trait and boiling it over to you. Just like he can't blame you for being the type of person who is late.

You need to have a better communication system between the two of you. Both of you have to realize that you're two different people, though you might mean well for each other, you're still independent from one another with independent character traits.

HotPotato2009 · Oct 21, 2009, 07:22 AM

Girls are way different than guys though. We want to make sure out outfits are good before we walk out the door. I don't have a lot of winter clothes so that makes it hard for me pick something out to wear. And it doesn't make it any better working at a job that is below 50 degrees.

kctiger · Oct 21, 2009, 07:26 AM

Proper planning can prevent poor performance... old management adage that applies here. I know plenty of women that are passionate about ensuring they show up early to work so they can start their day. I don't think this is a gender issue. I work in a professional corporate environment and I can assure you I care about how I look just as much as the women do.

Either way, I do think it boils down to communication between yourself and your boyfriend.

I wish · Oct 21, 2009, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by HotPotato2009

Girls are way different than guys though. We want to make sure out outfits are good before we walk out the door. I dont have alot of winter clothes so that makes it hard for me pick something out to wear. And it doesnt make it any better working at a job that is below 50 degrees.

That's a HUGE generalization. Some guys take longer to get ready. Some girls are even faster than boys.

The point is, if you knowthat you're the type of person who takes longer to get ready, then start getting ready sooner. It's called: "time management".

This is not a court of law. There's no right or wrong. You can be as late as you want. If you don't mind being late, then that's your business. You just need to make it clear to your boyfriend that being punctual is not your priority and he will have to learn to accept your personality. Again, communication is key.

talaniman · Oct 21, 2009, 07:33 AM

You seem easily irritated, and it spills over into your whole day. That's something you must be able to express to your boyfriend, so he can adjust to it, and give you a chance to adjust to him. Don't be mad at him for having your best interests at heart, he also has a vested interest in your success too.

Try to understand your being late for work may be irratating to him.

HotPotato2009 · Oct 21, 2009, 07:35 AM

Yeah I know that. It just doesn't always work out that way. I don't think anyone would understand anything not unless they were actually here with me to see it

I appreciate his concern but he doesn't have to say as if he's my father.

I don't think its irritating to him. Cause if it does he doesn't show it.

talaniman · Oct 21, 2009, 12:27 PM

Honest constructive dialog may prove you wrong. Back in the early days I can remember my wife telling me not to act like her father, so I had to make adjustments to how I convey my concerns. Okay, I'll confess, she still reminds me when I get close to the line, and piss her off, LOL some guys just need reminding. (gently of course, or the EVIL EYE works just as well)

HotPotato2009 · Oct 22, 2009, 09:05 AM

Lol... Well guess what everyone?! I was on time for work this morning!! YAH!! I pushed myself to do it, though I was still sleepy and not wanting to get out of bed. My boyfriend said he was proud of me.

talaniman · Oct 22, 2009, 04:53 PM

So am I.

HotPotato2009 · Oct 23, 2009, 01:03 PM

Thank you... I was on time today too as a matter of fact.

talaniman · Oct 23, 2009, 10:41 PM

Hmmm, seems to be a new pattern emerging. That's good. Has it made a difference in your days?

emopunk7 · Oct 24, 2009, 01:18 AM

This girl is funny. My girlfriend was similar to you, which is why we didn't work. I was always blamed for everything even though I had the best intentions. She was always wanting to know who text me or who is calling late and I would tell her all the time quickly. What happened when I asked her? She would eventually show it but with a big fight of how I don't trust her. What a double standard all the time. Yet I dealt with it but somehow she couldn't and dumped me after all.

I hope you don't do the same. Don't let little things bother you and remember the good the two of you have. Also, a big one for me which is why my relationship ended... DONT DO ANYTHING YOU Wouldn't LIKE DONE TO YOURSELF. My ex did and well I couldn't understand and I did something back and now we are over. I feel bad everyday but at the end, I know its her fault for doing something for the 3rd time that she would have dumped me if I did it once. Go figure.

HotPotato2009 · Oct 26, 2009, 06:24 AM

Yes Talaniman it does make a difference. I don't have to rush to do anything lol. Which is great!!

And Emo, I don't nag my boyfriend about who texts him. The only time I ask is if I feel he's being sneaky. And I don't pick fights with him. Yes I do get mad at some things that he does but not enough to start a fight. I like to avoid those as much as possible.

My relationship with my boyfriend is great!! We live in a efficiency! Which is no bigger than a hotel room lol. Been living there for 4 years! We barely argue. But we eventually make up within the next hour or so lol. Cause its not like we have another room to go to. We just have a little communication problem is all. Something that we both need to work on.

I wish · Oct 26, 2009, 06:30 AM

Sounds like great progress! Keep it up!

If you ever have problems again, you know where to find u!

Maybe you could tell us what you've done to help you get to work on time? It could help others knowing what you did for this success story!

As for the communication issues with your boyfriend. It doesn't happen overnight, it's a process. But as long as there's progress, you will feel more optimistic!

HotPotato2009 · Oct 26, 2009, 06:42 AM

I just started going to be a little bit earlier. Though to me doesn't always help cause I love to sleep lol. But I started going to bed a little earlier and in the morning when my alarm goes off I try not to hit the snooze button. I try to get out the bed when the alarm goes off the first time. That snooze button will get you into trouble lol! But I'm still working on it. Its only been 3 days! But so far so good!

Yea there is some progress in the communication. Its definitely going to take some time cause its hard for me to open up to people. Don't know why its so hard with my boyfriend. I been with him for 4 years! You would think I'd have it by now. But I'm taking it a day at a time

HotPotato2009 · Feb 8, 2010, 10:39 AM

Hello!

My finace and I are about to purchase a car within the next couple of months. I just received my w2s and was planning to use the money that I got back to get my own car. And my fiancé was going to use his bonus to get a car.

Now we have talked about the car thing and we were going to just share the car (at least for now) which does seem smart to me. Notice, we both have different work shifts. The way we were thinking to work it out was... if he has to go into work late, he takes me to work. And if he has to go into work before me, I take him to work. I have a set schedule. Seems like it will work to me.

What do you guys think? You think that would be fine to share or does getting my own car sound like the better decision?