[lollipops]

OK I miss my boyfried we were together for 4 years and we broke up last October he has a new girlfriend now and we don't see each other anymore because he says its not farir on her! What can I do to get him back its been really hard without him I love him soooooooooo much!!

[Wildcat21]

Check this website out:

www.lovetactics.com - read the articles.

These are NOT games but, real emotional and Psycological tactics people need to fall in love.

Couple questions:

Why did you break up? Who did it?

Where you TOO Clingy/needy?

Was he the #1 most important thing in your life?

Did you call him ALL the time and e-mail?

Did you stand your ground and disagree with him, or did you try and keep things 'happy'?

There are tactis/rules YOU MUST do for the rest of your life to keep the #1 person in your life interested.

Are STILL too available?? People want what they can't have. People want what they can't have. Consider dating - it most likely will drive him crazy. If you asked for him back, this might have been a major tactical error - You need to give him the gift of missing you.

Were you emotionally indepent of him?? Did you think of him all day long? Did you work, workout, have friends, family, hobbies?

IT's HARD to regain a lost love - you have to be 1000% committed. Do you love this man? Is he "Mr. Right" or "Mr. Right Now"? If he is it - then proceed.

[ladyandjan]

Did you love him too much that is suffocated him? Were you or did you try to be w/him 24/7? Men need their own space just as we women do-hopefully that's not what you did but if so maybe he just had enough and wanted some breathing room and you were afraid to let him have it. Remember when you love something let it go and if it comes back it was yours to keep and if not it wasn't yours in the first place.

[Wildcat21]

I know for a fact you CAN get your lover back.

BUT, you have to change. Get rid of the neediness etc.

Me personally - I was in love with a woman a 5 years ago. Every thing was great the first couple months - then I became a "nice guy" - clingy, needy, calling all the time, being WAY too nice and agreeable, buying her effection, Too many compliments, etc. - that person is NOT your life

We broke up because of ME!! Understand ME!!

I had to drastically change. I have a guru, life coach - learned how to deal with woman. I had NO idea what a "nice guy" was until I met this guy and read his book and read his blog. He showed how I was living my life in Oblivian.

I hit the gym EVERY day.

My work became MORE important.

Hung with my friends.

Spent a LOT of time with my family.

Hit my hobbies VERY hard.

Stayed in touch - but NOT every day. Sent cards occasionally. Called maybe once a week or less. E-mail once a month. Slowly I incresed contact.

DATED!! Yes - went on dates - never had any attraction - but she found out. (good thing)

She had heard about my changes - and her interest level slowly shot up!! Slowly shot up!! I did win her back.

You have to change.

You need to become their friend - hard to do - they become skeptical at first... gain trust... you then have to gain their respect - Independence is key...

You can gain oyur love back if you are 100% into it.

You need patience and have to understand it Won't happen tomorrow. Time is on your side. Improve yourself.