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lady_amazon · Oct 19, 2009, 09:52 AM

I got to start saying that my boyfriend and I are together for 2 yrs now. I just found out from my bf's cell phone, that he has another child. After being so upset I ask him about it and he flips it saying, its my fault for going through his cell phone.
I end up talking to his daughter's mom and he gets mad because we are talking. I find out that the little girl is 5 months younger then my son! I'm humiliated and heart broken over this. He explains telling me it was a mistake and he didn't mean for any of it to happen that he was drunk and the girl provoked him. In other words he said if he was a girl it would have been considered rape because it was not willing that he wanted to have sex with this girl. Yet, I find out they were friends for a long time and he is really good friends with her family.
He said he is embarrassed because her family is Muslim and is so nice to him that he respects them and can't come to terms to tell them what really happened.
He hid it from me because the girl told him she wasn't going to have the baby and 8 months later he sees her and she is pregnant with his child.
He told me he is in love with me and that for months he been trying to avoid the situation because he was sooo angry about it. He was in tears crying to me he said he needs me and apologized for not telling me,but how can I make it work between us?? I feel so betrayed! I trusted him and he did me wrong!
Now he got 3 children and they are all by different women~
I truly do love him but how do I know he is serious about making us work and how can I possibly forgive him. Is there such a thing as giving a cheater a 2nd chance?? Or should I move on for my sons sake!

KymberJean · Oct 19, 2009, 10:14 AM

Girl don't even take him back!

amicon · Oct 19, 2009, 10:28 AM

Your priority must be your children who should be brought up in a stable home.
Your boyfriends tendency to go out and multiply so to speak and cheat on you is contradictory to stability.
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Get child support and custody sorted and tell him to leave.

talaniman · Oct 19, 2009, 01:23 PM

Lying to cover up cheating, is a deal breaker in my book, and he even lied about the circumstances (raped my..! ) so no I wouldn't take him back, why?

Just curious, why were you looking through his phone? Was there something that made you suspicious?

jmjoseph · Oct 19, 2009, 01:51 PM

So he was raped? By a muslim girl? WOW, that's a first. Poor guy, that must have been so traumatic for him. I hope he's going to be OK.

All right, enough of the sarcasm, do you want him to stay? Do you think that you'll ever be able to trust him again? When he's late, are you going to worry that something's happened to him, or are you going to wonder if he's cheating again?

Life is too short to be with someone who's a cheater. Never forget that.

He cheated on you while you were pregnant with his child? If he'll do THAT, he'll do anything.

If you want to salvage this relationship, get into counseling. If not, get rid of him, and make him pay child support.