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sad-one · Oct 17, 2009, 12:05 AM

OK so I like this girl... a lot. But she has a boyfriend, and I met him quite recently and decided he was a really freakin cool guy, and honestly I wouldn't want to be a jerk by imposing and screwing up this poor guys relationship. The problem is I just can't stop thinking about her, I spend all of my free time chillin with her which is hours every day. It is as though I can't get enough of being in her presence. And its not even sexual attraction I love being around her... im completely confused... I beg, HELP!

rockie100 · Oct 17, 2009, 12:22 AM

Maybe you should consider not spending so much time with her. Or only spending time with them as a couple. Since you know your feelings toward her, you know you might not be content with just being her friend. You like the boyfriend, so it may be what you need, to see her with him. If this is to hard to do no one would blame you. I just thought you might have a shot at a new friendship. Those are harder to come by than a new girlfriend.

jaime90 · Oct 17, 2009, 12:14 PM

You like being around her, or LOVE being around her, you simply like to be in her presence, and you guys spend all day chillin'. But she has a boyfriend- so she is OFF LIMITS when it comes to a relationship.But this sounds like an awesome friendship. Be friends with her and hang out (unless of course her boyfriend has a problem with that) If you really like her and want to stay friends, be open and honest with her, and tell her that you care about her relationship with this guy and that you don't want to pose a threat to that.

Gemini54 · Oct 18, 2009, 01:13 AM

I'd stop hanging out together so much.

It's clearly doing your head in and making you fantasize about what might be.

If you want to get her out of your head - it's simple, see her less.

I wish · Oct 18, 2009, 07:09 AM

I'm going to be a little more sympathetic of your situation since I was in a very similar same situation.

It's really easy for a third person to tell you to leave her alone until your feelings for her are gone because you start talking to her again.

However, it's really tough for you to block her out of your life, especially when you spend so much time together.

So I suggest a compromise. You definitely need to reduce the amount of time that you spend together. But at the same time, I strongly suggest that you meet new friends. Meeting new people will help divert your interest away from her and to the new people.

talaniman · Oct 18, 2009, 09:29 AM

I go along with I wish, have something else to do with your time beside chilling with her, and being confused by some intense feelings. If you did you would see other, more available options for romance. She is NOT available for what you want, and may only see you as a friend.

Confessing your feelings would lose what you have, a good friend.

2ndTime · Oct 26, 2009, 11:44 PM

It's clearly a friendship and you shouldn't go over this boundary.