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    rayhen57's Avatar
    rayhen57 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 18, 2009, 12:26 AM
    Wife cant give reason why she had sexual affair
    My wife ran away from home to meet a man she met on mxit had sex with him now say she don't know why she did and loves me can I believe her she is also not truthfull on what really happened
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #2

    Oct 18, 2009, 12:33 AM

    Could you give us a bit more information please?
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #3

    Oct 18, 2009, 12:38 AM

    Your wife cheated on you.

    Are you both attending counclling?

    Is she willing to give you any explanation at all, as to why she had sex with another man?
    rayhen57's Avatar
    rayhen57 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Oct 18, 2009, 02:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Could you give us a bit more information please?
    She was on mxit with this guy for 3 months and then just ran away while I was sleeping 03-30am took a plane 480kms away had sex with guy as soon as she got there in a hotel came home after 2 days at first she lied and said she was at a friend but told the truth after I put pressure on her and immediately said she loves me and not him but she say she don't know why she did it and she is sorry she is not seeing this guy anymore but she was not truthful about telling me the details as her stories keep on changing my biggest concern is can someone do something like this and then say she don't know why she did it we are still together I did forgive her and love her but can't put it to rest until I know why she did it
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #5

    Oct 18, 2009, 02:44 AM
    She cheated so your trust has been broken.
    If as you say you love her and you want your marriage to work I suggest couple s councelling-provided that your wife agrees to this and is also willing to work this out.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #6

    Oct 18, 2009, 03:04 AM

    I would also like to add,getting yourself checked out for SDI and STD's..

    If she did not use protection,she was putting your health in danger.

    As much as she claims to love you now,she was not thinking about you or her marriage when she took off to meet a stranger for sex.
    rayhen57's Avatar
    rayhen57 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 18, 2009, 04:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    She s cheated so your trust has been broken.
    If as you say you love her and you want your marriage to work I suggest couple s concealing-provided that your wife agrees to this and is also willing to work this out.
    Thanks for answer but could you please tell if it possible that she don't know why she did it
    sully123's Avatar
    sully123 Posts: 567, Reputation: 148
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    #8

    Oct 18, 2009, 05:10 AM

    Once that happen the trust is gone. Nothing will change that. I am sorry for you, no one deserves that kind of treatment. She is the only one that knew why she did that to you, ask her? I myself would tell her to taking her walking papers. I wouldn't trust her, and she didn't care about your feelings and how this hurt you. The trust rarely comes back, when a spouse does that you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Oct 18, 2009, 05:53 AM

    Finding out why she cheated is what counseling is about. I urge you both to go.

    My questions is why did you forgive her so easily without answers to your questions?
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #10

    Oct 18, 2009, 06:04 AM
    So, she ran away from home to be with a guy she thought was Mr. Perfect, who had romanced her on the internet? And now that's she's had sex with him, and found out that he's not so wonderful after all, she wants to come back to you?

    If ever there was a couple that needs to get into therapy, this is it.

    Go now if you want to salvage this marriage. Good luck to you.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #11

    Oct 18, 2009, 05:06 PM
    Her actions sound immature and quite frankly totally irrational.

    while I was sleeping 03-30am took a plane 480kms away had sex with guy as soon as she got there in a hotel came home after 2 days
    She leaves while you were asleep? Clearly this was pre-planned - flights, hotel bookings don't just materialize out of thin air. This is not just an impetuous one night stand.

    Of course she knows why she did it - she just isn't telling you. Mind you, I suspect that you aren't telling the full story either - people in happy relationships don't jump on a plane in the middle of the night to meet some stranger in a hotel room.

    I believe in forgiveness, but forgiving something like this is just as irrational. It sweeps it under the carpet and pretends that nothing happened.

    Grow some balls man! Tell her that her behavior is unacceptable and utterly disrespectful to the vows that you have taken together. If you want to continue the relationship go to counselling and work out what is at the core of this unhealthy dynamic. I would not trust anything she said or did at this point in time.
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