[ladyl4]

Threads merged

I had been with my boyfriend for 3 years... we have been so good together, never have we been through a rough patch for weeks on end or anything we just have the occasional silly fall out that any other couple would! Anyway, we had an argument last week I was drunk and don't even remember what I said but apparently I brought up a girl that I have brought up in the past an he hates me doing that. So in the end he said he wanted a break but I didn't want one so he ended up splittin up with me and said it was for the best. He says he still loves me the same but he can't give me any more chance because he thnks we just argue over the same thing whenever we do end up arguin.. like over a bit of jealousy!
We've never ever broken up or had a break before we are normally with each other or spk every single day. So I don't know what to think. He does say things that he don't mean when we argue just to upset me an he gets so moody really easily an can be stubborn for days! Anyway this happened a week ago for the first few days I was begging for him to come back but he just wouldn't take me back. He cried so much an we both couldn't eat for days it was that horrible. I just don't know what to thnk. The past 3 days I haven't contacted so I'm proud of myself as I miss him so much and its so hard! Just need some advice on what to do an will he ever take me back. Its his sisters 18th 3 weeks today and my aim is not to spk until then at least an look GORGEOUS so he can't resist me ha. Its my last hope I just don't want anyone else but him no one compares to him! :(

[rockie100]

Its hard to say, or feel, sorry for a argument you don't remember having. Just like its hard to forgive that person who can't remember it. Does he have a problem with your drinking? He might be not so willing to come back unless you have convinced him that your sorry for your jealous- drinken fit and plan to face a possible drinking problem you might have. Im not preaching. I have been in your spot, if Im correct, and lost a boyfriend over what seemed to be something silly. It was accually a big problem I had to deal with or I was never to have a lasting heathly relationship with anyone.

[ladyl4]

Ohh nooo I never drink! Haha was nothing to do with the drinking at all I've only ever been propa drunk like that once in my life ha. Its just I mean because I was drunk I ended up saying something stupid that I didn't mean! I just think if I never got drunk he never would of ended up having to pick me up an then we never would of argued etc!. the only issue here is that he hates me getting a bit jealous over stuff.. he used to be like so overprotective when we started going out an I wasn't then he said he'd change after a year an he did but its like it rubbed off on me a bit so I was like that. Then because I was like that he'd tell me white lies sometimes so that we wudnt end up arguin but sometimes id find out he had lied then that made me worse! vicious circle I guess. But this break up has deffo taught me a lesson, I know if we did ever get back that I was so stupid for getting jealous over silly things an I would never be like that agen! I'm really soft an I'm always running after him anyway, I do everythin for him run around for him an if we argue an I think I'm in the right id just give in an let him win cause he's so stubborn he won't give up so I just give in to save the arguments.

[Fr_Chuck]

You know how many ruin lives there have been with the words " I was drinking and>>>>"

So if you don't drink normally why did you decide to get drunk then

But it is possible he has been hurt about this or these issues in the past, since just being drunk and saying something is normally not the end of it all.

I would bet he has had issues for a while you were not aware of.

You and he need to talk about all the real issues if it is ever going to work,

[ladyl4]

Ahhh listen I've just turned 21 an not an alcoholic or ntohin I'm a student living my life as any student would! He gets drunk sometimes too its just life. And no he doesn't have any issues with me drink watsoever because we know being drunk is not a reason to start an argument it just happens. IGNORE I said I was drunk OK. Basically we had an argument an he wanted a break I wudnt so he ended it now what...

[talaniman]

In avoiding conflicts, you also avoided resolutions. Your drinking episode also was merely the last straw to a growing resentment that was never dealt with.

If you have read enough posts here, you will find that they always start with,

I had been with my boyfriend for 3 years... we have been so good together, never have we been through a rough patch for weeks on end or anything we just have the occasional silly fall out that any other couple would! anyway,

Like most young couples ( in time together, not necessarily age ) you gloss over those silly little arguments, and never think twice but they do add up, especially when a major one comes along. Like your drunken outburst.

I'm really soft an I'm always running after him anyway, I do everything for him run around for him an if we argue an i think I'm in the right id just give in an let him win cause hes so stubborn he wont give up so i just give in to save the arguments.

So the issues are never resolved and it comes back to bite you, as your seeing Now. It was never about you getting drunk, ONCE ( by what you have written) but all the other smaller ones that built up.

He says he still loves me the same but he can't give me any more chance because he thinks we just argue over the same thing whenever we do end up arguing..

Taking the easy way out only hides the real reason there is a conflict. So what I strongly suggest is leaving him alone, and having no contact with him what so ever, and skipping the birthday party.

Radical and unthinkable I know, but again your taking the easy way out, by dressing up, and chasing him yet again.

DON'T, because that just fits into the pattern of what you have been doing to please him, instead of for once standing your ground, and resolving issues.

Communications have to be going between you, and that's not happening, and as bad as I have described your actions, his are no better, but breaking the cycle is the goal, whether you get back together or not.

Either you stand for something, or fall for anything, which is exactly what you have been doing.

Stand for yourself this time. Resolve your own issues in this time apart, and be better for it. You, like most couples have floated along for a few years, and now its time to recognize the real work a couple has to go through, to grow together.

Its about more than just having someone, its learning how to talk, listen, pay attention, and willing to work together.

Yes it gets ugly sometimes, but YOU need to know how to resolve your issues and move beyond them, and sorry, that takes time, and in your case, apart.

By the way chat/text is confusing and hard to understand, so English please, or at least some sentences to understand what your writing.

[ladyl4]

My boyfriend of 3 years finished with me just over a week ago now. Mainly due to an argument of me getting a bit jealous sometimes.. he gets wound up so easily an is so stubborn that he wanted a break.bare in mind we've never had a break of broken up at all since we've been together so maybe he's right! We are normally together all the time really. But because I didn't want a break he decided its for the best to split up, said he still loves me an was so upset about doing it ( cried loads an couldn't eat for days etc)
Anyway after the break up I did the stupid thing an begged an begged him back rang text everythin I know I'm so stupid and I realise that now because that's the worst thing I could have done. So then I basically CUT ALL TIES and I have now not spoken or seen him for a week! Longest week of my life - its been so tough but my friends have kept me sane haha an strong to do it because at the end of the day I really love him and know we are meant to be together so I'm doing this for the both of us.
There's just little things I now know that I'm just wondering what is going on in his head!
Like I know that in his room he's still kept al my teddies/pictures of us/cards I've bought him an stuff he's kept it all up an not moved it. However he did snap a keyring off his keys of us off but maybe that might have been when I was pesterin and annoyin him ha. Anyway so there's that an my mates are going out with his mates too.. and they've askd if my bfs mates if they reckon we'll get back together and they have said they really don't know because they didn't expect it either and my boyfriend has not spoke to any of them about it.
Also he had Facebook ages ago but then deleted it because he hated it an never used it,but I was just waiting for the day when he got it back now he's single because I knew he would. Then week after we split up, he reactivates it an changed his thing to single. Which upset me, I mean I know he is single butits hard to see that! And I was hoping he'd at least hide the relationship status thing at least because then everyone sees he's single an then everyone asks why etc.. and I didn't want that. Also I didn't think he knew how to take it off anyway because he hasn't got a clue how to use it haha.but then 2 days later I noticed he hidden the single bit :) I was happy! Just thing this is a good sign I don't know need your opinion? Also, I kept mine up saying single to make him sweat! Ha. And also he has not taken any pictures of us two of it or taking me off his interests part. So I'm intregued whether I'm looking into things too much or whether it really does mean he's not sure what he wants yet.

[Romefalls19]

Do NOT and I repeat, DO NOT read into things. There are tons of reason as to why the Facebook is that way.

1. He got tired of people asking "why"
2. He got bored
3. Ran out of time
4. Saw Facebook for what it is, a time occupying, drama filled site

Delete him as a friend and block his profile. Trust me, you will only hinder your recovery process

[ladyl4]

Oh wait... hes literally ten minutes ago come bk on it an put the single thing bk uppppp arhh he's so confusin ha.. also some lad we both know invited us to his 21st an I told him to ask my boyfriend even though id said we've split up.. just to see what he said- an he asked him and my boyfriend avoided the question an said I'm off now mate speak later.. hmmm

[Romefalls19]

Do yourself a favor and delete him, you are only going to continue down this confusing winding road. I've been there, luckily I had friends to pull me out of hell and smack me back to reality and make me realize I was only hurting myself

[ladyl4]

Ahh its so hard

[talaniman]

How old are you?

And why do you start different threads about the same guy?

Stick to just one, as they all have been merged here, for you to give feedback, and answer questions on.

Stay off his Facebook, and find something else to focus on besides him, as this game your playing, doesn't seem to be doing anything toward getting him back.