[kc3517]

After two years me and my girlfriend had an argument about how we hadn't been talking and hadn't been having sex (I wouldn't feel up to it). I had a lot of work stress and she made a point that I had bills, etc, etc to take care of. We had just moved to another city 9 mon before and after the fight she said she had to go home and talk to her parents. She looked me in the eyes and said it wasn't over. On the Friday she was coming home I came home from work early to find she had taken her things and left. She left a note saying how much she loved me and it didn't have to be over. She needed space and I needed to get my together. A called her several times over the next 2 weeks leaving text massages and all. The little amount of feedback I got from her was that I had hurt her emotionally throughout the course of our relationship and since I couldn't give her space she said it was through. I'm just now actually backing off but I love her so much and have never felt the way I do about her, for anyone else. I feel I may have pushed her away but I know she still loves me. I really want her back. I recognize how selfish I was and how unappreciated I made her feel. What do I do?

[Cat1864]

She told you what she wanted and needed both before and after she left. Any attempt you make to get her back will probably be viewed as not listening to her and will re-enforce her negative beliefs. Right now, it sounds like her trust in you is very low.

You can't make her come back. You can be there if she does return, but that may be wasting your time. I don't know if she will.

You need to move on and let her go. Not easy, I know. Hurts a lot. Plenty of other people will agree with that and reading their threads might help.

You need to work on letting yourself heal. You know where you messed up and we can give advice on how not to do it again. Just keep adding on to this thread and we will do our best to help.

There are stickies at the top of the Relationships forum that might help you.

[I wish]

You had 2 years to build a relationship. There's nothing you can do at this point. If she wants you back, she will find you. Leave her alone so that you don't annoy her anymore.

For now, focus on getting your life together. That should be your priority. Remember, if you can't even take care of yourself, how can you worry about someone else?

[ace8123]

Just let her have her space. Don't call her.Trust me. Pretend like it's over. If she calls you act like you don't care as much and everything is going great in your life. Be strong

[friend4u178]

She would have told you it's not necessarily over when she left to let you down lightly. She'd thought hard and long about this before you even knew about it and had made her mind up.

For now all you can do is give her the space she asked for and except that its over. Go No Contact because the more you try to contact her now will only push her away further and validate to herself that she made the right decision.Hopefully you've learnt something from this and don't make the same mistakes in the future.

[Gemini54]

It's really sad isn't it? That you could only recognize your selfishness after it's all over.

You pushed her away and it now that she's had time alone to think about it she doesn't want you back.

All you can do is respect her wishes. You now know something really important about yourself which you can take with you into future relationships.

It's a really hard way to learn a lesson, about how NOT to treat the people that you love.

[talaniman]

This would be a good time to regroup and build a life without her in it.

[Starry nights]

Gem,totally agree with you on that one--the lessons always come at a price.And once we are able to grasp the meaning,despite all the hurt,tears and suffering,I suppose,we become more evolved,mature people(hopefully),who wouldn't make the same mistakes.