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A4Effort · Oct 14, 2009, 05:49 PM

I guess your right. I should just quit being a little you know what and continue with my life.

kctiger · Oct 14, 2009, 05:51 PM

Don't get me wrong man, you have every right to wonder why and how, and what and so on. Hell, I know I did. But you are strong enough to deal with this, I know it and so do the countless other posters on here who offer you advice. Sometimes life just sucks, no other word for it. But we fall so we can learn to pick ourselves back up again... and sometimes we fall over and over again, but as long as we keep getting back up we will be fine.

talaniman · Oct 14, 2009, 07:29 PM

Ever notice on a bad day, you think of everything that has gone wrong in your life? That's not reality though, reality is that your wallowing in your own pity, because that's the easiest thing to do. We all do it to some extent, but you'll get enough of that and get up, and figure out something else to do.

The bad times make the good ones to come even sweeter, and that's the attitude to have. Just one hard working SOB to another.

A4Effort · Oct 14, 2009, 08:32 PM

I agree with you completely because after reading Kc's post and yours it made me see the slump I put myself in. Things happen for a reason and you just have to deal with it. Well I just got off work so Im headed home to write a paper that's do tomorrow. Thanks for the pep talk. I needed that.

white-rose · Oct 14, 2009, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by A4Effort

Yes, I agree with you white-rose. Now that I am a little further in my healing process I can see that there are others. I have met some beautiful girls with wonderful personalities. I am very thankful for all the support around here and the support I am receiving from the people around me. I am channeling all my anger into motivation. Every day I am learning something new, meeting a new friend, or learning something about myself. I know I will have more rough days as well as many more good days. But I have gone through too much in my life to let a girl slow it down. This whole journey has been a huge learning experience and I am glad that I have been able to go through it. I see nothing but positives coming from this. I was caught up in this routine with her where I kept on doing the same thing over and over again. I did not have any personal time and that kept my motivation low to do anything else besides work, school, and being with her. Now I am very much into working out again and I even was able to get my six pack back again in just a month. I have my first gallery opening coming up for my photography and I will have another one in January. Also, I had a local business interested in selling my art. All of this I wouldn't have done if I was with her because she needed me to be with her at all times. LIFE IS GREAT!!!

That is awesome to hear that you are seeing the positive through this experience, and are accomplishing goals in your life now without her. You seem very confident and are strong now which is difficult to be after a break-up. You are loving yourself now, and it seems to be making you happy. No matter what, you put yourself and your needs first, which you seem to be achieving. Good job :)

A4Effort · Oct 14, 2009, 10:41 PM

So here I am thinking to myself again. I do not know why my dumb brain and heart are messing with me. Even though I saw what my ex is capable of I still feel sad. Even though I know I will find someone I still miss her. Even though I know she has moved on and I do not want to take her back, I still miss her. Even though I am not moping anymore and am focused on myself again I still miss her. Why is it that I take all these steps forward and then take a huge step back? I am still in love. How will that go away? I feel as if I broke the NC contact rule and have gone back to step 1 but I haven't done anything wrong to do so. What kind of man am I when I can't even get over this. *sigh*

friend4u178 · Oct 14, 2009, 10:48 PM

There's no Magic Wand it just takes time , you just have to be patient and let the healing powers do their stuff while realising your going to have bad days.

We all handle adversity differently , some heal quicker , some slower , you've just got to stay patient while doing everything you can in your power to help quicken the process ie: NC etc.

bswc · Oct 14, 2009, 10:48 PM

A4, you are a normal man. Its never wrong to miss someone, but do it in a way that u're moving on, whilst missing your ex less and less. All that matter is your mentality and TIME. Keep it up, don't get yourself crazy thinking you can get over it permanently by just a click.

A4Effort · Oct 14, 2009, 10:58 PM

I guess its just been a rough day for me. I am not looking forward at all to class tomorrow because I know I will have to put my fake smile on and listen to all the flirting/chatting that will occur between my ex and her new "friend."

bswc · Oct 15, 2009, 05:11 AM

Stay strong A4effort, it's the moutain that we climb, that makes us the better man.

bswc · Oct 15, 2009, 05:11 AM

Stay strong A4effort, it's the mountain that we climb, that makes us the better man.

A4Effort · Oct 15, 2009, 08:02 AM

So I am dreading going to this class. I enjoy the class itself and I have to attend it but I know she will be there. I know she will talk to her "friend" and I know I will hurt. Today I do not feel strong at all. I will not let her have the satisfaction of seeing me this way but I know it will affect me for the rest of the day. Every time I think of going to class I imagine how they have hung out outside of class. I think of how they might be in a relationship if they are not already in one. I feel like sh*t.

I need some encouragement to go be through this day.

amicon · Oct 15, 2009, 08:27 AM

You ve done it before and you can do it again.
Don't let her get to you.

A4Effort · Oct 15, 2009, 08:31 AM

I know I can't let her get to be but I feel very out of control today in terms of my emotions. My stomach is upset because of it and I just have this overall like crap.

kctiger · Oct 15, 2009, 08:33 AM

You continue to walk with your head held high every day... knowing what kind of man you are and what kind of MAN you always will be. That's all you can do in these situations. Keep your head up and keep moving through the BS.

A4Effort · Oct 15, 2009, 10:46 AM

My blood is boiling! I am not giving her the satisfaction. I can't wait to kick and punch the bags tonight. She is not making this easy for me. But I will show her and myself who I am and how strong I can be.

DerelictHerds · Oct 15, 2009, 04:38 PM

Beat the hell out of them

But remember to tape up 8)

A4Effort · Oct 15, 2009, 06:12 PM

Well I could not wait to beat those bags. I held my head high and did not take one look at her. She didn't talk to me and continued talking to her boy toy. When it was time for my taekwondo class I asked my teacher to run me to the ground. She did just that and I hit those bags harder then ever before. I have so much anger and I am channeling it all into positive energy. I used it to teach great martial arts classes and to do my job to my best abilities. I am so motivated to work out as much as I can. I just want to go up to her and scream f u to her but I won't. I swear I will succeed in all my goals and I will not stop working until achieve every single one of them. I will get through this and show
Myself that I am strong. I am so thankful for my work ethic. Without it I would not be here today.

friend4u178 · Oct 15, 2009, 06:20 PM

Originally Posted by A4Effort

I just want to go up to her and scream f u to her but I won't. .

Yep that's definitely not a good idea , all it will do is make you look weak and she'll be able to validate breaking up with you to herself.

Best way is to keep doing what your doing and make her see you as being happy and not needing her to make you happy , it hurts them more.

A4Effort · Oct 15, 2009, 06:35 PM

Well, I am so glad that I am sticking to NC. I couldn't care less if I never saw her again. I know that this is my anger talking but it sure is helping me get over her. These high's and low's are crazy.

Have I improved? What the hell is next?