[karakas]

I just came out of a two year relationship, We moved way too fast and it became very co dependent,lived together from 1 month into it. We rarely had arguments throough it all and got along heading for similar goals, within the last two months she started to get cold feet and I felt it, we finally decided to go on a break but after 2 weeks she called and ended it. She left signs at home when I went to pick up some stuff such as tissues on the bed to show me she was crying.This only happened within the first 2 to 3 days after the break-up. I was left with absolutely no self esteem and what I can hear from our common friends that she is riding an ego trip at the moment. She knows I never did anything wrong and it only took her 10 days to start seeing someone else, which ended in a week or 2 for her. She still contacts me about work that we still have together which I need the money so I couldn't just cut it off.As soon as I send an email for a basic question about work she runs the conversation longer than it should be, still related to work and no emotions shown. We had a sort of closure meeting with me explaining why it all went wrong and she agreed that bottom line is we saw each other too much. I showed her that I was cool with her seeing someone else and it didn't bother me but asked her not to rub it in my face.Deep down inside I know that she is not going to easily find someone as good as me. I do miss her but don't want to give her too much importance especially not to feed her ego any further. I live on an island that we are bound to bump into each other at parties and this bothers me cause it makes it harder for me to forget her and move on. Do you think that she will wake up one day and realise what she has lost cause I know that deep down there is guilt on her part. Will this guilt ever re surface and is she ever going to miss me as much as I miss her ?

[Cat1864]

I just came out of a two year relationship, We moved way too fast and it became very co dependent,lived together from 1 month into it. We rarely had arguments throough it all and got along heading for similar goals,

How was it co-dependant? You aren't mentioning any problems other than seeing a lot of each other that seems to have lead to boredom and eventual break up.

I was left with absolutely no self esteem and what i can hear from our common friends that she is riding an ego trip at the moment.

Why were you left with no self-esteem? What did she say or do that lead to that feeling besides deciding that the relationship wasn't working? Don't believe everything that "common friends" say. Rumor is very rarely the truth. What she shows them may not be how she feels on the inside or they may be trying to stir up trouble (I watched that happen in my own life. Not all friends are true friends especially where break ups are concerned).

She still contacts me about work that we still have together which I need the money so I couldnt just cut it off.

If she were as bad as you seem to be trying to make her out to be after the break up, she could get an ego boost just by messing up your work. However, it doesn't sound like that is what she did.

We had a sort of closure meeting with me explaining why it all went wrong and she agreed that bottom line is we saw each other too much.

You explained why it all went wrong? She agreed? That sounds more like you broke up with her and she just finalized it when she realized the 'break' wasn't working.

Do you think that she will wake up one day and realise what she has lost cause I know that deep down there is guilt on her part. will this guilt ever re surface and is she ever going to miss me as much as i miss her ?

What guilt should she be feeling? You did not in any of that say why she should feel guilty for moving on. She had a few dates after you broke up. So what? I don't think you want her as much as you want the ego stroking that her coming back to you would be.

I think you need to move on and try to heal from this past relationship.

[talaniman]

One of the things we always do is dwell on what went wrong and maybe there is a chance to fix it later.

After a break up, you have to heal, just to get over the intense feelings of loss, and get back to realistic, healthy thoughts and actions.

The longer you look back and dwell on what was, the longer it takes to see what is.

[I wish]

The bottom line is that her feelings for you have changed. She doesn't like you enough to stay in a relationship. Everything else are just excuses to berak up (i.e. seeing each other too much).

We have no idea if her feelings will change back and like you enough to be with you again. But think about it, if her feelings can change so easily, how will you ever have any security? Who knows when her feelings will flip-flop again.

Don't count on her coming back to you. Focus on healing from this break up. If you do bump into her, just be polite and keep the conversation as short as possible and move on. Any conversations that you have with her will only give you false hope and add to the confusion.

If you need to review the no contact rules, please read the following:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html